Its funny.
Its really funny.
How no one notices my struggling until I start literally falling apart at the seems and I am not longer taking care of everyone else around me.
When I start being late for things and falling asleep in the car.
When I can no longer do everything that everyone wants.
That is when people start to notice.
Then they simply want me to be better so that I can start take care of them some more.
And no one wants me to be better to myself simply give them everything that they want.
Isn't it funny.

I have always “enjoyed” making sure everyone else was happy
I can’t seem to shake this feeling
I have tried and tried
My friends don’t approve
My family doesn’t know
My mind says my heart doesn’t matter
My heart believes it
I try and try and try again
I am numb inside
I don’t know what feelings are
I used to never have them
I shattered inside along time ago
I used to feel everything
Sometimes too much even
I don’t know what to do anymore
My boyfriend doesn’t understand
He never had what I have
He had the perfect life
I told him again and again
I tried to help him to understand
Nothing, nothing, nothing
He stopped for a while
He slowly began to forget
Maybe on purpose
I know not
I told my friends
They wanted him gone
I tried and tried to get them to calm
I wanted to make everyone happy
I can not keep my friends and him straight
I couldn’t do it
It causes me pain again and again
Each and everyday they fight and fight
Everyday without fail
He tries to steal me away because he believes we get no time today
He blames me for not being able to do these things
I am simply trying to keep everyone happy
And I feel pain
I don’t understand

I work so hard.
Everyday I do everything.
I cook.
I clean.
I go to school.
I work 2 part time jobs.
I do homework.
But it will never be enough for you.
Why do I try?