I've failed you Lord
I've failed you time and time again
how is it you keep finding it
in your heart
to forgive me?

I'm worthless Lord
I'm always finding ways
to remind you
yet still, you look upon me
as if I belong
amongst your favorites.

i don't see the man you see
please tell me, where is he?
and why does this reflection
seem so deceiving?

why do you still love me?

my angel is disheartened
tired of fruitless labors
my angel is at best depressed
confessing neglected favors

my angel rests his head down
forehead pressed to elbow pit
my angel shed his last tear
last year
and hasn't wept one since

my angel has my sympathy
for what we thought could be
my angel ran our errands with honor
we simply dreamt too big

my angel cares so deeply
all of my faults he calls his own heavy weight
my angel and me
as headstrong as we
in a world we failed to save.

nobody reads poetry
only me, or so it seems
solemnly I'm sowing dreams
in columns, reaching over eaves

for I've new peaks to reach
a few more deep breaths to breathe
so that even in duress i keep well kempt
and form steadfast beliefs

easy path foregoing
i am soldiering past the average unknown
it's hard to reach ones soul
beneath the depths of the
stacked up stress we hold

so with all laid out and so boldly released
all told, withholding no secret unseens
plainly, i seek only gold in a stream
of consciousness, sifting through
thoughts for a dream

some inkling of a twinkling light
a time-space continuum conceptualized
that eye widening mental nugget defined
like the precious metals we steadily mine

for that raw ore when forged
forms the ornaments you see
displayed on a bland page
so shiny and clean

a tiny charm to remind us of our
ark of timeless art
so the heart we feel deprived of
arrives to gulp from the fountain
that founded life's spark.

is it weird that i
fear my government
more than laymen
thugs and hooligans?

is it strange that i
feel my statements
make me a target
for marksmen agents?

some folks with white collars
or a rogue devoted follower
could show up and open fire
to throw opposing views
on the funeral pyre

do or die, the alt right white
some crazy guy
who's blindly semper fi
what of **** Germany
remember that?
have we all gone mad?

I'll remain faithful
only to the gracious and wise

this tea is bitter.
i may have bit off
more than i can chew.
a bit of rhinovirus, or other,
is more or less my invitation
to morgue.

by morning i may be adorned in plastic.
stuffed in a bag in mortuary.
a toe tag to keep me unique
amongst random John Doe's.

what'll my obituary read?
he died of poetry..
the kings of the world decided
this one needed to be silenced.

land **, i say..
i spy my old home.
from across a great ocean,
I'll arrive in the bay
and depart my boat.

my trusty old dinghy.

I'll fall to my knees
and kiss the sand,
promising to return again
to the violent seas
that repeatedly
wash me ashore.

i remember this place
from a long, long time before.

it's as gorgeous as i remember..

..

.

the amount of time, money, and effort you're putting into this is stupid
don't act like you care about us all
you're just full grown men
who can't stand to not be in control

dictating other people's lives
deciding others rights and wrongs
claiming to be the strong arm
of our long lost God

but you're not
maybe you don't know
but i think you do
you're just using the idea
to incite fear inside few

your days are clearly numbered
waves of thunderstorms
have you torn asunder

you're in your last throws
go ahead silence me, it won't be over
I'm just one pawn in the plot
when gone, the Lord'll make more

and more fiery than before
I'll reincarnate in a new form
you may get parlayed for a time
but find that pulled greys grow back in fours.

If i asked a question
would anyone here answer it?

starting to wonder if posting here is pointless.

---
edit: the lack of comments confirms my concern.. there seems to be no sense of community or brotherhood here.. and no decent system to promote it.. not sure if I'll continue in this forum.. unless we can brainstorm some solutions together