You must not bleed nor bend nor break,
You cannot fall or fail to fly-
Stretch your wings from sky to land,
And soar until you close your eyes.

"I despise you."
Quivering lips spit warm breath into my ear,
As sweet as were his words spiteful.
A crooked feeling splits into a grin,
Savoring his unbearable gaze.
"You never mean what you say,"
Dismissive,
I'll decide who bends and breaks.
Bloodlust ignites the tension,
Pushing me to the wall.
"I love you."
His fingers sunken through my brain,
Heart imploding despite his lie.
Flickering vision records his contorted face,
God, did he finally smile?

You great FOOL!
Ah, the grating disappointment,
Truly, I'm not mad,
Just repulsed.

Repression,
Ostracize yourself-
My spirit of rationality!
The shrieks and wails,
Oh, hysterical moaning,
My mind is mourning.

With your pathetic anticipation,
Greedily, I refuse to sleep.
Heavy eyelids,
I pinch my throat to stay alive.

Nothing is coming,
Definitely,
Positively,
He is aware,
Agh, my useless desires!
These immoral pangs,
Fleeting?
Surely, I hope for it.
This crisis I build alone,
Enough to topple me from head to toe.
Mind is racing,
Galloping against the tide-
Dramatic enough to become addicted,
To the voice of one passion.

Have I ever written for myself?
Or has it always been to keep my brain in check?
There is no opportunity without dissonance-
Words respond to agony,
They ignore me at my best.
When everything finally goes right,
And it feels as though a future for me exists,
I find myself missing the feeling of a pen in my hand.

Have you found such a person?
One who loves you unconditionally.
All I hope is you'll overlook my defects,
Staying by my side for eternity.
Whether I'm housed in flesh or wispy spirit,
Will you acknowledge me?
Don't brush over my presence,
Take my hand and talk endlessly.
Even if I never open my mouth,
This smooth voice is all the comfort I need.

Despite how I may appear,
And regardless of who you see,
Can you still lend me your love and devotion?
You'll follow me...
Even if I'm unworthy...
And for long as it's meant to,
My heart will beat.
Do you want a room inside?
You can't rent, only buy-
The price is an unbreakable promise...
Stay with me.

Support is such a warming hug,
So gentle and concise-
It makes me crave it all the more,
And I wander in search of angels.

With dusty hair and a strong brown frame,
My angel pats me so,
Quietly muttering that she'll love me regardless.

Across the room,
With palpable sass,
My devil-angel smiles,
Comforting me with presence alone.

Their marks are left engraved on my skin,
But in a kindly way-
Not ****** as my scolding words,
That I remind me of through pain.

You rub red lips with a soft finger,
A spark leaps from your eyes,

Igniting the room-
Wading through the flames,
Hand in hand,
Our ashes spread the scent of lust.


OR


Igniting the roses in full bloom,
Wafting their delicate scent
Along the riverside wind as we walk,
The night is freezing but my heart is hot.

I'm a dead person living in shambles,
The ever so tempting urge to disappear,
Is beckoning me from the corridor,
Smelling of easy success.
It's lips like candied cotton,
Eyes of care and warmth,
It's whispers all I've ever wanted to hear,
And promises me that I, too, can dream,
Regardless, it will follow me.

Odd,
How such a miserable angle,
Seems to brighten up the day.
Although fatigue opts to stay,
The wispy clouds of loneliness evaporate.
Fresh air wafts in through it's place,
Drawing a bitter trail across the shades.

The clock murmurs throughout the late-night hours,
Melting all too quickly away.
Breaking the cycle of buzzing silence,
Pass cracked lips slip a whistling groan,
Mouth a barren mound of sand,
And breaths the blazing sun that ignites it beneath one's feet.

Time to cry myself to sleep,
All this wailing in my head,
Suddenly I wish I was dead-
God I can barely breath,
I'm choking.

