Mirrors broken,
Fractions splitting,
Ever finely,
Watching secrets,
Flowing through me,
Ever asking,
Who am I?

When I can’t even see—
Me anymore
I don’t even dream—
Anymore.

Falling headfirst into the light
So bright it burnt my eyes,
In a dream or was it life?
Embattled with the ruse,
I could abscond with all the rules
A ravaging abuse obtusely used
As I drained away my youth.

Barreling though what I knew,
A misery of sorts,
Traumatic tendrils grip like anchors
The pills were my only resource
A numbness to pick up my sword
Dangled over head, Damocles
Striking down my enemies.

But bridges burnt,
Was a double edged blade
Because even the ones I loved
I could no longer save
As this anger exploded
Like a sun above us shining
Nuclear and blinding
I scorched ties and dried out salves
Until healing was impossible—
Lest you cauterized the wound.

Now as embers cool
And coals burn off to ash
Brittle like aching bones,
Brutal as hindsight,
Where loneliness creeps
And the current of thoughts
Flow like rapids concordantly
Drifting through the steepest fog
Where the mind divides,
I care only for clarity and intimacy
To feed this malnourishment.

It’s been so hard looking through time,
With eyes of a fly,
As these mirror shards remind,
I have never been sure.

Am I an artist?
                  Am I a poet?
                                     Am I a photographer?
            A philosopher?
                              Am I a fighter?
          A vigilante?
                             Am I human?
                   Am I a demon?
      Am I a lover?
                                   Am I anti life?

I stare blankly into a deep black emptiness.
Singing a forced fed lyric.:
Who am I?

This doesn’t compute
The lies that travel,
Silk woven webs
Have failed to connect.

I want to live on your tongue,
To see the words pass by,
Like a stage cars passing down
And when the crash hits

^BANG

And the letters jumble like passengers
Who will know what is real,
When the st-st-sttuddderr—ing sounds
Mix and relent into a lack of coherence?

What is the thing you wish to say
If you could have said, if you would have said
From your miserable maw?

Gaped with disbelief
As you hurdle credibility like landfill
Out of your mouth.

I command,
An exposition for you to stand,
Upon your own laurels
And hope you contend
On merit of your own self worth.

Lost in translation
These words no longer hold a meaning
It doesn’t bode well,
When nothing makes sense
From incredulous sources.

You remain…
A stain,
Syntax error.

Show me the way
Through the streams of time
Wrapped in your arms,
Am I a worthy passenger?

I want to cross these shadows,
Skipping stars like rocks
Rippling through the emptiness
Marbles running in circles,
Around your luminance.

I want to be engulfed,
Disintegrated into ash
Trailing off in the gentle winds

I want to remember closeness,
Like it was a gentle friend,
Instead of how foreign it became,
A stranger to me now.

Crash upon me like waves
I want to bleed my colors
Like wet paint against your shores
Hoping to be splayed out in your likeness
Will you let me be your passenger?

Top down, windows open
Blast beats, on back roads
Into the distance, through darkest tunnels
Let me slumber here,
Through the streams of time.

Draw me a bath,
Infinite in its fathoms
To drown me under
Til the blue becomes black
And nothing illuminates
It’s all still and cold.

Let time escape
Like air bubbles rising
Catching the surface
To pop with all my screaming
As peaceful tepid currents
Tumble through and wash.

Call upon me,
At the altar of your sorrows
And as your tears fall like raindrops
I’ll drink you within my tomb,
Until the day I can breach the surface
And be as you have begged for,
A gilded blade to puncture all that harms you,
It’s in my blood to obey.

So flood me like Atlantic,
Loudness fades to white static
Anything to get me to sleep…