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Cindy Baldwin Apr 2020
It's an honest deception 
That swallows us whole -
Calling us to ground
With stilled hand and grieving bone,
And in the sun,
Blue eyes split with gold -
In firefight,
Framed by pitch and madness.
Your smooth, curving vines
Burn in beats of quiet,
Galaxies between your words.
Call me nothing
But a name that pleases -
Blood, anguish, hero -
I'm not the savior you need -
Only the one you've got.
Worn scar-thin -
The exact moment 
I'm dragged down and redeemed,
We choose our breath
As a world looks on in silence.
Cindy Baldwin Sep 2019
We find relief in fire,
And everything rises in the darkness -
That reckless intensity
Pulling us darker and darker down.
That boneless white rush -
It's almost everything,
And we settle like dust -
Bells at midnight.
We drive until the land ends,
And walk into the water.
Burning bright
Beneath the firmament,
We are transformed -
There exists no language,
Solid in the earth,
To record our gospel.
Here are the skins of the gods,
And we are witnessing
The birth of stars.
Cindy Baldwin Jan 2020
We are ragged at every corner,
Languid and worn through
Like something made of
Unending heat -
The stuff of legend.
Burn bright, bright -
Our breath returning
And committed to flame,
Memorizing ash and smoke.
We are encased in our history,
Kneeling in earth
And the sky forming above us -
Pressing stories into our skin.
Burning and haunted,
We belong here in between words -
Bitten back and swallowed whole,
And I know the curve of your spine
Like the back of my own hand.
We are blood-sealed -
Still water underneath
The wave that leaves us wrecked,
And you are something else entirely -
A new religion,
Pillars of bone and soul,
The first word and the first sigh -
Love me.
We are spiraling across raw desert,
No urgency of force,
And I am sea-deep
And burning at your side,
Drifting in that quiet catch
Between breaths -
The sun and the moon standing still
Over Gibeon and Aijalon.
What builds will also tear down,
And we dream-walk toward the edge -
Marked, changed,
Primitive nerves - nocturnal creatures,
The weight of worlds,
And it goes on.
We are lost, but not blind,
And even here,
We'll stand our ground.
Cindy Baldwin Mar 2020
This is older than sea and sky,
Shape without form,
Sinking in and spreading out -
Until we feel.
We hear it across miles and miles,
Sharing breath and need
As we forge something
Stronger than death.
We are scars and grace,
Waves swelling under
Our drifting fingers.
We know what it means to fall,
Creeping over the earth we crafted,
Sin trembling over hollow words -
Hollow bones,
Dancing under mountain spine
And bleeding moon -
For we are the children of stardust,
Fashioned from magic
Older than blood and marrow,
And we do not bow.
There is no place -
No temple for us but everywhere,
And we have always been more,
The world beneath our mighty boots.
But what can build up
Can also tear down -
Swimming with stars,
You're mine to save,
And we rise to our feet - remade.
Cindy Baldwin Apr 2020
Time passes,
And we are worn down by it -
Rich earth and burning night
All around us,
And eyes shut tight.
Stories told in silence,
Shadows pulsing on skin - remembering-
We know this path by heart,
In the valley of the river -
And time presses in 
With suffocating heat.
Bruised and torn,
We grasp for purchase.
Swift and soundless, we rise -
And we are full of reckless fire,
Blazing hearts and each word burning -
Seething over bones
And pulling warmth back under our skin.
We move as we please,
Graceful indeed -
Blue eyes tearing apart the darkness,
Sparks shooting across the empty sky,
Bourne wild on the night air -
Light spreading out,
And we watch - ordinary men -
The darkest and the most dangerous,
And the rhythm we cannot hear,
We feel in our bones instead,
Leaving memories like boot prints -
Scars in the dim light of another day,
The light breaking as it has done
For thousands of years,
World without end, 
And we cast our lot with gods.
The sky is magnificently clear.
Cindy Baldwin Jun 2019
April sank its teeth in 
And wouldn't let go -
Marrow deep -
That bone-break kick
And shaking apart from the inside.
The sharp swell of fire in the blood,
Sweet and hot and alive - 
Sunburn hot and choke-point tight,
Aftershocks skating across raw nerve.
But time inevitably 
Collects its dues from us all,
And this is all I've ever wanted -
Warm, smokey laughter
And blue eyes that have never played fair -
There is no world outside this room,
And we know this dance -
That boom-swell of wicked.
