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What I’ve Learned

Today, the mind meld is
spewing the kava of
my thoughts over
this place where I live.

Metaphorically.

I”veI learned

That I am egotistical.
That my vocabulary
   is DIFFICULT.

The years of myself.
The coffee, and the
   conversation,
   reading.

The dialectics, like coffee
and cigarettes, the years
over writing, revisions.
Books, sometimes 2 a day.
The Great Gatsby in an
afternoon

I Was not unusual.

There are more things
in Heaven and Earth
Horatio...

But I digress.
The Dead


They waft through.
The end brushes their faces.
Reminiscent of
leaves blown against
vegetable skin.  The
landscape soaks with,
saturates with, this
growing out of season.  
Weeds rise from the inside,
and like vines, scale interior
walls, crumble stone, hiding
in the cracks while rooting
for the breast of destruction.


Lives are spread out.
Spilled flowers, and at
the last it all lay written
across the years when the
pulsing, fecund ending, still
in pieces was unfolding
in the weeds.


You don’t know nuthin’ folks.
They wait like children who
know exactly when to get into
locked gardens the mothers
left for a minute for
groceries or shopping, for
a cocktail, meaning to return,
only to linger over the
afternoon.

If you gasp folks in the
second before reality finds
you counting your blessings,
you never looked them in
the face, never saw the
wind part the sky in front
of them, never touched the
ivy stuffing the holes,
where the sadness milks into.


Go home, the dead have
already bloomed.  You can’t
find them in the landscape
of their ends if you have
to ask.  You never knew that
Death which, on the ground,

blows around our faces.


Waits.







5. 14.92

Revised 7.25.24

Beloit Poetry Journal  rejected 7/14/91
The Limberlost Review rejected 8/15/92
The Little Magazine rejected 1/23/93
Tomorrow the lights will go
Out
is all.

The bulb, a soft
corrosion in the end.
Only tomorrow will recur
A million light years,
over a future
unaccomplished.

The glow  is
Un normal.
Love Extinguished.

So u will have to be
Unloosed from the
alphabet. Ink in
space

dissolves.

The unrestrictions
of a love pledged
like Smoke and
Mirrors. The dusk
of
of Unknowing

spills.

The land of whispers,
of imagined Summer's

doesn't
exist.

Ever
.

Caroline Shank
7.25.24
Only small things, a moment,
a book title, the minutes
it costs to think of you.

The ends of conversation,
served, a chip of being.
The loosed love,

hovers.

A savory
is refused.

The empty glass
a refill.

Tomorrow is left
out of me.

It lies like the last
syllable

of my shriveled
lexicon.

I am unraveled and
like thought itself
I go

away

from even the

thought

of you.


Caroline Shank
7.19.2024
Happy Birthday

My son is brave, kind
and good.

He slid into the light,
caught by uncertainty.
Out of the Dim and
Quiet he marched the
one thousand days.

Mute mother and crying.
Exhaustion.
Life was always in the
next room.

My son reached for the
barre of imagination.,
Cries of indignation.
The room reverbated.

Music of my youth in
his mouth. He ******
the flowers.  The walls

folded around him in
a swaddlle embrace.

Lordy lord the past of
my anthology cries.

Birthday is to Kevin
as life is joy to me.


Caroline Shank
7.19.2024
Sometimes

Sometimes I just sit. Wading
thru thoughts.  The cells
of my future
capture
the nonloves of mythical
proportion

I have clocks all over
the walls.  We tic
together.
White sheet rock,
flat line.  Everyone’s
story is coded in the
cells.

The walls are
dry. I see names
Scri+++ names.
Thought comes and
GOs.

Tomorrow will slide over
me in an ecstasy of

feeding.

I will sit and count the
days until my sorry

***

goes….. .



Caroline Shank
7.17.2024
Beware!

The air reflects me.
I circle the bright
light of you.
Undulating slowly.
I am the
stare that praises.
The hum you
hear is the splash of my
approach.  I will love you with
the palms of my hands,
like fins,
barely brushing your face.
I soothe your possibilities with
possibilities of my own.

The soft forest of your
unbelievable skin is before my
eyes and I am a girl dancing
in soft clouds.
All you ever saw
in the secret interiors of fantasy.

I swim through you, in and out
of breathing.  Watch for me.  I live
to love in you the sounds of you
whispering my name in rasping
syllables.

I  linger like tomorrow.


Caroline Shank
Posted to AP 3 MOS ago
Today is 10.23.19
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