pa doesn't act much like a human anymore. when he speaks it's as if he is barking at something that isn't there. like he got buisness to fix. badly. his lips don't creep into a smile like they used to now their cracked as if his aging is wrong--he never smiles with his lips anymore either now he's just mad pa all the time. in his left hand he holds a gun. that gun doesn't belong there i whisper sometimes ma's hip belongs there.

he's gone

i have come to realize i ain't got my cheery pa no more. now i have a grump pa. i have a pa who kills animals like it ain't got nothing to come back to. i got a pa who acts like ain't nobody worth his old smile anymore. not even me

i'm used to it now. i stopped staring at his face while he tears into the beef he cooked, looking for a smile to appear somewhere just for a quick moment. but then i remembered he only smiled for ma, his smile that was ingraved in my mind wasn't for me it was for ma. and ma is six feet under and so is dad's smile he created just for her.

he's gone

a guy came by today
and it sounded like he had
rust growing on his voice
he told me he had
twenty years of
this town boiling in his blood
and mommy gave him a pack of beers
and with his old cowboy walk
and tiny little toothpick
he left

In my
Neon Death
You held your gun to my head
And your finger rested on the trigger
And your intoxicated thoughts lingered
In the sober air within us
And the sinking sanity beneath us
Began to sink in the sea of our thoughts
And then my harmless bullets of words
were left in the silent of mind
Since you click the trigger
*And the golden bullet came flying out