all my days are laid out in front of me in lines of flight
all my days are lightly dispersed in front of me
i have my time laid out in tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow
and where is my time today

i have my time in the ten hours of light in december
i have my time in the sunset of four in the afternoon

there is time in the pages i read printed made physical so i can underline
the time hidden


an organisation of all manifestations of selves
monotonous block of differentiation
all just supply and all relation
princess, subject, mother, daughter, are things forgot
for every woman alone thinks she has got
to be a phoenix, and that then can be
none of that kind, of which she is, but she

what is awake are the children on the streets striking
lightning and smoke
everything exists but consumed by smoke and confusion and
drooping eyes looking futuring

there is no health; physicians say that we
at best enjoy but a neutrality
and can there be worse sickness than to know
that we are never well, nor can be so?
we are born ruinous: poor mothers cry
that children come not right, nor orderly
except they headlong come and fall upon
an ominous precipitation

Goodbye!
wrapping around it
that it should be by now
naturally another joke
yesterday's failed. Let's look
one more time

crawl

off to the garden
and peaking through the window to
see the Little
Pieces

resignation "It's working"
we can be the entire day

We had eaten to the bone what was the good meat
and were wondering what to do with the leftovers
we had left
the bad pieces; bottles of bad

We
did not want to take the forest
home, no one wants to
"we were happy to be
left sticking to ourselves"
we saw

a mouth of regret
and a willing eye
"Oh!" was all he said
Oh how agreeable you are
going
"I do not know" in the most agreeable
way
we go
we do
than do

while the excitement in his voice
was trying to find
what it already possessed. Now we
have it it lies
in love does it not repeat itself?

Otherness
Ratherness over Otherness
we do really believe in
the thought of it

Isn't that wherein you live?

i tried to wash my hands
under this infected tap she is
completely empty
i dream often about pool, grandmother,
extending my hands into nothingness

i will scatter the ashes of a spoiled
we over the city that is already full of
senseless lungs, poured glasses and running
eyes i see your set of eyes you possess
a to me bloodshot wisdom i am floor-bound i will whirl in
an ongoing we

i make an incision around my hairline a
perfect cyclus an aureole
take off my skull softly a hat where i
evaporate see an upward heaviness lying here
long lines a violation
i see black regret like poison me as a think-rider jump over another fence become as a talk-shaman to dissect myself
fits me better than to say i am cutting myself it is more like a construction of soft fingertips that slide and slip into holes and
explore embrace self-respecting arms

there are piles of material in this house
my intuition a healing functionality i follow a
method my skull a hat a backpack a shield with which i depart

believe myself to be complete
a true vision
my cracked one, my beautiful one
never finger-pointing
i am castle-like, architectural
i do not become i am i am i am

take down"
the news
tireless
After the fiasco

that could not go wrong.
"And what is infuriating in reds is that -
thought that the others ate
everything that we built around ourselves
and above all
the Help and - and - it would
not be so dark

buffering over face
"Let's go"
take down"
those opportunities
take down" took him down in the street
near his own house - a punishment on
his face fearing pale conversations
nearing him and
expectations

a little pale thing
beside him

"To be honest", shamelessly
we were those things that disappear
we were wondering

thrill against him He was a
dog with a wide heart.
The enchantment
as good as
gone

surrounded by fit tantrum scene even conniption
understood

when they were at the end of the road
sitting still

"there is
nothing now that I want. I am becoming ill
I do not understand why

"But why The
difficulty about you is that you suffer of an excess
of
small pieces
At least you are keeping yourself busy
your energy-a little
pale thing fearing "Me! On my
Own!"

but still

"You stole him. Of course you have him
otherwise in your garden
never stolen, how I go

I have I say
my own
chain. What I would like to know is
how come

"Filthy dog, yes yes! and you loved to
steal

"I think you never owned a dog."

