Why Don’t I Know What I Know Now, Then?

Why don’t I know what I know now then?
If I had known it, what would have changed?
What would have turned?

Would the wind have shifted,
or the earth beneath me cracked open sooner?
Would my steps have faltered,
or found firmer ground?

If I had known,
would I have walked straighter,
or would the knowing
have bent me differently?

Would I have spoken,
or swallowed the words all the same?
Would I have reached for the flame,
or let the fire fade?

But I did not know,
and so I moved as I did,
stood as I stood,
broke where I broke ..
and somehow, still,
I am here.

Now knowing.

Would it have mattered then?
Or only now,
when the knowing is too late to change,
but just in time to understand?

A thread of wonder weaves through my mind,
As I ponder the what-ifs, the paths left uncharted
What if this life had unfolded elsewhere?
Would love have found me, or would hate have been there?

Would peace have been my companion, or would it have fled?
The questions swirl, like autumn leaves on a windy thread.
Yet, in this moment, I am here, not there.

Sometimes

I forget to

Differentiate

Between

Them and

Me simply

Because

I'm not

Sure who

They really

See....

- Cas

If you stop,
You will find,
Who I am,
Deep inside.
Whatever it is,
Is a mystery,
Because nobody knows,
Not even me.
My tongue is tied,
And even if I speak,
No one ever listens,
But I can't shut my big beak.
It's hard to stay quiet,
It's hard to shut up,
When your mind is bursting,
For I cannot help,
But erupt.