I am something I don’t understand.
Still, I fight to understand it.
If I don’t understand myself,
how could you ever do it?
Would you even try?

I need us to talk.
Why can’t we just understand each other?
Why don’t you listen to me?
Why do you avoid it?

Listen to me.
I need balance.
I feel out of your reach,
because of your ego with no landing.

Why do you avoid it?
I know you’re scared.
But that doesn’t give you the right
to dismiss what I feel.

I’m scared too.
Still, I would listen to you
a hundred times, without regret.
I’m capable of drowning in my own feelings
just to make your fears shine.

Why do I feel like you wouldn’t drown for me,
when I’d give my life for you?
Because my eyes only shine
when they’re looking at you.
If you’re not here,
there’s no reason to survive.

I’ll survive in flesh and bone,
but if you’re gone,
my soul will die for it.

So even if you’re hurting me,
I’d still **** if someone tried to hurt you.
Because no one will ever harm you
while I’m still here.

I hate seeing myself
more than knowing myself.
My chest aches
from seeing me too much.
My tears don’t fall anymore.

Why do I feel so insufficient?
F*ck… this hurts.
I have to hide
before this gets revealed.

It’s rare for me
to speak of the pain inside me.
It hurts to know
there’s something wrong with me.

I want to leave this place.
Why did I leave?
Why did I break?

I look up
and stop thinking of me.
And I just start writing.

I write words that hurt to say,
but not to write.
They slip from your mind
without you noticing.

Do I have talent?
I don’t know,
and I don’t want to.
I write what I feel
so no one ever sees it.

And if they do,
just know
these are my feelings,
not my knowledge.

“It’s easier to say it”—
that’s what they say
without living it.
How ignorant they are
without feeling it.

I don’t seek attention,
because this is a situation,
not an action.

I don’t care about your opinion.
This is all about disposition.
If you don’t have it,
you’ll never understand
what “seeking attention” really is.

Ignorant—
that’s what they are.
And that’s why
they can’t see the vision.