The dam's going to break soon,
Already marred with cracks,
Salty drops welling up through the holes,
Staining the reservoirs below.
When the waves crash through,
No one's here to help me,
So it mustn't leave the room.

Distracting my mind is the only way to hide from it-
It's been too long since the corners have been dusted,
And the room's about to collapse.
Among the burning ruins,
The past knaws barbarically at my rotting flesh,
Falling from bones that shouldn't be as old as they are.

The ribs cage a cowering child,
Screaming and shouting
"I don't want to cry!"
Biting it's fingers to swallow attention from anything but pain.
"Please, God, take these burdensome feelings away!"
Merciful He granted my wish,
Perhaps to make me realize,
Just how foolish that was.

Have I ever written for myself?
Or has it always been to keep my brain in check?
There is no opportunity without dissonance-
Words respond to agony,
They ignore me at my best.
When everything finally goes right,
And it feels as though a future for me exists,
I find myself missing the feeling of a pen in my hand.

It's not the nauseating smell of ****,
That I wish to forget,
Or of perfume-drenched pillows,
Covering the fear that lingers in my eyes,
That fogged my head and whirled my stomach about.
Just like an ink stain that won't wash away,
Potent shade sloppily spreads across my hands,
Dying my furrowed brows in grey,
and mixing my Nights into Days.

Abrupt silence,
Smiles and thoughts begin to sway,
As Inspiration floats leisurely by,
Just a breath out of reach,
Yet nothing can force it back into my fingers.

Suddenly, I know I've nothing more to say,
Despite the infinite words of shame,
Imploding within my galaxy of thoughts.

Peace brings stars and planets to collapse,
Replaced by demons breeding fantasy,

Great Falsehoods I believe,
Pouring out the end of my pen,
And waiting to do it all over again.

I'd imagine your lips to taste of nectar,
And breath to smell of sweet fire,
That laps at my limbs,
While I rest beside the hearth of your gaze,
Sparkling like lakes beneath a winter glaze,
Yet edged in a euphoric spring,
Crinkled like a ripple among the waves.

Flip the hourglass and lend an ear,
I'm here to buy up your time,
The price is no small ask,
But I'll do whatever it takes,
To erase the years that kept us apart.

I only let you watch me,
Once the night-time fades,
And my fluttering nightingale has finished serenading.
A committed gaze,
Relentless in its chaotic rage.

The fury furrows beneath the skin of my crown,
Cricking it down a notch,
Almost in shame,
As I salivate in my hunger for gratification,
Feeding it piece by piece to my brain.

Before I lose myself in consumption,
Color shall tear me away.
As always,
Black is the prettiest shade,
For Absence is thy name

There are not enough ways to express how much I crave the sound of silence
Whichever being felt it proper to play games with my brain,
Treat it as a fleshy chessboard
With pieces abound,
Always pushing between responsibility and chaos,
Will I ever curse you,
For I cannot ever escape the chatter that comes with your calculative moves.

No thoughts flow as I type,
Yet there is this infinite flow of words to write,
And none of them sound coherent.
Is this thinking?
But I understand naught a single thing.

Sleep is calling,
I refuse to pick up,
But the song that plays reminds me
I need a refresher, a new day,
Or I'll be stuck on this path a long way,
Before the thoughts behind these thoughts
Make me human as I have been.