I'll rearrange negative words
into positive phrases
amazed at all the
sorrow filled mason jars
that taste horrid

on borrowed patience..
i sift through an old spittoon
wet to the brim with thick goop
i get sick from the fumes

i face them
the demons i kept in my basement
a case of repressed hatred
my best kept secret

this evening
i was finally able to let go
unloading all that weight off my chest
then my unrest froze

dead in it's tracks
the belt snapped
and that old faceplate broke
releasing loaded emotions
from both my ventricles

it all detached from me
i watched and saw it floating free
i worried someone weak would
catch it though, unknowingly

like a cold
so i slowly sowed a sleeve around
posted a note that reads keep out
and proceeded to research alchemy

"how to transmutate
lead emotion into gold"
though nothing would hold
so i prayed and presto it decomposed

my tolerance for incompetence
is obviously under modulus
intense tensive stress pressed
upon me
it's no nominal anomaly.

insomniatic consequences collect
with compounding interest
astounding acts of disrespect
compress my lack of patience.

I'm barely present in the moment
often engrossed in intellectual opus
enough with the hocus pocus
this stone just won't produce water
it's hopeless.

open minds let locusts in
and closed ones pay the pope in sin
good folks cope with life
on the inside,
too shy to reveal
they know the solution.

this tea is bitter.
i may have bit off
more than i can chew.
a bit of rhinovirus, or other,
is more or less my invitation
to morgue.

by morning i may be adorned in plastic.
stuffed in a bag in mortuary.
a toe tag to keep me unique
amongst random John Doe's.

what'll my obituary read?
he died of poetry..
the kings of the world decided
this one needed to be silenced.

land **, i say..
i spy my old home.
from across a great ocean,
I'll arrive in the bay
and depart my boat.

my trusty old dinghy.

I'll fall to my knees
and kiss the sand,
promising to return again
to the violent seas
that repeatedly
wash me ashore.

i remember this place
from a long, long time before.

it's as gorgeous as i remember..

..

.

i wrote a poem
full of low blows and
stone throws

hits below the belt
in the name of help like
I'm the hero

but I'm not the hero here
when i stoop to that level
i spoke in their tongue
with a song sung
to slight the devil

I'm sorry
i apologize
that's not the guy I'd like to be

i got carried away some
by the momentum of
sought inspiration freed

my creativity has no patience sometimes
i just go with the flow and
follow the first phrase that rhymes

i find myself obsessing over
ways to intertwine them
I'd take a taser to the spine
if it meant I'd find that next line

here i go again
letting go of it
cuz it just keeps flowing in
like the spigot handle broke off
jeez man,
am i just a show off?

i saw the results of an amateur study claiming to measure which religion cares the most about the homeless by the amount of money dropped into a variety of bowls with each religion labeled and laid out in front of a beggar.

i propose that money is not an accurate measurement of caring in this situation.  the following points could also be applied to raising children and/or running our education system... here is my argument:

----------

money is not the most accurate measure of caring in this situation.

for example, if a child has not yet learned to walk, and you want the child to walk (you care) you have these options:

1. use money to pay someone to manipulate the child's legs or build an expensive apparatus that performs the task of walking for the child

2. use knowledge and training to encourage the child to familiarize themselves with the mechanics of walking.

3. do nothing, just observe.

each method may have a different result..

1. the child walks, although this stops when the manipulator stops.  this is a solution, although the child probably didn't learn anything. he may have made a new friend, but he is dependent on that friend... payments must be made perpetually to achieve the goal we care about.. alot of money is needed to maintain this type of caring... it may never end because skills may never be learned.

2. the child struggles. the child gets frustrated. the child gets motivated to overcome the frustration. the child's learns how to follow instructions.  eventually the child acclimates himself to the mechanics of walking. the child walks.  the goal we care about is achieved. we no longer have to concern ourselves with the goal in any way, shape, or form.