Our blood sings,
And I could die of it -
Your fingers leaving flames where they touch
And choosing this kind of wrecked.
Everything tips sideways
With the kind of force that wakes spirits,
And I follow -
Wanting.
The sky stretches by hours over the earth,
And none of it matters like it should.
The way you draw it out - one stitch at a time -
And I can't catch my breath.
Fireworks and honey - 
And a sweet burn on the tongue
That hangs like a fog and sifts into pieces
With every breath we take -
Coming apart in a series of exhales
That taste like your name - 
And I return,
Chasing the way you speak.
We petition gods & saints -
Any distance between us is too much,
Consuming us like a riptide,
Gripping with fingers that can no longer feel.
That delirious afterburn,
The sun like a brilliant, sweltering heart,
And what good is warmth we cannot feel?
Give me another sip from your smile,
And let's watch our hell catch fire.
Cindy Baldwin Sep 2019
There is absolution
In the curve of your shoulder-
The ecstasy of grief and longing
And the places we once belonged.
It's never as easy as the things you say.
It goes too deep right now -
A shadow in living skin,
And darker things so rare
That we do not name them.
All will build, finish and fall,
Dripping warm and static.
Press harder -
Maybe it doesn't mean anything
If we can't see it happening.
No time to dream -
Light bleeds through the cracks
Until our hands are clean -
Our refuge and renewal.
We shine and seek to mend,
And with no wind to steal our words,
We claim them and render them pure.
Cindy Baldwin Sep 2019
The sun settles down dark -
Dragging us back toward
The line of demarcation,
And you close your eyes
Against what you might imagine,
Searching for a way to become solid.
There is an art to mending wounds,
And I can't see
Where you're stitched together.
We seek refuge in the spaces
Between leaving and returning;
There is no forward motion,
And we are anchored here -
The distance between points narrowing
Until the edges burn and collapse,
And we don't miss it anymore;
Everything that isn't gone forever
Is right here.
We hold on as long as we can,
Pushing past barriers of flesh and bone,
Capturing the colors of longing
Before they fade -
Suspended between what is real
And what is yet to come,
And the air is too thick to breathe.
This purifying burn
Echoing in your blood
And written on your soul -
Solid warmth and sleep without dreaming;
The world in motion,
As if we never stopped at all.
Cindy Baldwin Dec 2019
We are worn from the inside out,
Warmth and solidity at our backs
And your light at my feet.
We feel it like fingers under our skin -
Tired bones and songs we've never heard.
Waiting, trusting -
Scars and another day ending.
We desire dark roads
And night air on sunburns,
Peace - we never even wanted good.
The last sunrise of a dying man -
We know this song,
And we soak up poison -
Wishful thinking sending tremors into graves.
We've always known.
Where is my light?
Shine.
Cindy Baldwin Nov 2019
We hold candles and a sense of place,
Drinking down words
Painted and ground into our flesh -
The last remains of fire and smoke
Burning our hands like an old friend.
We are worn from the inside out,
Shedding dreams and heat -
Sweet words-
Your story still fresh on my skin.
Silver moon and serpentine galaxies
Wrap around us like honey
And the spoiled husk of the serpent,
Catching our image in frost
And holding it -
Stars like spilled gold and lightning -
Remember.
We need something
Beautiful about us.
Cindy Baldwin Jun 2019
We are flawed, wrecked,
Mere threads away from ripping apart.
Tell me one last time -
But your jaw won't form real words.
We are moving too quickly,
And this moment is more than content alone.
Casting shadows stranger than the rest,
We wake in moonlight.
Your sigh sinks and falls,
Landing softly at our feet
And encompassing us like a galaxy.
You are an explosion without momentum,
And bless you - you're like trying to touch fire -
I feel ordained by my attempt.
Something cracks and something rises,
The ghosts return and become
Living, breathing bodies again,
Breath hitching like earthquakes and thunder.
It's too loud, it's too much,
Like being underwater for too long -
We're choking on air.
Honey molasses and blooming flowers -
It's in our blood and we're immortal,
Voices like fairy bells.
We are gods and men,
***** angels -
Holy in the wickedest possible way.
Do you believe in fate?
The turn of your eyes speaks the truth -
Cracks it wide open,
And it looks like this.
It's the wrong question, but it feels right -
Talk me down from my high;
It doesn't taste as good as the rest.
Maybe we're forgiven - 
Who knows what will happen?
Isn't this enough?
We don't speak - let go, let go -
Let go of holding on too tightly,
And this hurts so bad,
It feels remarkably good.
