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May 2018 · 96
Where Do I Go From Here
Darien May 2018
My scattered nature renders me permanently confused
And i seem to have lost my way again
I dont know where I am
Or where I go from here

All I know
Is that I know nothing
Nothing at all
Least of all me

My brain feels minced
And my heart compressed
A constant discomforting feeling
Deep within my gut

Ice runs through my veins
And I struggle to breathe
Where do I go from here?
Claustrophobic and low

Temporarily blinded
Blinded by my own sheer idiocy
Why did I think
That I could face this world alone?

Hollowed out like a tree trunk
I'm a shell
Made of porcelain
Once perfect, now cracked

Thrown away
Like the rest
Of the unwanted,
misfit toys

I used to be so sure
So sure of who I was
Now, I realize I'm a farce

Simply a mimic of others behavior
No substance lies beneath
The exterior
Where do i go from here?

I need to find my way
But I dont know which way to go
Or where to start
On this journey of self discovery

All I know is that
I need to move
And keep moving
Pick a starting point
And move

My scattered nature
Can fix itself
Stitch a blank slate
And start anew
May 2018 · 90
Bodunk Love
Darien May 2018
Allow me
Let me ease your pain
I'll make you smile everyday
Crack your code
We'll seize the day

Envelop me
Make ya all that I see
Choke on your breath
God, its unconcievable
But you are all that I need

Consume me
Electrify my synapses
Get high off the endorphins
That you release in me
That I release in you
Can you feel the electric heat
Of electrons spitting
Up in this room?

I know life is hard
It seems no matter where I look
People are getting shot up and slaughtered

Women and kids
are getting snatched up
And sold for fodder

And home ain't a home
Dads gone awol
And your moms
on the speed

Broken family
Fighting all the time
Different man
every day and every night

Afraid to go to sleep at night
Wondering who's going to sneak in-
To your bed tonight

Makes you wonder
Why the hell should I stay clean?
I'd much rather be high than sober
At least then I can pretend I'm floating till its over.
But together we can weather the storm
We might get pulled under
But the sting of adrenaline
Is what we live for

So come on sweet lily,
Embrace the tide with me
Breathe in my air
Ride or die with me
Don't be afraid
Old age is just a pipe dream

Sweet lily
Don't forget the silver lining
Don't you remember?
Growing up young and free?
In our little bodunk town
Growing up wild and out
Untamed and not afraid
To thrown down
And show out

White trash
That's all we were
Epitome of Americana
****** up southern belles
Red neck delinquents
Had to go pay for bail
So we went
cruising down the street
Blunt in one hand
Dropped it off
Hope the check didn't smell of ****
****.
How stupid were we?

Break me
I want to feel vulnerable
Cuz I'm feeling a bit too stoic
And incorrigible

God its intolerable
But you make me think that I
Can past this shitfest that's so
insufferable

Sweet lily
Build me up just to
Break me down
Reconstruct my walls
Then tear it down

I might sound masochistic
A little left of sane chick
But ain't that what love is
My ride or die miss

But I don't mind
No I don't mind
Because I know I'm home
When I feel your hand in mine
Darien May 2018
The fanatical have now reached
critical level.
It seems to me
the sound of mind have taken
a sabbatical.

Seems to me
that there's a lot going on
more than the eye can see
I can't believe
people actually fall for what
they be saying on the TV.

Thats just insanity.
Don't the public see
that the media only operates
to create conflict
and deceive.

So take in what I'm layin down.
Look up.
See what's goin round.
Open up your eyes
and soak in the pill of truth.
The answer lies
beneath the ruse produced

The news wants us scared.
Instead of giving us the truth,
they'd much rather us live in fear.
Showing nothing but people
getting shot up the block,
and guess what,
the shooter's always cops.

Men in blue are racists,
so dont aspire to be a cop.
Spiking our blood anytime
a police car rolls up.

Police brutality's a thing,
but like with anything,
a rotten apple doesn't spoil
the whole batch babe,

These men live and die
to serve and protect you.
They bleed blue.
Pay respect where it's due.
Don't disparage an entire force
due to the **** poor actions
of the poisoned few.

So take in what I'm layin down.
Look up.
See what's goin round.
Open up your eyes
and soak in the pill of truth.
The answer lies
beneath the ruse produced

I'm seeing women
marching these streets,
trying to maintain
some semblance of dignity.
That I can stand beside,
but Kathy Griffin's joke
against the pres
I can't get behind.