3.  the child struggles.  the child gets frustrated.  the child gets motivated to overcome the frustration.  the child either falls into desperation and gives up or learns how to be innovative and resourceful.. discovering the mechanics of walking by trial and error.

scenario 1
the throw money at it scenario may be the most commonly accepted form of caring, although it is often the worst at achieving the goals we care about.

scenario 2
the structured training scenario can be good at achieving the goals we care about, although there could still be a level of dependency here if/when new problems are encountered that aren't covered by the training.

scenario 3
the hands off scenario has both the greatest and the worst potential.  the goals we care about may be achieved or the subject may be lost entirely.  if the goals are achieved, the subject is likely to be very prepared to take on any new or unexpected problems encountered.

the most appropriate approach may be in the form of a combination of scenario 2 and scenario 3...  providing knowledge/training to overcome a problem only when the subject is leaning towards desperation/giving up... one must determine, however, whether the subject that has given up can be remotivated.

so you see, lack of monetary donation does not equate to a lack of caring.  and i do realize that "training" involves money although it's not money put directly in a beggars bowl.

the measurement depicted seems to be more of an inverse representation of the wisdom and problem solving capabilities of the average followers of said groups

We might be unsightly
Inside but we're mighty

We may be in pain but we
Paint scenes with writings

We're paving the way
Through these days that are frightening

We're likening the race
to a game of infighting

Those like me are seen as they seem

Though one season we're nice
And others we're mean
Our cyclical minds are
Insightful with dreams
But disdainful of those
Who keep plotting their schemes

At times we're suspicious
When we shouldn't be
unjustly cry "witches"!
And dispense sentencing

We must temper our tempers
And our pent up paranoia
Instead of the judgement we spread
Let's Spread Love

i need something new to be proud of
for pride is fleeting, it doesn't last
the Buddha would say to lose the desire for it
turn away and let it pass

but consumerism won't have it
they'd rather i covet my neighbors goods
and above, the Divine stays silent
making me choose what i think i should

the thorny crown is the work of madmen
and the ****** weapon became sacred somehow
they say demons fear it, won't go near it
but I'd think they'd celebrate that now

I'd rather not focus on death
desperately trying to find some magic meaning
we should instead focus on life
and what we can learn from sacred teachings

others obsess with demolitions
easily offended and militaristic
the result is an endless conflict
what is wrong with all these religions?

Lord, something needs to set us straight
have you a new saint or prophet to send our way?
would we even be receptive
or would we **** him just the same?

please tell me there is hope for us
oh "Lord of holy hosts"
please tell us you're compassionate
and your "armies" are a hoax.

I've failed you Lord
I've failed you time and time again
how is it you keep finding it
in your heart
to forgive me?

I'm worthless Lord
I'm always finding ways
to remind you
yet still, you look upon me
as if I belong
amongst your favorites.

i don't see the man you see
please tell me, where is he?
and why does this reflection
seem so deceiving?

why do you still love me?

i kissed a girl
lipstick smeared from here to
the spear edge of the world

itching to curl up with you
cozy with tunes, smelling your
scent in curly cues

i moved in with a girl
passion lapsed then came back
in the cyclical style of God

alot of compromises and laughs
tamed our minds, molded and
made us unified at last

i married a girl
spoken vows composed with
power, prose, and love devout

we bought a house
came close to thrown in towels
but worked it out

we made a boy
the greatest joy we've attained
up to this point, of course

now all our previous
complaints seem so
lame and unimportant

life is art I'm told
so here we paint our broad strokes for
happy house, hearth, heart and home

I'm in love with the moon
and the light that shines through
to mine eyes
it's Divine, if i might
behold it's golden delight

a monsoon
of soothing surrogate photons
traveling through a moat
of pure emptiness

it's brilliant

have i mentioned I'm in love with the moon?

the amount of time, money, and effort you're putting into this is stupid
don't act like you care about us all
you're just full grown men
who can't stand to not be in control

dictating other people's lives
deciding others rights and wrongs
claiming to be the strong arm
of our long lost God

but you're not
maybe you don't know
but i think you do
you're just using the idea
to incite fear inside few

your days are clearly numbered
waves of thunderstorms
have you torn asunder

you're in your last throws
go ahead silence me, it won't be over
I'm just one pawn in the plot
when gone, the Lord'll make more

and more fiery than before
I'll reincarnate in a new form
you may get parlayed for a time
but find that pulled greys grow back in fours.

purple a hue,
to give like lovers do
with resonance
and presence of being

pondering freedom
our teetering dream
can it be saved
while we cave in to safety?

annihilate the wicked
confine me in the thick of it
I'm sick of it
just pick them off
to pause is ridiculous

it seems inevitable anyway
with populations poised to prey
upon those scapegoats
we point at and blame
when we're afraid that
they're all bad since they look the same

at least I'll be on the winning team
then maybe we'll all lay down
our swords and live in peace
for i can't breathe anymore
with this bickering.

the slogan to keep the voters at ease
guilty until proven deceased

here, on the surface of air,
i rest against a substance
that manages to wet my soul.

something tugs and i bob into it.
though I'm quickly ******
right back out as the grip loosens.

an introduction to a terrifying upheaval of what is known and familiar.

another world I've seen there
a place that the words I've chosen
simply can't describe
in mere comparative prose.

what vault of pages holds the phrases
we'd hope could explain and conceptualize that space?

what language contains an account of the things I've seen?

it was then, with ego in shreds,
existentially threatened
and backed into a corner with dread,

having been revealed of
that which exists
and that which does not

that I realized...