I will leave you
my dog

a rancid filthy one
"Liar!
Thief!
a thief!
and a liar!"

they turned
helplessly, startled
collar
the Owner screamed

"Don't you think so?" he refused to
let go of his griefs

now i understand the multiplicity of people
from now on i am all so present
for distraction
fighting another
"That is the real one" Red Screams
Red Bursts and all the others
excited politeness. This must be the real one. They
all somehow recognised him

"we must condemn Red
we borrowed and re-
turned. We cannot leave him in the forest

"Come"
on his handkerchief
accompanied by
turns on a road to

Defence no longer
people-less. both looked
angry. both pointed their little finger frust-
rated

to their accomplishments with attention
The one man, found
the other guilty. The other
had a hand and blamed
his Visitor.

a simple explanation: i am his friend
i can feel it

helpless

not my fault should he be the wrong one. up to
the Owner to find the right one
I have had enough of today
once again

the branches on the ground and
the ruins of the excited One
tried to fix him
"It will never work," Red said in Melancholy
lost it

a
little bit of understanding: Run With The Dogs!
cavalier. "competitively being
Ridiculous

this attack
his defence
Would you?

too much understanding. That is it.
too much intelligence. That is it.
Intelligence; all dogs are stupid. They Have
to be stupid go after the Mechanical
instead of the real

he: another employment

at that moment skipping in
between the Trees. grabbed
and tied the collar.
full of disgust.

why all on him
what he said
impatient. They got out of the forest,
a road home
Red being a dog, in doubt

be careful be open
got inside tied again to the
chain
Red in silence

"Where are we going?"

"Back to the woods, I left the ruins
there. I bet I can
fix him

it was
only because he did not understand:
the Optimism knows no limits.

slowly, in thought, was Red "it is
the wrong dog
he is the wrong dog impatient
not the same one
he was before

was not entirely Red anymore
was not
entirely. Do you know

attention-wise i am on the soft-spoken spectrum
reel the volume in i mean press me
you like the soft-spoken don’t you
somehow i am light-headed in march and what you say
kind of message is that
i like good girls
come on

i whistle along to the architectural tone of your everlasting
messages and i
whistle along to your unfitting jazz
i like your unfitting jazz
like jeans i never wear jeans
you never wear me out i am never tired in your company

buy me press me i will dance
mostly jump though in your eyes i still see your angry eyes
a shrine a bed a jumprope for falling and standing
completely naked
in a hot pink at-fault-bathtub
soap me press me so we never have to freak out anymore
bathe me press me so we always say i like you so much
i miss you so much in 24 hours
press me press me i am only at a short distance

patience is stranger and cautions goodbyes and none of it
in me we must conservative what is left and make
the best only the best
i believe in you non-fictionally like a
radar you are here you are somewhere
i am a girl with very fast heartbeats and when i
crawl from under i am energised i have tried all the
nothings and they all worked

we are in on all the trouble and we walk forward never swaying
always swaying i cannot digest meals because
there is too much sand on my sill and too
much stress in my pockets and too many coats i
hang in here with my legs close together and they touch nothing i
hang in here with my legs close together and smell lavender and
hope i end up like my parents

februaric sun is an excuse
unfaithful quadruped is an excuse
Lappish light is an excuse
two arms i lie on maybe
downward dog hard hand everything under agoraphobia
and then march and then march and then march
two arms i lie on maybe

i am completely stretched out in my premisse and
abdominal is panicked in my oppositeness and then
some things bang in short moment calling walking past like
almost happened language like bangs and cyclical leaning

i believe you in dutch my head spins in angels and some times
i speak in mother tongues like six in the morning happiness

hip-snake i am mad about yourself there me cut you
fly me through italic parental dutch angles we look through shoulders
do i want to scratch your shoulders faithful quadruped

i do know either
i do know either
like an unruly suppressed strolling goosing noise missing like MIST
you read me

i have shown you where i am torn
do you believe me are you opened yet because i want
to look at you even when you are not here
are you opened yet because i realm to you
have fallen in you it sounds like an ode but it is not

inside is cold when you live together
nothing misses the house seems overflowing inside
is cold the temperature does not know
where to go what
is right now

