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Sag Jun 2018
I'm not much of a woman anymore
sometimes just a corpse lying in the dark while the sound of video games drown out my thoughts
sometimes I laugh with my teeth showing
sometimes
I want to be whole for you
to remind you why you fell in love with those shoe laces in the first place
to remind you how pretty I can be dressed up in lace
but those were the days before we had to be quiet
before I lost the words to say and the will to speak
Sag Feb 2018
hand on your shoulders
dark curls get caught in my fingers
eye contact used to make me nervous
in the dark it makes me smile
want to pluck the strings of your soul
find out what you’re made of
what you sound like
in the darkness
swaying to the voices
swirling in the ballroom
singing me to sleep
Found this in my drafts and wondered why I never posted it
Here’s a goodie
Sag Jan 2018
in dreams we hold hands like we know better this time but the lines in our palms will never change
I have to keep reminding myself of that
Sag Dec 2017
We can't ever snap on beat
We started drinking chianti
I've been having beautiful dreams
And today snow filled our Louisiana streets
We're on the upbeat of swings
And there are people I want to meet
and things I want to see
"And miles to go before I sleep"
And love to give before I leave
Sag Nov 2017
What's the point of keeping on?
A few glasses of wine will open up your eyes sometimes
It did mine.
I used to believe the dark days would dim my life for decades, and it did for two of them. After that, I started to see the light.
The light in everything,
In people around me, in their sheepish smiles when they push their buggees past me,
and their drunk texts at 2am when they're up way past their bed time and sleep is singing their favorite soothing tunes, Yet the story in their minds is too specialized to pass up
Like if I don't say it now it will expire and lose its significance in the morning
and that significance is significant
Enough to keep me up past my bed time

The smell of wine at night and coffee in the morning to cure the hangover
The headaches hurt but the memories make me feel alive

The spontaneous conversations that occur every three years when you run into an old friend and thoughts spill like the drinks when you've had too much

Mimosas in the morning and toast with peanut butter and bananas

Alcohol makes living a little easier to be frank

But apart from that

The sound of piano keys is magical
And the sunsets are enough to keep me alive at least for the next few hours

The potential of falling in love, the opportunity to travel the world, to hear Crane Your Neck for the first time again, in a different set of notes

The feeling of fingers through your hair and a plate made for you of your favorite Italian food
And the plate washed because you're tired from the wine
That's what I live for

And if you don't have these reasons yet
You will soon
You will someday
You have to believe that
M
Sag Sep 2017
part of me hated the kids who called me a lesbian before I knew I was one, part of me applauded them for seeing beneath the surface when I couldn’t
they turned the light on before my eyes could adjust and I turned it off just as quick before I knew it made sense
Sag Aug 2017
I'm not afraid to throw away the past few years for the sake of the next
I'll never truly know how I feel or how you do
or if the choice I made was the best
Sometimes it's so easy to say those words in my head
All I know is sometimes I know I won't settle for less
Other times I just deal with what I got handed
and hope you don't feel the same way
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