This is all we've got ..

The illusion built around us
is but a pack of Lincoln Logs®

We are not yet living
and we're already dead.

And in this, our plot reserved for building Heaven,
we've been so blind as to construct ourselves a hell instead.

now the teachings make more sense,
in this new light ..
as does our tendency
to misunderstand them.

We deserve the world
that we build for others.
Not the one that we build for ourselves
with vainglory in the name of our God.

Hocus pocus
Rescind the locusts
Contact was made
Through an American waif

Pardon the lawlessness
Wait out the immorality
A seed has been sprouted
A soul has been saved

The tears of an angel
Have catalysed a connection
Have given momentum
To a new wave of change

We see it now spreading
With steady undulations
Exponentially growing
Reverentially laid

With trespasses forgiven
And atonements amassed
That old apocalyptic
Execution is stayed

Behemoth in the bodhi tree
Pay no mind
Just don't be weak

A lemon with a known disease
Pay no mind
It's one of three

Career entrapped with no degree
Pay no mind
It's only me

Haven't got a rosary
Pay no mind
Your soul's the key

The bodhi tree
The bodhi tree
Is all we see.

To all those who have known
Someone close to them
Who had arranged their own exit
I know of the bag you carry

The what ifs and if so's
Hang heavy on the soul, I know
They're always there
tucked in the folds close by

You'll try to recreate that night
From inside their shoes
What was going through their mind
You may wonder if they thought of you

Was there something we could have done
To change the outcome that came to be?
Why didn't we see it coming?
Why didn't he reach out to me?

Maybe it was the direct result of
Something I did or said
What acts could I have taken back?
What texts could be misread?

The questions that you're left with
Their answers never will be received
That lump impossible to swallow
A burden never to see relief

If it's you out on that ledge
I hope you think to step away
There is likely someone out there
Who will miss you everyday

i am happy
i am sad
when I'm angry
i am mad

i am lonely
I'm content
I'm a misguided
continent

If I were an island
in the sea
I'd have no reason
to compete

but i am hungry
belly breached
I've had my fill of
what I've seen

I'm outspoken
shy as can be
I've been broken
entirely complete

i am helpful
can't be reached
a subject of
my Majesty

i am bored
excitably
you are what I'm
supposed to read

"i like turtles"
"apparently"
full disclosure of
originality

i am thankful
rude indeed
appreciating
ungratefully

I'm distorted
static free
I'm the poem that
ghostwrote me

i see seasons change and
societies decay
the mighty fall deranged
when sobriety is pain

i observe so much hate
and become afraid
i fear a new low
has been attained

no, this wont be read
in grade school books
they'll read about crooks
and Twitter accounts

operated off the cuff
from a colorless house
a mountain of bullying
less the toll that it took

I'm hoping this is just a
pessimistic outlook
and the corrosive composure
we now face goes kaput

i hope the pendulum will swing
back to our roots
when compassionate folks
fought hard to unhook

our subservient status
to oppressive regimes
that abhorred a free voice
and forced religious beliefs

who repressed the sciences
and denied discoveries
those that taxed the masses
to keep the elite appeased.

it seems the cycle has come
full circle again
let's hope the system is built
for a fix from within.

