I know you are eager to see the sights,
the sounds and songs of fair Paris,
but trust me when I say Quebec
is just as wonderful and elegant.
I was born, and raised in that land,
learning much of all things grand,
from the peaks of Mount Royal,
to the art of Montreal Metro.
I learned of law and of order,
and to this day, I still enforce it so.
You know me as Chief of Police,
for this, I am widely renowned.
Yet, for all its glitz and grandeur,
and its modern beauty and glory,
there does exist a darker side to which
I must inform you in whole.
When you're visiting lovely Quebec,
and you're walking down Old Montreal,
keep an eye over your shoulder
for La Femme Folle du Montreal.
She's said to creep in the alleyways
and between the old cobbled streets,
snooping for curious tourists
on whom she leaves her mark.
When she spots a sucker she likes,
she greets them with a smile of white,
and beckons them to come closer,
and that is when the mad woman strikes.
She guts the poor souls like dogs,
cutting and slicing them till they're raw.
Once she's done her deed, she leaves in them
the sign: "La Femme Folle du Montreal".
The police have yet to find a lead,
that didn't end up like her victims, dead.
For though her crimes are grisly in nature,
beyond her sign, no evidence has been had.
Little do those silly idiots know the truth,
that she lurks among them, laughing,
her position and rank protecting her.
No one would suspect the Chief herself!