chased by
a cold rain
a summer storm
a haunting dream
it flew on

its tired wings
grew heavier
more tired
every gust of wind
like a brick wall
against it

until it came
to rest
upon a branch

the storm raged still
but there was shelter

every raindrop, a tear
the howling wind,
a cry

louder and louder
until there was nothing else

then
there
a tiny spot of hope
yes, the glorious sun
peeking through

tired it was
still, strong
and when the sun rose

the butterfly flew once more

It hurt. I wanted to hide my
face and crawl back into
this shell that hide the beautiful
parts of me. All those insecurities
took a hold of me and tried
to convince me love isn’t meant
for me.

Part me didn’t want to eat
after you told the only truth that
could truly hurt me. It was first
time I felt all eyes starting back
at me judging me like I thought
they use to be. All stand up and
look at this freak.

I doubted everything I ever
was would be good enough since
the truth is the only thing
people saw in me was skin deep
and should just shut up and
know my place on totem pole
the freak of the show.

Until I realized it would be your
lost in the end. I’d change for me
and never look at any of you the
same again because you looked
away instead of within.

Up, rise, stepping out
breathing in, breathing out
the crispness of the in between
summer's fall greetings
shortened days, yet long enough
for daylight pleasures
still standing colorful blooms
garden harvests awaiting
early leave drop
green acorns too
open nighttime windows
cricket chorus
the comfort warmth of quilts
my innards energizesd
everlasting smiles
joyful giggles
watching nature
change clothes

The time we got to share together,
Went by too quick...Too fast.
For life or someone took you away from me,
With that hateful, horrible disease.
The cancer struck you hard and fast,
We weren't even given time to sneeze.

You were gone, and we were left,
To struggle through this life.
The pain struck more when we looked in moms eyes,
As we dreaded to continue on somehow with life.

Continue we did, for a while,
all just trying to make it through and try to smile.
Times were tough, as we missed you dearly.

Then came along in not much time,
More horrible and sad news.
Mommy was sick, the same as you,
The cancer had got her too.

How could this be, its not even five years,
Since we lost our dad
I hated this world for what it's doing,
Why do we have to be that someone?

It stayed with mom for a while,
Eventually making her quite sick.
Then it was time to say our goodbyes,
When his heart could no longer tick.

Exactly five years since we said goodbye to you,
We had to say goodbye to mom too.
I wish it was a dream and I could wake up,
But this nightmare is horribly true.

And so we continue, each day different to the next,
The pain still so real and sore.
Still trying to accept and understand,
Why did this happen to our family for?

I now sit and pray and try to picture you two,
And I hope that you are both together.
This world we live in is not the end,
And your love was to last forever.

Until it's time for us to meet again,
Please be there watching over me.
Help me continue through this life,
And give me direction that I can see.

Mom and Dad you are my entire world,
Someday I will see you again.
Not soon enough, I know.
I do my best to look past the how, look past the why.
Why so soon you both had to go?

This I hope you see
The only question I ask of you is,
Are you proud of me?