I was trying to add weight but when you told me you didn’t like fat girls I didn’t want to any longer,
So I subjected my self to an unhealthy amount of hunger.
I lost so much weight you could see my ribs,
Just to keep someone I didn’t have to begin with.

I was ready to give up so much for you because I thought I was in love,
But you tossed me to the curb as soon as push came to shove.
I was foolish to believe anyone would actually like me in that way,
After all it all ends the same at the end of the day.
Each time it happens my brain refuses to learn,
it just allows my scars to heal then right back to burn.

I wish one of the days I get broken so much that it teaches me a lesson,
because even in my delusional state I know you don’t like me and that was how I define depressing.
I hope one day you hurt me so much that it hurts you,
that day we’d both learn a moral about self lies and how to speak the truth

I’m trying to get over him but I can’t  shake away his perfume,
What I once found as a sweet fragrance has become a toxic fume.
I remember his face in any tall person I see,
It was almost as if it was holy matrimony.
I turn away, avoiding his street,
Fearful of the emotions that his presence would greet.

What’s the cause of this thing called love,
Wasn’t a mild attraction enough,
Wanting to be admired force to be the admirer,
Is any one looking for an over active heart? I have one you could hire.
These feelings have got me in gun point fear,
it made me wonder how could I love someone who wouldn’t even care.

I know that I am not destined to be alone,
Why do I then always fall for guys who would prefer to let me die in the friend zone.
All these concerns round my head like the ***** in a pin ball machine,
They go all, “you’re not pretty enough”, “ you’ll never be seen”
My mom had always told me I was smart, beautiful and unique,
but that was just her, I had to face the rest of the worlds critique

All these concerns weaken my head,
Why’s it gone dark?
****, I think I’m dead

I must be the problem, I know it’s true,
Because the same way I fell in love with him, I fell in love with you.
I fell in love with the thought that you may love me back,
I fell in love with the way I thought you’d help me get my life back on track.
I fell in love with those little compliments that would light up my city,
I fell in love with the fact that you made me believe I was pretty.

I fell in love with the way I thought your spirit was free,
I fell in love we the fact I though that one day you’d get down on one knee.
You’re both similar you know,
the way I listens to your Ay yoo.
You both abused those words
You both abused the word “I like you”
When in fact that was far from the truth.

You couldn’t get away faster from me,
which makes me wonder what made me so unworthy.
Was it the fact that I loved too hard every chance I get,
or was it the fact that I’d do anything for you, like give you my umbrella though I know I’d get wet.

I know it’s my fault for having the emotions to love you at all,
I should just give in and build a wall,
around my heart which increase its beat whenever you’re near,
not like if I ever told you, you’d care.

I fell in love with the people I thought were the only people I thought could love me, which was you,
but no, that was wrong too.

We could talk for hours on end each day,
I guess that’s what made me believe you felt the same way.
Well that and every act of kindness you showed me,
I guess looks aren’t the only thing that can be deceiving.

I watched as you walked by Atleast you spare me a glance,
For me it was more than that, it left me in a trance.
It happened so fast it had to be beginners luck,
Until I realized Cupid had one arrow left and unfortunately I was the one struck.

It didn’t take much time to realize you weren’t “the one”
but who IS “the one”
where is “the one”
What’s taking “the one so long”
I’m tired waiting and lying to myself I’m strong.

Don’t misquote me I don’t need a man to exist,
but it wouldn’t be bad either to finally be the first on someone’s list.
Would I continue to let myself believe I am truly wanted,
All in the name of “what if he left me cause I relented?”

A shower of disdain
I felt insane
I no longer controlled what was going on in my brain
Is this what it felt like, the power to be drawn,
Only to hear he was moving on,
It was like uno to him, I hope he had fun cause when he reversed, I was realized we were never each other’s “the one”