Last night I dreamt
With my eyes wide open
It’s becoming second nature now
As I sit all night and quietly mope ‘n
Think back through all the scenarios running through my head, of any wrongdoing
Please let me go to bed
My mind will not seize to stop
All these thoughts so vivid and bright
There’s no need to sleep now for it is broad daylight
Do I try to not lie and cry and wish to die
In my room that resembles pig sty, no of course not why? look me in the eye
What is it you see
Sadness city
it’s population, 3
The people that live there are,
I myself and me.

I’ll stop you right there
I’ve heard quite enough
I don’t like people who act all big and tough,
Because I know deep down you resent yourself and I can see why
If I was born and looked like you I’d surely just cry,
For the rest of my life

Or I’d do us all a favour and jump of a bridge,
You’re a heart attack waiting to happen,
You’ve eaten half the fridge
I detest
And despise
And I cover my eyes, to shield myself away from you and society why do you all behave this way
I’m not angry I’m dissappointed
Because this all could be avoided
If the world just listened to me, we would not have this problem
And as one dying planet we would live our last days in solemn

It saddens me too see you so low and so blue, for the person that made this happen, he never deserved you;

Your time or your smile, you deserve someone to care for you not someone so ******, not someone so vile

I hope to be the one, to make you forget your past trauma, for I whole heartedly
Pledge to never harm or ignore ya, the feeling I receive from knowing this is real,
I couldn’t envision someone more ideal

To make me a better version of myself, and with you by my side, I’ll forever have wealth and once the day comes, where we can flee to Pariś

We’ll grow old together, just you and me.
These words that are scribed, no lies they’re all true.

I hope you read this often, whenever you feel blue. For there is no doubt left in my mind that I am in love with you.

Days fly by
When one has nothing to do
I think back to a time, where in my spare time
I would be talking to you

About silly little things
That meant the world to me
Each little message
Had me smile with glee
I hope that one day, I’ll have that that feeling again
But for now I’ll write my feelings down with this paper and pen

I am disgusted at many a living thing
But a particular nuisance
Forces my head in the sling

You’re not special
I say with absolute assurance
When you post about your life
Understand it’s just an everyday occurrence
In everyone else’s and mine

I’ve given you a sign
And now I hope you’ll stop
Otherwise I’ll have to write other fearsome lines
That clean your being like a cheap mop

The girl with the dragon tattoo
Oh if only she knew,
The lengths that I would go to;
be all yours, forever

The girl with the dragon tattoo,
You know for what I say is true,
It’s hard for you to hear,
But believe when I tell you my dear,
That we could have something, that no one else could understand.
Please wont you take my hand.

Together we can lay, all night and all day,
As the record plays on repeat,
I say this with confidence, like I’ve known you all my life, but as you know we’re still yet to meet

So you know what to do, to ensure that me and you, share these next few years  together.
I’ll be waiting for you,
I’m still waiting for you

Waiting

For the girl with the dragon tattoo

I sit here in my chair at a house party
Not knowing anyone, and wishing to depart quickly

Home sweet home
That’s what they say
To be honest anywhere other than here
Would be heaven in some way

But now I stand, as applause beckon throughout
They expect a good performance,
Sadly I doubt

But I can coast on through
Like most things in my life
However there is option 2
I raise my chin and proceed to slit my throat with knife

Oh how quaint, what a way to bow out
Encore encore,
Sadly I doubt

I wave goodbye, for home I venture
For I never want to come again

I hope you all hang

Cry for help

Lock my self away for days on end
Right now I could really use a friend
To help me and nourish me
Back to good health

But yet still for I am ill and I want to end myself
But yet still I am ill don’t let me end myself

Choking on air
Oh how I despair
As people look and stare
As I trip down the stair
I wish they’d mind their own
I think to myself and express with a groan
Oh how things will be different, when I will rule them sat in my rightful throne

To perform as such
By command of Caesar
As the hand is raised
I know now I must please yuh

Don’t look so unimpressed
I’m rusty for I have not done this in a while
Just don’t let the jury adjourn me yet
As I currently stand on trial;

Period, I do beg your pardon
I never expected this from you
And I’ve seen the state of your garden

A pluck on ones heart strings, is comparative to that of a bass

A single secluded mellow twang, with ominous meaning and timbre

And onsomble of these vibrations can cause serious lasceraritions to the skin, as I palpate profusely until the overall  feel, is that of a discarded once fruitful orange peel.

