Why have u left me all cold and lonely
All tired and grumpy
Why have u left me all alone in this bed?

My mind is alert and screaming
My eyes watching the time go by
Why have you left me and not said goodbye

My body is calling and crying out for you
Tonight was meant to be a special night
Why did you choose tonight to forsake me

Oh sweet sleep!!!!
My sweet sweet sleep!!!
Why have thou forsaken me??

If you know the things I do
The things I do for You
You know love makes the wisest man a fool
And a fool I shall be.. For You

I look at you and  wonder ..
I think of you and ponder of a when
I remember you and it seems it's grown fonder
I then realise i keep yearning for the yonder

I want and wish
I can't help but miss
I know it's what it is
I just feel , maybe what if

Sometimes i feel like it's a possibility
Then it becomes a maybe
Other times it's a never
Or could it be a foerever??
Am i lossing my sanity??????

I wonder..

I’m slipping
I’m sliding
I can’t get up

I’m falling
I’m  drowning
It’s swallowing me up

I’m sinking
I’m dying
I can’t make it stop

I’m fading
I’m ending
I’m not strong enough

I’m crying
I’m begging
I need it to stop

I’m exhausted
I’m gasping
I’m running out of hope..

I need help
I need it to stop

I need a restart button
I need a new bus stop

I need a new beginning
I need this now to end

I need it to stop killing me
I need to find a new start or for this to end...

For the first time ever
Since the day i was born...
I am truly and completely
NAKED...

Hmmm..
It feels weird
And oddly humbling
This is me- NAKED

I am finally looking at myself
In my true image
The way i was originally made

NAKED....

Turn on All of the Lights!!! ...
I am coming .. A force so strong
Feel the power...
See me shining bright!!

Turn up the lights ..
Turn them up extra bright..
Head held high..
Watch me fly..

Turn on the light!!!
Hear me expolde through..
You'll go blind with my shine
Yea.. I am coming through..

Turn on all the Lights!!!.
I want u to see this, all of this
As i soar higher..
This gal is on

So exhausted
Sick to the marrow
I wish to be whole
No illness nor pain tomorrow

I wish I could sleep
Be put in a coma
And then be rebooted
And it’ll all be over

I’m drained
in so much pain
I’m fading
There’s nothing left to gain....

I’m exhausted...

It hurts..
It hurts so bad..
When u r ther
But im yet so alone

Each time I say..
It's different this time..
It would be great. Come what may.
But in the end.. U r the same
Like everyone else.. Guess I'll be fine

I ask myself why..
It's me I guess..not u
I should be fine
I would let it go.. Not of just u

I would be ok
I am ok
It's all ok..
Guess I'll be fine..

Come to me
Let urself go ..u say
I would catch u
Have no fear.. U say

I stand tranfixed
My entire being in a fix
A great turmoil twirls in me
Fear,hope, pain, trust.
To mention a few, thrown in the mix

Should I let go
And come to u
Should turn around
And run the other way

should I believe u
Would u catch me
Would u leave me
Are u for me

All u say is..
Let it all go
Come to me
U r safe
U r mine...

So u say..

2020-
I asked you when I first met you,
I implored you when we first said Hi
I was excited to finally see you

I asked - please be nice
I implored you - please be kind
Excited- please let it be great

But instead:
You almost killed me thrice
You made me loose my social life
You caused me to almost loose it all

You where not nice
You where not kind
You made it far from great...

But despite it all:
I’m still alive
I’m still standing tall
I’m still here
I’m stil going strong
I did fall.. but I’m up
And giving it my all...

2020... You won’t be forgotten
              You won’t be missed
              You thought us lots
               Though we had such loss

Lets say our goodbyes
I’m not going to cry
Can’t wait for the end
Let’s please not be friends...

Don’t let the door hit you on the way out😒

O sweet slumber where art thou
My sweet respite, y have you forsaken me..
I need your warm embrace..
Wrapped in your dreams..
I need the softness of your silence...
The peace of your weightlessness..

My succor, come back to me..
Please don't leave me..
Where did the attraction go
When did u decide that i was to be alone
Why did the love wane
My rest come and lay with me..

O sweet slumber, pls remember
I would always need you
I am nothing without you
O sweet sleep where art thou????

High on pain
Extra high on pain meds
Extremely drowsy on sleeping meds

I am so restless
I am so dizzy
I am drowsy

But I can’t lie down and sleep
I’m walking around like a drunken sheep
I’m nuts and i know that .. yep I’m deep

So what do i do?
I blast afro beats
And dance and stagger and move

I may be down but I won’t drown
I may be in excruciating pain
But I’m not going to whine or wail

**** this pain tho
It’s you and me
We are going to dance this dance  as a duo

A mixture  of Pain, tears and drugs
A lovely combo we are
A unique trio , thats how we go

My pain , meds and me....

I want to cudde!!!
I want to feel your arms around me!!!
I want to touch you !!!!
I need to kiss you!!!!
I want see you!!
I need to feel you beside and inside me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I miss you incredibly 😔💕

You walked right in
And my heart missed a few beats..
Time stood still..
The air froze cold..

You smiled..
And my knees went weak..
Where is the bold me
I've gone so meek

You embraced me..
It felt so good
I sunk into your warmth
I needed nothing else

And then you left me
U left your fragrance all over me
Your smell filling me..
Your essence.. Enveloping me..

You walked off
You went with a part of me
You left a part of you
I think I've gone too deep

You have imprinted on me
I am engulfed by you
Now where does me begin
And where do you end?

But there u go
Walking away..
farther away
Or are you walking back in????

Oh Chris
Oh how i miss
The taste of your lips
The caress of your fingertips

My sweetheart
Heal my aching and lonely heart
How it yearns ...
Longs for your love...
And cries for your touch...
To caress and make still, this longing and weeping heart

My love
My one and only love
Time and distance keep us apart
I crave for strength and pray for patience,
though it’s very hard..
As i await  the day i can touch the face
And be held in the arms of the man I love..
and we shall never part..

Oh how I can’t wait for that day..
The day I am with...
My man.. My love...
😁🙈💕

I’m so overwhelmed and glad to feel the sun, rain and wind on my face..
To hear the birds in the air
The insects in the grass..

It was almost all lost to me..
It was almost all gone
Almost all taken from me

Things we take for granted till we can’t have them no more
Love, laughter, strength , family and friendship ..

I’m eternally grateful to feel..
To be given another chance
And this time it’s much more real

All of this and much more-
Again-
a second or is it a 3rd chance?

I’m just grateful...