Her food
Her laugh
Her steadfast steps along her path
Her eyes
Her words
Ever so wise
Her patience, her warmth
The way the world moves,
as she talks
Her patience for me
Jesus Christ, and the amount she needs to ***
She’s got me
In her grasp
If only she was within mine.

I forgot.
My place - lost,
My mistakes - vast.
The surrender became real,
I became suffocated by the appeal.
Now I struggle,
although I stumble,
I must rid myself of this rubble.
So that I may laugh not weep.
Its time to wake from this stifling sleep.

Your caresses through my hair.
Your words continuously echoing.
It's your laugh, the true sound of happiness.
The roughness of your wisdom filled hands.
Those casual kisses and storm-calming embraces.
Your smell of untold secrets, well aged love and world forgiven sins.

Lost but not forgotten.
Gone but forever loved.

Close.
    Your.
       Eyes.
The world becomes morphed by something you should never have done,
But you have.
You do.
And you will again and again.

47 years kept in your mind,
A secret none thought to find.
It shook them.
Left them to wonder.
An uncle, cousin, son,brother.
And then the search began in thunder:
Discarding thoughts of irrelevance,
Piecing together the evidence.
Although still fearful of danger;
"Welcome to the family",
Stranger.

The questions;
Ongoing.
My body deceives my mind
And my mind, fruitlessly, tries to return the favour.
The fear of committing,
Committing to the confession,
Is overwhelming
But mostly it's The Uncertainty.
It slowly
Takes
Over
And then once again I'm at peace.