Its asinine.
Now if that's feminism,
then forgive me,
but I resign.
I'd much rather
have peace of mind.

I might not like the pres,
but we got to find
another way
to move past
these difficult times.

So take in what I'm layin down.
Look up.
See what's goin round.
Open up your eyes
and soak in the pill of truth.
The answer lies
beneath the ruse produced

See,
Terrorism isn't just across the seas.
Hell no!
Terrorism's right in front of me,
in our schools,
in our homes,
blatantly happening
right on our streets.

****, it even happened
at a concert
of Jason Aldeans!
This I can't believe.
This I can't unsee.
If we stay on this trajectory,
we face massive catastrophe!

And yet we focus
on staying politically correct.
All diplomatic
while our country's
under duress.

Well,
**** politically correct!
Who these leaders
trying to impress?
We need to fix this mess!

Now,
I'm not saying
we need to kick everyone out.
No,
what I'm saying
is we need to protect
the one's with us now.

We're so focused
on pleasing everyone
on a global scale
that we forget
about the ones
in our own country
that need our help.

Like Puerto Rico,
and the Us ****** Islands.
Our supposed leaders
turned a blind eye to em!

These are our people,
and our government
left them to die.
**** like this
Wow, it just blows
my mind.

Its a wonder
we don't break
from the
unsurmountable sins
built up
from time.

What the ****'s up
with the world
these days.
We've lost our way.
And the rich
are bathing in green
while they watch
world waste away
And I'm here to say

Take in what I'm layin down.
Look up.
See what's goin round.
Open up your eyes
and soak in the pill of truth.
The answer lies
beneath the ruse produced

This country's now
a bleeding wound.
Raining blood
like a **** monsoon.

A cesspool
of ignorance,
especially now
with the king of hate
as our president.

See now,
people are divided
instead of United
hating and killing
and villianizing
the innocent.

I bet you if the ones
who sacrificed their lives
for a better nation
could see us today.
What would they say?
Not a **** thing,
they'd turn
and hang their heads
they'd be so ashamed.

And we're all to blame.
Pointing fingers
left and right
just to spark a fight.
Hating someone
based on prejudice,
now you know
that just ain't right.

You preach first amendment,
and yet you attack anyone
who you deem ignorant
just cause they don't agree with you.
They'll wreck you
just to spite you.

Force us to pick a side,
and if it ain't left,
you condemn anyone
who chooses right.
Please Keep an Open Mind
May 2018 · 368
My Lolita
Darien May 2018
The worst of it is
when you're alone at 3 in the morning
and it's quiet.

You're by yourself,
no need to hold it together,
but you still won't cry.

You could cry. Sweet ******,
you could shed a river to rival the Mississippi, and no one would be the wiser.

You're alone.
No one is there to judge you
but you still won't

because there is you to deal with,
and you don't want to appear weak
even to yourself.

The makeshift levee keeping you're mind
intact is about ready to break,
it's overflowing.

The pressure is high, and you're holding this
unstable structure together with ducktape
and plugging in the cracks with chewed up bubble gum.

It's hopeless,
my dear,
this levee, but it'll hold another night.

For now, you stare at the ceiling
and count the seconds between heartbeats,
reminding yourself that you're not imaginary.

Very much present in this farce reality.
The gears keep turning, and there's a gremlin in your ear whispering godless things,

And for years you were far too naive
to tell him to shhh, shut up
and get your *** in the corner.

Naive ******,
the mind is as shattered
as your pulp of a heart.

Poor, pitiful ******.
You never could put yourself back together again
now, could you?

Do you know
what hurts worse
than a broken heart?

Not remembering
what it was like before.
How whole you feel.

My ******,
that hearts been
broken so long

I doubt
you could remember
a time when it wasn't.

How long my sweet ******
tried to repair it
so many times

but it just keeps breaking.
All shattered to bits.
There's hardly anything left now to fix.

My broken ******,
the reflection of
my most sacred regrets.

Young ******,
though I tried
to right the wrong,

I failed you.
I never wanted you
to become so hollow.

My empty ****** doll,
you were damaged
beyond repair.

My ******,
We fix the bruised.
Not the broken

— The End —