I’ve been feeling quite uninspired lately
I guess I have nothing much to say
I can’t even blame the absence of my muse
Since I’m the one staying away
The right to be called an artist
I somehow feel is no longer my own
I continue to push people away
And complain that I’m alone
But honestly, I feel most comfortable when I’m by myself
I feel free from all the expectations that society has of me,
Of all these ideas and opinions of who I am and who I’m supposed to be
Free to be me
And honestly it’s deeply saddening to know that,
There is a part of you lying dormant
A part of you that you need,
A part that was once second nature, an impulse,
Something so deeply embedded in you that you don’t even remember,
Exactly when it got there
Something that was as much a part of you like that it came like breathing air
Something; I’m afraid may no longer be there
-(cj)

What are you doing now
Are you happy
Does she make you feel loved
Does she look at you the way I do
Does she take care of you
Does she even care for you
Was she really worth it?
... for your sake I hope so
-(cj)

It's far easier to not to see a problem than to deal with one
It's far simpler to avoid you than to have to feel my heart straining against my chest
Much easier to not worry about you
For me to leave my mind at rest
To pretend not feel the squeeze of their laughters alongside yours
To act as though my insecurities don't sting when in truth it burns
These feelings I fear will never reach your ears
And since they don't show I guess you'll never know
...unless
-(cj)