I'll keep faith

dumbfounded and
quite numb now
shot gun shells litter
the ground of a
parking garage

a collage of gruesome
scenery obscene
I've been made sick

some false guru's
montage, look how
thick it's been laid on

disturbing visual imagery
a trail of those
claimed victim

a painting on the wall
composed of spittle
mixed with human remains

this one tried (to be Godly)
but it was not to his liking
this one was caught hiding flaws
weaknesses that he exposed

that one died
but no one heard
within the confines
of a poetry site
his relatives were just
left wondering why

his room has been kept the same
bed unmade since the day he left us
clothing strewn about in disarray
similar to how he felt I'm sure.

we could have saved him
it's not ok
it will never be ok
we should have saved him
God, I pray
but it will never be ok again..

it's just a phase..
this face that i must fake..
yes, the cake is a lie..
that only you and i recognize.

i am a scar..
though i ask of you, look hard..
for the compartments left departed
are only vacancies of an exhausted heart.

i have issues deep in tissues..
ink stains in the pink flesh I've misused.
a subtle twitch in this left eyelid..
reminiscent of where I've been.

my aim, to wipe a slate clean,
and further, to electrify like lightning,
hydrates a sane mindscape..
that I've made my end game.

so please, go easy on me.
i needn't reload those leavened loaves.
I'll leave it be 'till kingdom come.
just watch and you'll see, I'll overcome.

just dare me to go barreling
into life like a stunt man's staircase.
I'll take the risks even if it means splints
as long as it benefits those around me.

this planet has
problems
but I've got a drinking
solution
everywhere i look there's
nuisances
though i perceive them as a
challenge

this planet has
solutions
but I've got a drinking
problem
everywhere i look there's
challenges
though i perceive them as a
nuisance

I'm in need of a reboot
brain off and on again
I'm aware of the waning
i can see it plain as you

my attempts at poetic stints
attest that I'm spent
i need some rest and maybe splints
to fix my broken talons

i feel talentless currently
I'm surely unbalanced
if prowess was a currency
I'd be financially challenged

I fail to bow when i encounter powers
i pale in comparison to
my pathetic dispensing of word spam
is worse than mental mince meat

and although from what I've displayed
I'm a bit ashamed and embarrassed
I'm still not done yet
still feel compelled to fill wells
with ink from a quill

and you can bet that
no ill conceived notions
will go unspoken
I'm broken
but there's hope yet I'm hoping
my mind is so open

I'm not stuck here moping
I'm building momentum
clawing out of this rut
my pent up mental frustration
is draining out
and being replaced with
meaningful phrases
with crazy rhyme schemes

I'm finding more and more
that my complacency is shying away
and by the light of grace
I'm absorbed by a new
mindscape reformed
I'm team Lord
but don't read too much more into it
I don't commit to conviction
i am well aware of my ignorance

that's why i withhold judgements
religions not meant to draw blood with
I'm all done with hypocrisy
that forced philosophy is shocking

we've all got our own ideas
and matters of course
although towards the same end we forge
for it's the same thing we're all
fumbling for

let there be light.

If i asked a question
would anyone here answer it?

starting to wonder if posting here is pointless.

---
edit: the lack of comments confirms my concern.. there seems to be no sense of community or brotherhood here.. and no decent system to promote it.. not sure if I'll continue in this forum.. unless we can brainstorm some solutions together

this is my
new masterpiece
how was it received?
i ask you please

a poem focused
on itself and all
the comments i
count as wealth

all is well
upon this page
i gage my worth
by what you say

i may lack what you
call self esteem
but dream in
technicolor scenes

part of me i
found deep down
is narcissistic or
a clown

the other part just
wants to help
for wisdom's worthless
on a shelf

i do not write this
just for me
I write to support
my ideology

my trials and attempts
to appeal to reason
fall on deaf ears if
no one sees them

under a weeping willow
with just a pillow, i sleep
with the stars so far away
yet still bright for eyes to see

a breeze blows from the East
on the leaves, dew settles
and a few mellow butterflies
flutter by me

so peaceful a setting
i see a fire fly light show
a sight for sore eyes
deep into the night they glow

form another idea.

express another concern.

we'll have a
difference of opinion in the
fullest sense of the word.

forget how much we've been saving.

don't second guess what we've spent.

the cost is lost in the lessons that we
show for in the end.

some people call it the present,

and others call it a curse,

but we can
all agree that our time here
..isn't extracurricular.

Paint the Earth
And the moon
Give it texture
A random monsoon

Make a baby
Take a breath
Sit back, let chance
Control the rest

Carve a basin
River beds
Give emotion
As a test

Beast of burden
Wild to tame
By intellectualizing brain

...Just hold it in your *****
with a wish of end delights...

