You left me alone, laying on the floor, tears streaming down my face, screaming at the ceiling asking why you left.
You called me on the phone, offering some comfort, and then you cried because I was screaming.
But you only told me I was right about everything I said, how sad that is.
Then I was flying high and feeling good alone on the roller coaster of life- screaming, but for once a good way.
Then, the first time a boy took me on dates and I started to feel, he left, and there I was again, not screaming but I wanted to.
I wanted to scream at you.
Blame you for the pain I feel, blame you for allowing me to be hurt by someone else because this wouldn’t have happened if you kept your promise, your vow.
And when a man touches my body and then leaves, taking a piece of me, I’m left screaming.
When I am unsure if I can trust any others, I am screaming.
When I am afraid to love again, I am screaming.
I wish I could call you or show up at your house and shove you and hit you and destroy you from the inside out.
Because that’s what you’ve done to me.
On the inside I am always.
Screaming.

I’ve convinced myself that you never really loved me.
I mean, how would with with how you treated me?
I’m also convinced that you never really wanted me the way you made it out to be.
You said the same things to her and her and probably her about their body.
How it made you want to do things,
How it was irresistible.
It makes me wonder if every time I made your leg quiver when I stroked you, and every time I made you gasp when I ****** you and every time I made you take your lords name in vein when I rode you, were you thinking of me?
Or behind those closed eyes were you thinking of D? Or M? Or someone else? Her? And her? And him? And them?
But even after convincing myself that you never loved me,there’s still one thing I can’t figure out.
How can someone treat me like that and use me like I’m a ******* rag to be thrown away and replace me like a doll but then look at me that way?
How can your eyes mirror mine?
Every time we locked eyes sitting in the car or in the park afterwards.
Every time you were inside me when we were together.
How could your eyes reflect back the love that mine held?
How can one make their eyes lie?