I don't know how to feel.
With her gone.
I know she's coming back soon
Within the week
But I don't know how to feel

She has depression.
For the last three months
Suicidal thoughts
We hope that was it.

The day she left for the hospital
I cried for 6 hours
I got to talk to her, through text.
But it wasn't enough.
I didn't even get to see her

She told me not to lash out,
That it wasn't my fault.
But how isn't it?

I didn't notice anything different about her for the past three months.

I truly don't know how to feel.
She's been gone for four days now.
At the very earliest, she'll get out four days from now.

Every time I find myself enjoying anything,
I think about her. What she is feeling.
Whatever I'm doing loses its attraction.

I can't eat but one meal a day. Even then it tastes disgusting.
I force myself to eat because I have to stay strong.
For her.

I can't talk to her. I can't visit, text, email, or call.
I can write her notes though,
but she can't write any back.
I don't actually know if she even receives the notes.

I've barely been able to make it through work.
The last thing I want to do is to talk to people.
But that's my job. For 8 hours a day. Talk to people.

I want her to be okay. I will be here for her no matter how long it takes.
She's the love of my life.
I can't imagine living without her.

But I have to go on
She will come back
She will be okay
I don't know how long it will take
I don't know if anything will be the same
But I have to be here for her. I have to

Every day since she's been gone, I've cried for hours and cried myself to sleep.
Hell, as I'm writing this, I'm crying and choking up.
I don't know how to feel.
It feels like it's my fault she has depression, but I know it's not.

I don't know how the hell to feel.
I've felt more emotions in less than a week than I have in my lifetime.
I feel alone
But I know I'm not.

She will eventually come back. She might not be the same, but I'll still love her.
I have to go to school.
Normally we talk to each other in between each class.
Normally she drives me to and from school.
But not for a while.

I don't really know how to function.
I sit in my room staring at a white wall.
I look at my phone with facebook pulled up on it, and I just want to throw it.
I don't want to do anything.
I don't want to move.

I truly don't know how I'm supposed to feel.

But nobody can tell you how to feel.
Because nobody else knows how to feel.

You asked me why I love you
The reasons that I fell
These may be dumb, or cheesy
But I am here to tell

I love the way you smile at me
With your lips curved up ever so
I love the way you laugh with me
I need to let you know

I love the way you look at me
With a universe in your eyes
I love the way you pull me close
Before we say goodbye

I love the way you sing to me
When we are riding in the car
Whatever song ever comes on
You look like a superstar

I love the way you love me
When you run your hands through my hair
In all the lands if I had to choose
You would be the most fair

I love the way you make me feel
When you compliment me so
And when you drop me off at home
I never want to go

Whenever I do card tricks
I see the wonder in your eyes
And if I do one good enough
The time just really flies

We've been together for half a year
We may be filled with fear
Of whatever the future holds
But no matter what, we'll get through any tears

Everybody knows today's figures.
Lincoln Park. Kanye West. Beyonce.
Musicians. Artists. They are all praised in today’s society.
But nobody knows the names of people who actually matter.

Willis Carrier. Invented the air conditioner.
Nobody knows his name.

Robert E. Kahn. Made the internet.
Nobody knows his name.

The problem with today’s society
Is that the minds of young people are being poisoned.
By the schools who leave things out of textbooks.
By the people on the street, screaming their views.
The riots, the protests, the hell of today.
Poisoning the minds of young people.

Reed Hastings. Marc Randolph. Nobody knows them
Yet millions of people use Netflix.

SalvinoD'Armate. Nobody knows his name.
Yet over 4 BILLION people wear eyeglasses.

Young people today hate history.
They think, “Why do we need to learn about dead people?”
George Santayana once said:
“Those who cannot remember the past, are condemned to repeat it.”
We learn these things, not to be bored in history class.
Not to just **** time in the day.
But to inspire. To help young people to become creative, more innovative.

Imagine a world, where Alexander Bell never made the telephone.
Imagine a world, where the internet, just wasn’t a thing.
Imagine a world, where nobody invented new things.

William Higginbotham. I Guarantee that nobody in this room knows his name.
He created the very first video game, Tennis for Two, in 1958.
Without him, we would not have the games we have today.
Assassin’s Creed. Grand Theft Auto. Call of Duty.
People play these games, and use the other things I’ve listed every single day,
And they use them without any thought, or appreciation for where they came from.
Or how far we have progressed as humans.

So I ask you this. Who invented the desk you are sitting on?
Who invented the jacket you’re wearing?
Who invented that pen in your pocket?
You don’t know, do you?

My Love

Every time I see you, my love for you grows stronger
I never want you to leave my side, we'll be together longer
Every time I see you smile
My heart just leaps a mile
My love for you will forever grow
My heart beats for you, in thunder or snow
In summer or winter, fall or spring
Looking at you, makes my heart sing
We're going to grow old,
40, 50, 60 years down the line
My heart forever sold
You really are divine

I will love you forever, until the end of time
I just know we will spend all that time together
I love you so much. More than I think I will ever be able to express in this lifetime