the road is long
and i am tired
years without respite
hope no longer carries the feet
i am beginning to sink
already drowning
staring at the surface
as i invite the water to fill my lungs
they don’t tell you how peaceful it is

she said jesus brought the spring
that she’ll teach me how to pray
but lord knows what I’ve seen
there is no heaven on the way

sweet followed by bitter
always with a price
i’ll stay on the sidelines
never live a life
steady as it comes
same the way it goes
something about a high
goes hand and hand with lows
how do i or you or them
decide what stays or goes
do we begin enveloped
with our fate enclosed
can we choose?
can we change?
is it worth the squeeze?
i stood up to life
it brought me to my knees

Heavy eyelids
Restless soul
The chase seems to have no end
Road to take determines
What’s around the bend
Circles have been etched
Deep into the mind
Round about once more
Habit has confined
Only I can save me
Only from myself
Few more miles this direction
Is my highway to hell

I didn’t do the dishes
Then I didn’t brush my teeth
Forgot to drain the tub
Stale water sat for weeks
I didnt take the trash out
Bags across the floor
Couldn’t bring myself to anything
Couldnt take it anymore
How *****
How disgusting
How ugly can you get
I’d rot out of existence
Just to get out of this mess

beautiful the different greys
each it’s own flavor of melancholy
delicious
my mouth waters to know their blues
hear their cries
feel their pain
to know we are the same

swiftly do the thoughts creep
steady is their pace
march along to hit chords wrong
unruly and disgraced
vile creatures tip toe
purpose all aligned
danger for my cuticles
poison for my mind