We're going down.
Come, this way -
Tonight is for us -
It's our god ****** hour of need.
Again and again- and for the last time now,
We just are.
Cindy Baldwin Jun 2019
The last of the sun's light
Streaks the sky like ultraviolet,
And everything burns away in an instant -
The smooth planes of your back
Lit up like a fire in the wind -
Faint points of pressure.
We are ghosts,
Clinging to a past we can't leave behind,
And the walls are closing in.
The night slides in,
Drawing the moon down over the mountains
And settling with the bite of acid,
Taking a deeper turn.
A moment of stillness,
And a shiver crawls up a spine
And over the edge of the breath we give up,
And we want -
Pressed under the weight 
Of words and promises;
Miles of beautiful words pressed into our skin.
We are breathless, 
And part of a world that's ours -
Utopia. Silence. 
The burn, the warm, the numb -
Real and tangible and pulsing.
Our words hang in the air between us,
Seeping into each other like relevant dreams.
Our fates sealed and brought forth,
We claim each other idols.
The solemnity that slows our blood
Explodes in the night sky,
And it's a beautiful sound -
Shadow's swift departure - cut, release.
Did it burn like this before?
Gripping to anchor,
We trace moonlight in darkness.
It's hard, and it's real, 
And it's a weight we know in every particular;
A compass spinning in every direction,
A wire sparking in the blood.
It's a clear night- no clouds -
And we can see the stars.
Cindy Baldwin Sep 2019
We see in angles and shadows -
Blistered and hollow eyed,
And this feels like escape.
You sculpted me, carved a groove in me,
And hurt that never
Found it's way into your light.
Breath like an electric current -
Arch-drag, and touching like claws.
We can't watch this burn down,
And we can't look away.
Hard and dark -
There is no softness here, no safety.
It's ash on our altar of stone and wind,
And it tastes like fire and dust -
A bruised and aching dream
Testament to the broken beats -
Wonderfully bitter.
This is the only offering we have left,
And it will never be enough.
Hush - don't tell a soul -
These are the things we carry,
And these are the things we keep.
Cindy Baldwin Sep 2019
We fall into it without resistance -
Reflecting in brilliant blue,
And I am made of words.
Time passes in stops and starts,
And we reshape ourselves -
Tracing lines that bleed
And living alongside Death;
Liquid blindness - suspended, bleeding,
Waiting for something that never comes.
Still falling,
I'm dreaming of a long highway -
Breathing in your touch
And driving until all the lights are gone.
Let's go East.
And we never needed anything
Like we needed this pain -
Blame the nights
We couldn't handle the dark.
Is this what it felt like before?
Voices soft like serpents -
A prayer we don't know
Which way to send.
Brutal and perfect,
It's the last thing I'll ever do for you.
All around us like air,
It gives us grace -
And makes way for something greater.
Cindy Baldwin Oct 2019
This is older than sea and sky,
Shape without form,
Sinking in and spreading out -
Until we feel.
We hear it across miles and miles,
Sharing breath and need
As we forge something 
Stronger than death.
We are scars and grace,
Waves swelling under 
Our drifting fingers.
We know what it means to fall,
Creeping over the earth we crafted,
Sin trembling over hollow words -
Hollow bones,
Dancing under mountain spine
And bleeding moon -
For we are the children of stardust,
Fashioned from magic
Older than blood and marrow,
And we do not bow.
There is no place -
No temple for us but everywhere,
And we have always been more,
The world beneath our mighty boots.
But what can build up
Can also tear down -
Swimming among stars, 
You're mine to save,
And we rise to our feet - remade.
Cindy Baldwin Nov 2019
No living man can be
Wiser than the dead;
We are the sins of our histories -
The revelation that we bear
Weary and cracked like old stone,
Spoken in the only tongue
We've left ourselves.
We consume what we love,
And we don't feel it when it's gone -
Roaming temples
And wine-dark chambers,
Fire and blood baked into our bones
And dancing on our skin
Like Melusine in Avalon.
We are full of ashes and regret;
****** and blessed -
The beginning and the end
Dragged across burning black
And the sun climbing down the sky.
And you - transformed
To be held against my breast.
Caged and tamed for the hunt,
We taste like our heroes -
Like another memory
Spilling over the dry earth,
And we could sleep for years
If we could close our eyes.
The air hangs warm and clear;
A new world in our wake -
And we will bring each other home,
Like we did when we were young.

— The End —