All I can remember is the look that you didn't have in your eyes that day.
The cold sea breeze whistled in and out of our slack-jawed mouths and lungs as we both stood and stared.
Deep into the reflection of ourselves.
You, a reflection of me and everything I now find robbed.
Me, the minutes, months, and years.
What were you thinking?
What cogs turned while you watched and waited in the chilled grey.
The wooden planks beneath our feet creaked and wept and seagulls cried into the absent minded surf.
Sending out shrill stabs across the waves that passed underneath our feet.
While I looked at you
And you stared back at me.
Grizzly is the wound of my reflection.
That beauty could turn into these rite angles and chalked corners.
I took a breath and your eyes met mine as you waited to hear what words were to be converted.
I could have said anything.
But that day I chose the truth for the first time in years.
And you stared at me.
I looked at you.
And all I could see was the stranger of my reflection.
I left the pier that day with a cold wind in my heart.
I was alone and shelled.
But I was human again.
Seagulls and sea-breeze
My witness.

The outsider of I am
Lays inside my ribs and trembles around terror
Lashing out with interpretation
Symbols and casts of memory
Dances for you
Makes your eyes grow bigger
Looking deeper
And deeper
Into the falsified feelings of fracture
That entertain you so
The disconnected stranger
I am
The unmapped dismay of futuristic undesired
I am
Relapsing into chasms pinned up by pillars of anything
Other than what I had
Or wanted
From you

Sweetheart,
I'm afraid to say the you have gone salty.
Where elegance once stood proud
Pillars of law and metal now tower.
Where sunshine once danced
Dust and routine now bark and sneer.
The tears of kangaroos fill trenches and hearts alike.
But don't worry.
I'm still here.
Like the prisms on the other side
I'm bound to bend
And break
For you.

Destroy me
With the frayed paintbrushes on your lids
Sun-baked and worn
Tanned and full of shame
Recreate me
With the forked tounge you master
Conducting orchestral chaos
On the inside of my skull
While I watch, and cry, from over here
On the pooper.

When wombs
Smell of smoke
And people talk of change
Some would say
I hope not.

Casting shadows upon shadows

Enamel against iron

Fighting fire with freedom

And lighting the way back with fire fought

Somber blankets of humid humility

Will lay me down with heavy lids

Until the time comes

To war again.

I often think of all the good times we had
some of them not even half bad
if it was up to me
we would be whole again

there was something in the cards that night
that in the end just felt right
some say it was meant to be
others disagree

hope to see  you again
only if its just for a little while

we can be whole again
i kinda believe it will be true
because you always suprised me out of the blue