I look in the mirror
My mask hides the broken girl

I wash away the perfect skin
I wash away the rosy cheeks
I wash away the boldness of my eyelashes
I wash away the red lips

I look in the mirror
I see the broken girl
The girl the world thinks is whole

The heat seeping into my body through my hands
The steam sticking to my face like glue
The smell of peppermint surrounds me

I close my eyes and listen to the thunderclap
I listen to the rain hit my window

I fall apart
I shatter
Into a million little pieces

I feel the tea splash onto my hand as I shake
It burns but I enjoy the pain
It reflects the pain in my heart

Footsteps
I throw up my walls
Wipe away the tears
Clean up the tea

I'm fine.

Pressure every where I turn
Everyone wants something

They want me to do well in school
They want me to excel at work

They want me to be home
They want me to be social

They want me to be an adult
They want me to ask for help

They want me to be strong
They want me to open up

Everything is what they want
When is it going to be what I want?
When can I be me?
When will my voice be heard?

i failed
im sorry
i tried to be a friend
now im an enemy to be dealt with
im sorry

things happening to fast
left in the dark
shaking uncontrollably
anger swarming
fear swelling up inside
bottling everything
having to hide
unable to breathe
unable to stay still
unable to think
trying not to break
a ticking time bomb ready to burst
ready to strike
chained in place
caged
needing to run
restraining the urges
not wanting to make things worse
concern about the future
not budging when told to leave
seeing the hurt and fear in her

Cornered
Trapped
Caged
No where to go

Fear
Terror
Broken

Mad for crying
Memories flooding back

Scared to move
Wanting to run
Ready to dart

Annoyed that she won't listen
Grateful she won't leave even though
She's been told over again

Wanting to curl up in her arms
Denying any attempts of comforting

Wanting to hide
Wanting to be alone to cry
Wanting to just disappear

You say you're different
You say you won't hurt me
You say I can trust you

They said that too
But they all were the same
They are no where to be found
They didn't just hurt me, they shattered me
They taught me why I shouldn't trust

Don't lie to me
You're only here for the chase
Don't lie to me
You'll stop caring once you have me