This burden too much to bear,
I'm comforting myself in desperation.
Bite down ******* trembling lips,
Swallow back the grief and sick,
But still a few indignites slip through closed eyes.

How I wish that you were here,
I am detached until it's asked,
Are those swirling eyes of mine an indicator of emotion?
Deny it no matter how it looks,
And run away,
No one shall share my woes if they know my face.

I think too much.
Brain, a restless jumping bean.
Quiet down,
I need to breathe.

Abrupt silence,
Smiles and thoughts begin to sway,
As Inspiration floats leisurely by,
Just a breath out of reach,
Yet nothing can force it back into my fingers.

Suddenly, I know I've nothing more to say,
Despite the infinite words of shame,
Imploding within my galaxy of thoughts.

Peace brings stars and planets to collapse,
Replaced by demons breeding fantasy,

Great Falsehoods I believe,
Pouring out the end of my pen,
And waiting to do it all over again.

It's frightening,
This house.
And the person I'm stuck in with it.
I can't tell my friends,
I don't want to bother my dad.
But I feel so scared,
And I don't know what to do.
The only thing keeping him at bay is the threat of getting kicked out.
What do I do?
I can't leave,
I've nowhere to go,
But I sure as hell don't want to stay here.

With light feminine grace,
she exists to rot this space,
spreading her filthy seed about,
from which these terrible goblins sprout.

I hate feeling unsafe,
Especially in my own house.
I finally snapped, screamed,
And said everything I wanted to (mostly).
And now he's come apologizing.
It doesn't feel that genuine,
But what else can I do but bend,
Besides telling him I won't allow him to touch me ever again?

It's not the nauseating smell of ****,
That I wish to forget,
Or of perfume-drenched pillows,
Covering the fear that lingers in my eyes,
That fogged my head and whirled my stomach about.
Just like an ink stain that won't wash away,
Potent shade sloppily spreads across my hands,
Dying my furrowed brows in grey,
and mixing my Nights into Days.

The dam's going to break soon,
Already marred with cracks,
Salty drops welling up through the holes,
Staining the reservoirs below.
When the waves crash through,
No one's here to help me,
So it mustn't leave the room.

Distracting my mind is the only way to hide from it-
It's been too long since the corners have been dusted,
And the room's about to collapse.
Among the burning ruins,
The past knaws barbarically at my rotting flesh,
Falling from bones that shouldn't be as old as they are.

The ribs cage a cowering child,
Screaming and shouting
"I don't want to cry!"
Biting it's fingers to swallow attention from anything but pain.
"Please, God, take these burdensome feelings away!"
Merciful He granted my wish,
Perhaps to make me realize,
Just how foolish that was.

Lost, cold, hold my corpse,
Dangling over burning coals,
Sparks and glowing embers skid along the grave.

Push those nails in tight,
Watching skin scar along the stitch lines.
Mouth flattened, distracted eyes.
Despicable hunter,
Without the thrill,
Am I not even worth collecting?

The switch to my mind is always on,
Populated by billowing pink clouds,
I poke and pop the shimmering balloons,
Watching the withered flakes float away.

Even in the dark,
These despicable rainbows are visible!
Like bits of glass,
Stuck deep in my flesh.

For every ****** shard removed,
Ten more regrow,
Reflecting beneath paper thin skin.
On its surface,
My blatant intentions carve themselves;
At least, if my hands tremble,
Can't the rest of me find a way to hide?

What a beautiful man,
What a pretty woman.
Their peace is uninterrupted.
Trifling distractions,
So temporary and insignificant,
Nothing changes to them.
But it's everything to me.

Why do I keep wasting my time?
There shouldn't be anything on my mind.
But I still foolishly wonder,
If it wasn't this way,
Would you think of me ever?

You make it so easy for me,
To keep falling deep.
Everything you do,
Is painfully professional.
Somehow,
Doing nothing,
Is just as poisonous to me.

I am shame and failure personified.
I speak tongues of anguish,
And cry hollow tears-
Neither a devil nor angel,
What remains is only evil.