Describe what is heard, go on I dare you to try, the low earthy tones produced can only make you cry

Try and be more upbeat, says the conductor with malice in his gesture,
For this is no game, this is not adventure
Stick to piece at hand, the paper adjacent to my thumb

We’re early on in this orchestral life tragedy, it’s barely even begun
Strike up a chord, tune those broken old strings. And below the true meaning of life, sing what must be sung. But if all else fails from a rope I shall be found hung

As i stand tarred and feathered
And my body is worn and weathered

I begin to understand, that the false premonitions of life presented,
Were what I never intended
To be apart of

As I stand tarred and feathered
And I lower my head to be severed

I don’t understand, why the dreams imagined in my sleep
Never came true
Could this be why I feel so blue?

And like the Afore mentioned colour
My skin turns a darker shade

For up my mind is made
As my life is taken,
Before the turn of a second decade

2:22
What the hell am I to do
I cannot sleep
I cannot wake
I channel an inner scream
How much more can I take?
Close my eyes once more
Did I surcome to peaceful slumber?
I lay in my pit and wonder
No not at all, this is becoming a chore
I look over at my clock, it reads
2:24

With my sleeping pattern abolished
And many a minute to piece together my failings once more
It further confirms that I adore you
I know this for sure

Minutes, yes both a pleasure and a burden, but they’re treasured none the less

For when I’m with you the minutes they fly by and I forget when my life was a crude mess

But time has caught up to me, for it flew by to fast and has caused the wings that have carried me away, to inevitably collapse.

Despite this all u catch me and cradle my head, for if I never met you I’d probably be.... yes it’s sad to think but often the truth is, a life so short but not worth living.

But yet you’re my healer, make me so happy no need to pretend. I do hope there will be no end.

That’s asking a lot, I don’t expect a reply

Just know that I want to try, to make sure that we can be together, just you and I

Knees grazed, eyes a dash
Standing there about to crash
Help me please, I don’t cry out
I’m not quite sure, what this is all about

My head hurts, uncontrolled plunder
When will it stop, I begin to wonder

The reflection in the water, is not what it’s cut out to be
The reflection in the puddle, is the one and true me

I don’t want to be
I don’t want to be

Let me be you

I want to be
I want to be

My dreams don’t come true

I don’t believe in the devil
But right now I would sell my soul for the chance of redemption
For that I have sinned, more than thrice
And the man staring back at me believes it’s time I paid the price

Any form of recognition or instantaneous gratification is what helps me rest my head, on this cold pillow that every night I dread. Time moving slowly I can only sit and laugh, for I have confessed to my wrong doings and i am on a new path

So with my head held high, I arise from cruel slumber, I roll the dice of life, I hope it’s my lucky number, alas it is not but no need to worry, oh I do hope this will end in a hurry.

It’s done, it’s finished, exit stage right
With all these pills I’ve consumed I won’t make it through the night,
But it’s okay
This is how it’s supposed to end, this next part felt like a god send,

For in my final few moments I lay there and revel, as I draw my last breath I realise...

I believe in the devil

I haven’t felt this way in some time
And yet my hopes are still crushed at a moments notice,
To wait this amount of time for nothing, I’m beginning to feel hopeless
The packet is empty, no need for forced medication and forced smile
As things at this moment seem I’ll be waiting even longer than a while

Oh what to do with myself with all this free time, sit in my own self pity or commit some form of crime
In my eyes I’ve already done the latter, and prime suspect is my dull chatter

I try my best I’m not gifted in this form of sport, but while my legs felt they were running, my heart has already been caught.

These words came to me, to help myself not feel so low
But ask me if I feel there’s any glimmer of hope, I answer the only way I know,
Oh?
No.

My ode to joy, happy as can be
I look at you and express only glee

In a world so cold full of emotion and pain
How do I possibly explain, that you fulfill me more ways than one

Impeccable timing to say the least, at a point so shallow, like the saddest grave you’ve taken me by the hand and shown me brighter days

Brighter weeks and further more, I don’t have to search deep down to know you’re who I adore

A door unlocked, for it was you who had the key, once it was opened it didn’t take long to see

My arms reach the heights above, when I hear your name, for I can openly express my intention of you, no need for shame

Not long now, for our spirits to once again align, and as I hold you close I know you’re all mine