Kids, have I told you how I met your mother,
It was a day just like any other,
I found love without even trying,
The first time I saw her she was downing ***** whilst crying,
We got talking and I said "Look at the time,"
And six drinks later she was back at mine,
I went to record the Game of Thrones I had missed,
Then did the deed while she was still ******,
I took some creative license and told her I was ripped,
But, unfortunately, so was the ****** and then the romance slipped,
My head was spinning when I heard the word positive,
I didn't want to help, exactly the opposite,
But I cared for her through the darkness and gloom,
Until I was left in the waiting room,
The doctor walked in and spoke "It's a boy,"
My body could barely contain the joy,
I walked in and her face smiled
I looked down and saw the child,
I held him in my arms with my hand on his back,
"Honey, if we're both white, then why's this baby black,"

When the sun rises on the still sleeping town,
The crimson light of dawn creeping over the hills,
Like a fire waking up the shadows,
Wispy innocent clouds meandering in the pale blue sky,
The shouts of kids playing in the streets,
The songs of birds and the buzzing of lawnmowers,
Creating a gentle orchestra of noises,
people going about their day,
Spending the sun with friends or loved ones,
And me,

In my room furiously ******* whilst crying,