“Happy Birthday”
She says over flowers and chocolates
Apollo’s last masterpiece

I can feel the ache when I embrace you
Your chest moans against mine.
And I know the pain seeping from your pores
I press my lips to your cheek.

My palms are still skinned from that time
I fell in love with you,
And my lungs still tell me sometimes,
They cannot breathe air that wasn’t once yours,
And my chest still echoes with sobs from the piece of your heart
I know you left sitting in my chest,
It’s carved across my bones, across my skin, in my eyes,
I miss you.

I am stumbling blind
I know I can make it alone
I know I’m strong enough
I know I’m brave enough
But I really, really
Really don’t want to have to.

The sunrise was a blush toned haze,
Behind a great peak, this morning,
I’ve missed the absolutely joy,
Of seeing something so beautiful,
It steals your very breath.

The horizon blushed,
As we chased the sunset,
And I forgot what goodbye felt like.

Stare at me out car windows
And whisper unpleasantries
I’ll keep dancing in the street
With hair aglow and eyes alight.
Call me madwoman if you like,
But at least I’m still able to dance.

He told me he loved her
A stubborn, honest truth,
That I already knew.

His eyes capture the light and hold it,
Brown fires in his soul,
His hands are rough and calloused,
And his heart is worn.

Please don’t let this one hurt.

She rests her hands on my fragile shoulders
Pushes me down into the seat,
Her shaky breath tickles my neck
Her tears run down my spine
“Relax,” she whispers, “You’re safe now.”
Her nails dig in.

They keep me entertained,
Smiling, laughing,
But I know that too soon...
I’ll be alone again.

9:17 am
I’ve never lost a mother,
But I watched my mother lose hers.
I know the devastation that lives
In your breath, encased
In your beating heart.

Words will never fix this,
But I will always be here.

The sunlight is warm.
It presses the gentlest kisses fire can offer
Against my bare skin.

His hair is copper and strawberry
His eyes rich mahogany
And i know I shouldn’t.

Stop.
Stop caring, stop wanting,
Stop begging for someone to care.

The silence of a night bus,
The artificial glow reveals everything.
We are the ‘ugly’ of this city.

She look back at me,
And her hair is the pure sunlight
And her eyes are the vast sky.
Her cherry blossom lips curl in the brightest grin
And my chest aches something hollow
Something full.

This bedroom feels more like a cell
But with every day, with all my effort
I am piecing it together.

You are the toiling Wind,
Your eyes are the blue sky, your touch the warm sunlight
I have seen the stars in your freckles, and the night sky in your palms
I know you often feel like you have no path,
And I know the fear of being lost resides around your ring finger
But I know you carry far more than a whispering breeze in your lungs,
I know that in your feet are proud gusts
And that your love is what screams at my window every night
You are the toiling wind
Indisputable, incorrigible, intense
And you are what carries me by my wings when I am too weak to do it myself
I know you come with clouds on your heels sometimes
But I also know you chase them off just as quickly
You are the toiling wind,
You are the gentle breeze,
You are the screaming gale,
You are freedom.

The saddest part,
Is that I know with every fiber
I’d let you tear me to shreds.

If only to make you feel better,
I’d offer my own devastation.

The moss covers the trees,
Like a thick cloak, a decoration
There is so much life here.

Early morning haze,
You pull me closer, closer.
Is it me, that you want?
Or do you just need to remind yourself
You aren’t alone.

The cars fade away,
The sun turned golden,
I want to touch the water.

I missed the bus,
And sat on the sidewalk while I waited.
It was dark, the city aglow,
I think I’m okay.

My step sprang down the sidewalk
The wind brushed my hair.
My fickle heart...
Feeling alive.

Today it snowed both here and there
But it wasn’t cold here.
I never thought i would miss 17 degrees
Biting at my nose and cheeks.
Homesick.

Snow fell slowly,
It was ***** grey, like the sky,
Bitter cold where it met my tears,
Biting at my cheeks.

To me, with my heart in ruins,
It looked less like snow,
And more like ash.

God I’m going to miss you.

I dreamed of a storm.
It waited on the edge of the sky,
Dark and intimidated,
And struck when I least expected it.

I ran, but the sky threw stones,
That chased me into my home.
The ceiling collapsed,
Thank God I’m alone

I awoke, and his words were not
A cruel, twisted nightmare.
I deserve better
Than this.

It’s supposed to hurt.
This ache, this breaking feeling,
It just means I really do love you.

The definition of “content”
Became leaning into your side
Wrapped in your arm.

“I’ll be okay.”
I whisper it against the wind’s lips.
It bites back.

I painted hope on my face,
On the backs of my hands,
On my eyelids.

Don’t let me forget.