...Or tear it all to pieces if it dies...

a hundred different ways
to throw the chemicals off,
but all you need to know
it's an ephemeral cause.
and even if you're ready
you'll be caught off guard

like cameras
capturing you blink.

for no one is invincible
from visceral law.
emotions can imprison
with invisible bars.
it's hard but you should know
that we can live with our scars.

we'll be paroled
and free.

a hundred different ways
for us to relieve the pain.
each one of them effective
or at least not in vain.
a closet full of skeletons
will take you all day

but will be worth
the WAIT!

and so i hope that you can cope
with what you don't want to feel.
it's easy to concede it
but it's hard when it's real.
our heart's will harden
like a callous, starting to heal.

SO JUST PUMICE IT ALL AWAY!!!

OK?

you're **** right he is a war hero just because he was captured.
he was there.
he took the risks.
he was captured and imprisoned in the line of selfless duty for his country.
how does that NOT make him a war hero?
To suggest otherwise is disgustingly disrespectful to service members and America itself.
what is wrong with this guy?
and why do so many turn a blind eye to this gross malfeasance?
wake up people!
it's ok to admit that he's not perfect.
even if you stand by his platform,
it serves you well to admit when his rough edges are out of line.  otherwise you cloud the logic of any good points you may have.
Just be human.  be real.. This man has absolutely no diplomacy skills whatsoever.
a skill that is absolutely required for the job.
Go ahead and hate me for expressing my views if you want to.  My choices during these times are either depression or anger..  
I'll wax and wane through each until these new dark ages are over.
you're just going to have to deal with it in your own way, just as I am.  it is what it is...

even when i have a strong opinion about something
it does not mean that i believe that the government should force that opinion on others.
matters of opinion should almost never be forced on others

i say almost never because the definition of opinion can vary.
if your opinion infringes upon the rights of another, the opinion in opposition to that should very well be forced upon you by a governing body.

Remember that the US Constitution does not "give" you any rights at all.  Rather, it is set up to prevent the government from infringing on a set of rights that are understood as being intrinsic to natural law.. These God given rights exist on their own accord, regardless of any man-made Constitution.  The Founders set forth with intent to limit the government, not to define gracious allowances for it's subjects.

These rights are non-negotiable!

"My God" he said.
"My God, why have you forsaken me?"

oh how the human condition
clouds the spirit deep within.

such pain and suffering
are distractions
absolutely unignorable

it is known,
it is understood,
it is forgiven..

those that suffer most
hear the inner call the least
they that need the most
are all but left deceased

let me share your burden, brother
that yoke upon your bothered shoulders
let me help your mind be still
so the light behind your window sill
can shine through

and with thorny crown removed
let us meditate
so as to fade that stained glass
allowing pure,
unfiltered rays to penetrate
unadulterated
uncorrupted
unrelayed

straight into the depths of your precious heart.

nobody reads poetry
only me, or so it seems
solemnly I'm sowing dreams
in columns, reaching over eaves

for I've new peaks to reach
a few more deep breaths to breathe
so that even in duress i keep well kempt
and form steadfast beliefs

easy path foregoing
i am soldiering past the average unknown
it's hard to reach ones soul
beneath the depths of the
stacked up stress we hold

so with all laid out and so boldly released
all told, withholding no secret unseens
plainly, i seek only gold in a stream
of consciousness, sifting through
thoughts for a dream

some inkling of a twinkling light
a time-space continuum conceptualized
that eye widening mental nugget defined
like the precious metals we steadily mine

for that raw ore when forged
forms the ornaments you see
displayed on a bland page
so shiny and clean

a tiny charm to remind us of our
ark of timeless art
so the heart we feel deprived of
arrives to gulp from the fountain
that founded life's spark.

my angel is disheartened
tired of fruitless labors
my angel is at best depressed
confessing neglected favors

my angel rests his head down
forehead pressed to elbow pit
my angel shed his last tear
last year
and hasn't wept one since

my angel has my sympathy
for what we thought could be
my angel ran our errands with honor
we simply dreamt too big

my angel cares so deeply
all of my faults he calls his own heavy weight
my angel and me
as headstrong as we
in a world we failed to save.

is it weird that i
fear my government
more than laymen
thugs and hooligans?

is it strange that i
feel my statements
make me a target
for marksmen agents?

some folks with white collars
or a rogue devoted follower
could show up and open fire
to throw opposing views
on the funeral pyre

do or die, the alt right white
some crazy guy
who's blindly semper fi
what of **** Germany
remember that?
have we all gone mad?

I'll remain faithful
only to the gracious and wise

what makes people think there is but only one path to the Divine?
are there not trees of oak, maple, and pine?

And though branches and leaves be unique,
do they not all reach towards the sky?