The day has ended
Another day
Another chance
Gone down the drain
Every moment is a possibility
A blessing
A promise
So who am I to do nothing with it
Maybe tomorrow
I say to myself
But it'll just be another day

I hide my face in my mask

And close my eyes slightly

Just enough to only have my eyelashes in vision

They remind me of my femininity

I feel iv lost sight of it recently

The cool February breeze blesses my ears and face

The mask won't protect me, but I don't mind

It's not warm, but completely depleted of the harsh numbness it had given my fingers yesterday

It feels comforting, but weirdly hollow

I feel a moment of bliss

Then pull my mask down to the bridge of my nose and finish my test

I smell my mom's hair, trying to memorize her warmth

I shed tears for a moment that hasn't come and feel loss for a person I haven't lost yet

I write down my grandparents' words, learning their wisdom so their knowledge won't die with them

Planning and hurrying for a day that doesn't exist yet

I recite my dad's words, Thinking of how much I'll miss them, How much they mean to me

I day dream of sitting at a grave

I prepare myself for the sadness to come, hoping the tears I shed now will lessen the ones to fall later

But all I can imagine when I sit at that grave, is wondering why I spent that time mourning instead of laughing with them

My Nana told me once, you could have 100 years with someone and you still wouldn't be ready for them to leave

I think I'll cry even harder when that day comes

And my memories of them will be sorrow