You were wearing that old sweatshirt
You know the one?
With the holes and the bleach stains?
You're were looking at me with those big blue eyes
And I was taken prisoner
You trapped me under that sweater
Under your skin
Under your eyelashes
And I was set free again
Into a new world
Where no one wears that sweater
Like you do.

I loved you across lakes
Through clouds
over earths
and seas
and days
and nights
I loved you through my pain
under shadows
over yes
and no
and please
I loved you more than me
and it hurt
every day
a little more
than the one before
And when I did not have to love you
across water
and dreams
and tears
I could not love you at all.

There is a greatness in your form
The way you carry yourself around
Like you're the beginning
And the end
Of every sentence.
There is a cruelty in your eyes
And how they cut me down
Around every corner
And under all the moons and suns
We've seen together.
There is a kindness to your body
Like it has covered all it's bruises
And learned from its mistake
Of trusting you with it.
And there is ****** on your lips
When they join with mine
And I feel my life ending
With every untaken breath.

Give me, to start, a love that blows through me
A love that lights candles
A love that burns bright
Then give me a love that is adult and wise
A love that will teach me
A love that leaves scars
But to end things I wish for a love that moves mountains
A love that sets fires
A love that surounds.

I fight sleep tonight.

I imagine

What it would feel like

To curve into you.

To feel you press against me

And into me

And through me.

I think it would be like

Jumping off a bridge.

Pain is in the plan

But so is the water

And it's warm

And worth the sting.

I dream of being under darkness with you.

Eyes that flutter open

And brush your cheeks.

Kissing your skin goodnight.

Professing desire to your face.

To your eyes specifically.

Your eyes.

Something I am too selfish to describe.

I trace them every night

On the backs of my eyelids.

So I never forget the way they fall on me.

I imagine you in my dreams tonight

And sleep comes like a gun.

I looked for you at night

you strayed far from my sight

I looked for you in sunshine

but sunshine was too bright

I looked for you in darkness

I looked for you by light

I looked for days and months and years

and couldn’t put it right.

There is a tension in the air lately

I find it nice to breathe in

Like magnetic dust

that pulls me further from the past

and takes me somewhere dark

It leads me back to you

Every day and every night

in every corner of the world.

I am filled with a liquid heat

that caresses my bones

and threatens to break them

if they do not comply.

It strikes my veins and fills my heart

with fear I can’t express.

It chokes my words

It freezes my eyes closed

and I’m at your mercy.

There is a tension in the air lately

Like static shocks

That sting in a beautiful way.