Procrastination is a scary thing,
And I wish I could focus,
As I feel the last hours slipping away.

I'm writing the same mindless drivel,
How many times will I make the same point in different ways?
Yet its neither coherent or comprehensible,
Until I slap it together, watching it's brittle bones shake,

Am I even making a point?
I know what I'm writing,
But obviously, I don't-
Will they understand it as it grows?
Just a little push,
I'll be right as rain,
And 300 ideas will rush out of my brain -

So let me focus
Instead of down,
And watch as I finish ahead of the race.

Knock, Knock, Knock,
It’s an anxious, hurried rhythm,
Searching for attention,
The Next Door Ghoul
Wails loudly through the crack under the door.

Annoyed, the neighbour shuns them,
Sliding dark blinds to the sight of it.
Pressed against the frosty glass,
It leaves ****** fingerprints,
And gradually, the cries grow unhappier.

“LOok for me! I want you to see-”
Indignantly, the ghoul pounds a crack into the window.
A windy night, nature howls alongside the grotesque body as it crawls inside.
With shaky feet it finds the target, shivering inside their closet,
“Don’t be scared”
Can’t ignore- it drags them out anyways.

A crackling of bones,
The ghoul bends down,
Revealing a rotting face-
The corpse living underneath this house.
“Did you forget? I used to live here too.”
And the memories flood back,
Unwillingly, a few hateful tears slip from their eyes.
“Life is better without you, I never wanted to remember.”

And suddenly the face of misery splits---
Maggots wiggle from blank sockets,
Dripping, ravenous onto skin,
And underneath their tiny teeth,
The body begins to disappear.
Choice is meaningless,
This taint penetrates the soul.

I watch the great big smile,
As it adorns my face.
Finding beauty in the blinding ecstasy,
From which it emanates.
Feel the stretch,
As it climbs from ear to ear=
Why do I smile so,
All because of you,
Again, Again,
Even when I thought I've let go,
You reach back in,
And pull my heart closer to yours.
I love it all, this feelings and mostly you:)
But I think it's unhealthy,
To keep pining like a fool.
You'll tell me I'm lovely,
Not an imbecile,
But I disagree,
Because I keep chasing my tail.

I feel too tired to cry anymore,
A headache's coming along.
Tracing the curve of my brows,
The pounding furiously responds.

I feel too tired to breath,
Could someone else do it for me?
Or better yet,
Put me to sleep,
So that I can silently pass on.
An enjoyable delusion.

Its unlikely it'll happen naturally.
It must be me,
To hold the hand of peace.
Burning and extinguished,
I ***** everything into my hands.
Crawling with filthy mold,
I stare down my insides,
Observing my excessive intake,
Of failure and reward.

I feel too tired to live,
I'd like you to help me brain,
As we're not very useful, at all.
So shut down casually,
And end this miserable lull.
You may think I am dramatic,
And right would you be,
I am useless,
Meaningless and weak.
It's only right I get used and thrown away.
(Please, keep me safe from it).
I don't want things from you-
I'm fine on my own.
Die young?
Good riddance;
At least then, I'd be isolated.

Occasionally,
The brain sinks into a state of undead,
As if even in the afterlife I'm cursed to think.
What a relief it would be,
If all the passing time that tortures me,
Is nothing but eternal day in a sluggish, everlasting rest.

Even the memories,
A past I long to stay in,
Yet one I could not wait to leave,
Are only color-stained within photography.
Who is sheparding my thoughts?
Are you asleep on the job?
They're on a rampaging stampede,
Mindlessly trampling me underneath.
****** hoofprints drag bits of scattered matter into dusty wasteland,
Barren, dry, and with no end in sight.

Tapping those frozen, innocent smiles,
Adorning every "########" you've captured,
As if it could transmit back into me,
That youthful vitality.
Bitter tears and sour defeats,
For the worse, have changed me.
Without a place to stand,
How can I ever steady my feet?