I swear I’m not angry, believe it or not  
It’s just my face
God knows what you’re thinking as you watch me mope around your place
Looking dazed and confused
You could say I’ve been sleepwalking
With a self-deprecating mind set I often find myself destined to lose
It turns out
I was wasting my time wishing for things I thought I loved
Whilst knowing all along they would never be enough to satisfy me wholeheartedly
There’s no doubt that now’s the time to take my leave
I can no longer wait for the “perfect opportunity” if it means I’m existing in total obscurity
The roads I’m leaving behind are darker than the ones that are yet to come
Although those streets will be warped in memories
It won’t distract me from what’s waiting under the stifling heat of a midday sun
Far from those grey leaden skies that burdened me for so long
What was once my home turf quickly became a total disaster
Infiltrated with cruel hearts with ‘go nowhere’ attitudes
Swarming around my head incessantly like awkward fits of laughter
From the classic school yard bully who’s ruined another poor child’s day
But in truth
They’re only programmed to act in a petulant way
Because they’ve been ignored all their life and not taught how to be nice
It might sound basic and dumb to some who fail to see how two wrongs don’t make a right
The kind of individual who carries on as they please in a pandemic
Refusing to see the contradiction in their acts of irrational desperation
Only acknowledging death statistics once they’re highlighted by Billie Eilish
Or any celebrity who looks a little bit stylish
Because evidently that’s the only requirement to be taken seriously
Scientists, doctors, and politicians are just collateral damage to the cause
In fairness, who’s going to take much notice
Of the middle-aged white man in a suit and tie
Telling you you’re all going to die if you carry on as you are
When the leader of the free world’s more interested in taken shots at environmentalists
And banning 'Tik Tok' for “security reasons”
Than unprovoked gun crime and the entire state of California going up in flames for no good reason…
According to him that is
Yet again another act of pure stupidity fuels a government decision
The confusion resonates like a prophesy in any religion
Take your pick, it’s all nonsense to me
Leading to communal diversity and total irrelevancy
From the major issues we’re facing today that aren’t being addressed
Let’s get real, this is one big ******* mess  
When the easy option of ignoring issues of such significance because it might cost popularity in an election contest is taken
In the blind hope the pain is fleeting, and in the long run all will be forgotten
But life simply doesn’t work out that way
Even if there’s always one exception to the rule
I don’t think it’ll be you

I can only see the truth
In the near distance
And I bathe in the fire of its certainty
I prefer the immediate pain of it
Rather than stewing in a melting *** of ‘what ifs’
A death by a thousand cuts is fun for no one
Don’t you agree?
Or would you be weighed down by the burden,
Of living life without the liberty of hope?
It doesn’t mean ambition has to be quashed
It doesn’t mean vision has to be vague
Or your spirit has to dwindle like a glorious rainbow fading to beige
It’s just a reminder you don’t have to plough on
Senseless and directionless
Like a hamster outside of the wheel
Blinded by the darkness of a vast space
In what was once described as the ‘golden age’
Before it all went to ****
Before everything got so real
As we dreamt life would mean more to us than this
Now all that’s left is to look around for someone to blame
In the name of achieving a clear conscious
Because who really wants to take responsibility?
To act by choice with sincerity and an overwhelming sense of morality
When in reality
All we ever want is to be free
And to get away with as much as we can
Like having one more drink before the pain in your liver reaches breaking point
If you’re lucky you’ll wake up face down in a gutter
Rather than face up in a hospital bed
Fighting for your life because there’s nothing else to do
Because we both know If you had the option, you wouldn’t bother
If you had the option, you’d be out getting slaughtered
In a ****** old ****** or in front of your daughter
It’s all the same to you
For someone so pitiful with bewildering behaviour
Who only calls his kids once a month, and when you do
It’s just to ask for that one last special favour
Knowing the answer you’ll get every time is the same
Yes, anything you ask dad
Yes, anything just for you
And who in that hopeless position gives up the chance to be aided and abetted?
Because it’s easier to ignore the lessons you’re supposed to learn today
In the hope they won’t return tomorrow
But they always do
Scrutiny is always one step away from coming for you
And I can say for a fact nothing is more certain in life
Because, well
I can only see the truth

You only ever talk to me when you think I need to get my **** together
It's kind of sweet but patronising coming from someone who's mentally still a child
Come on
You spend all day taking photos of the cats that infiltrate your flat
And trying to come up with witty content for your twitter profile
All the while
Ignoring the world that's right outside your window
Maybe I'm not much different to you
Indulging in ones self is a distraction born out of building fascination to feel like I belong somewhere
Because they lied, from my first breath to my last
If they thought the test of living here on earth is one I'd pass
I guess that's why I'm making it all up as I go along
Stumbling through in isolation until I unwittingly meet the act of subjugation
Where they'll finally get to me
With their out of date views on what it is the younger generation are meant to do
Inevitably
I'll succumb
I'll play dumb
Just like the common fool
Just like you

You expect everything I say to be profound
Said with deep meaning and thoughtfulness
But I’m sorry my dear I’m just hear to speak my mind
And if you know what’s good for you
You won’t sit around complaining
Just let life unfold, from dreads of grey to glistening gold
Although, I can’t guarantee what shade you’ll get from me

Beautiful faces don’t have to worry about personality
They can get away without being intelligent or funny
I wish my looks were enough to make me desirable
But unlike them I have to put in the effort
To get by day to day to make sure my talent doesn’t go the same way
As your increasingly declining form of morality
Straight down a black hole never to return again

The men that run the world are the ones you never see
Profiting in their hand-made suffering
But do you really think they care about all the fatalities
While they’re performing inhumane atrocities?
And if you spied on them for one evening
It wouldn’t surprise me if they went to sleep in a suit and tie
Not giving a **** about the how and why
If the winning ends vindicate the indefensible means

Holy smokes, is this all a joke?
That heaven only allows in the fascinating and wealthy
Because if that’s the case I’m sure to be in trouble
Even if it’s a place made up by bored fantasists
The thought alone still makes me restless
I’m just a common fool who’s forever spinning around
And I’ll only come back down if you admit this is all lie

Nobody can tell me the internet isn’t anything but anxiety-inducing
Scrolling for days hunting for the many ways
To be vital, to be liked, to be followed, to be adored
By the faceless masses that you wouldn’t look at twice in the street
And isn’t that the key?
To find self-freedom and the confidence to be
Anything you want to be without all those despising eyes
Castigating and spreading lies that they don’t have to answer for
And where’s the justice in that?
But equally
Why does it affect us so much? Why does it get under our skin
If we really know it doesn’t mean a thing
It shouldn’t force us to change our very core
The deep-rooted feelings we’ve so far successfully believed in
Because in the long run
People respect honesty and truth
Even if it means we end up living in a conflicted dystopian world
It’s better than a self-created unsustainable make-believe ******* fantasy
And yeah,
I’m well aware that sounds crazy
But I’m here to tell you
It’s fine to spend hours in aeroplane mode
In the aim to find salvation in time spent alone  
I honestly believe the world would be in a better place if we all lived that way
But what do I know?
Of course
I know nothing at all