Never will I find you
The one that will be true
Never will I hold again
They always go to other men
Never care for a soul
All it does is make a hole
Never will love come my way
Slowly dying every day

I want to be the reason someone
can laugh and smile
I want to be the reason someone
walks a mile
I want someone to wake up
to every day
I want someone who knows
what to say
I want some place I can feel
at peace
I want my body and mind to
feel some release

I show very few who I am
Normally I'm as tight as a clam
But when I open to those few
People dont know what to do
Two right now know me
Who haven't run from what they see
One is my brother only half blood
One is a friend who deal with my crud
Both are the dearest friends to me
I want them here for eternity

Stillness in my thoughts
As my body just rots
Stillness in my brain
Makes me feel like I'm insane
Stillness in what I do
Cause it stops me thinking if you
The only thing inside
Is something I must hide
To myself I must be true
For every thought is of you
I cannot lose you in my life
It would only cause me strife
So stillness I must be
Till you can see me

As time stretches on you will see
That I miss you being with me
Your all I think about night and day
My brain won't let you fade away
Its more then a friendship that I feel
Our souls are connected from head to heel
I've never felt this way before
It's like you opened up the door
With you the numb goes away
My time with you was treasured everyday
If friends with you is all I can get
Then at least my heart will stay lit

Connect with me in this sea of life
An open ocean of pain and strife
Come with me in this forest of dreams
The magic and mystery in its streams
Lay with me in this star lit night
The beauty it shows is quite a sight
Play with me in these hills of snow
The smiles and laughs we will show
Kiss me in this pouring rain
Warming our hearts from this pain

So many voices in my head
Always feeling a sense of dread
Save me from my head
Come cuddle with me in bed
Hold me close so no one can see
What's really inside of me
Alone I slowly go insane
Cause inside me theres only pain
Save me from the pain I feel
Make me feel like I am real
Make me open up all of me
But you will be the only one who See's

Alone I stand
alone I'll stay
just like every other day
Friends are gone
girls don't stay
That has always been the way
Chain my heart
Chain my hate
For that is my only fate
Someone come
unchain me now
My only thought is when and how

I torture myself. I love the torture. Torture consoles me. Me as the body. Me as the soul. Me as my blood. Blood so sweet. Blood of my lips. Lips to teeth. teeth to bite. Bite to taste. Taste the rush. Rush of pleasure.