i take this seriously like a sugar cane it is
always about the same stuff we take this seriously like sugar canes
spoons over our eyes you taste sweet and we put fat lines and
dots on the walls of the house the lines on my arms are
filled with sugar paste

the words miserable and memorable are too much alike
as in an empty letter
that does not fit any of the categories we know of
i do not hear much anymore with the knowledge that
i have buried my left ear deep into the pillow
it seems to help a bit

my throat seems a bit blackened in the back as
peppered people will not dare to admit
there is something to say for hanging out of a window that
looks out on the cats of the neighbours downstairs

as peppered people will not dare to admit there
is something to say for sleeping with no intervals on
some levels this is a normal morning i
do not eat meat anymore no one offers to do the dishes
for me i watch while you eat and break what remains of yesterday
down the middle

and then i imagine we
are laying together on the bed
that is the universe
the streets feel softer
i have found some feathers
in my armpit and we are
all angels we jump we
jump we can see how we
bow to each other

whether it matters anymore to look to look
to count who of us is fuller of night does  
sensibility disappear every time it appears

i have been called upon more than once and understand
that the most poignant statues of Pygmalion are
built on misery and

how much more can my feet disappear in insomnia
through my imagination's door a myriad of beautiful things are hidden that make me cry i am so touched

how much distance is needed between
three decaf days to
still feel it feel it

i decapitate my presence
my existence leads its own life: with a curious
personality a somehow experiencing courtesy

ergo my inner landscape: conversations between an
infinite essayist and a
grounded grounded devilish being

i categorise everything like
the sound of nails and crystal chalice and angel voices stray in a
circle of dirt and head on my chest

good morning to all in your lines
lick your fingers clean fiercely let me
remark something of desiring value:

how are those nests you all hold high above your heads
i can see handfuls of spider webs
i sit nailed into a wall

breathing feels so nice at
the turning point of the year
will everything be upside down
will i be learned
we will see we will see

to breath in once more
and then it is over
in pivoting snowflake-lights
in whirls to breath in once more
and then it starts all over the
pivoting

the pivoting around a dot and the
walking down a line
the balance between our hands this
high in my lungs that i
choose to hold in/put aside/put on everything
of the breaths that that is safer

at night we stand still
look over our shoulders
something is still flickering turning
snowflake-lights or something more beautiful
that only we own

close your eyes i do not want you to see this
only feel it and there is nothing up
my sleeves
a bird that you are lands with
imprints in my shoulders where
i stand firmly i dare
to stand still

THE ANSWER HERE IT IS!
writing in white is easier instead of speaking
because none of the words are real
consider a new use of margins

reliving reliving eight-teen and none of the snow hopefully
and none of the cold blue blue please makes me sad

IN MY HEAD EVERYTHING IN ARROWS AND ALWAYS
POINTING AT HEADS HEADS THUNK

HAPPY me in a supersonic spacious ship landed on earth really here
like really really here with my thoughts as roots around feet
stupid thoughts make me trip and fall my
hands scratched open and i scratch my arms open as well
nice old habit

stranger do you remain home cosily cosily do not trash yourself
do not log in your fingernail tips

so i can air myself in minus four and
think think think about paste paste paste

SOME REVELATIONS WHEN READING FLAUBERT:
-fantasy world is unsafe and real real world is fake and harm
-cry over made up situation every day
-IS THAT AN HYPOTHESIS?
-YES you are dumb and smart at the same time
-mostly: I AM SUPERIOR LIKE A BIG IDIOT

good friends
mere acquaintances like romanticising devoid of hope and despising with determination in one split second
...

Feast!
Death and Disaster!
Call in the mothers and fathers, my youth owns the streets!

After all that reminiscing about Friday,
I broke my computer,
I lay in bed,
Bleeding heavily,
Hysterically laughing,
Everything is fine.

new definition of that there are no set solutions no
promises are real i am
in a dark room tried to undo myself
from all the hair ties it is haywire
disaster i'm bleeding everywhere
i'm sorry like electronically waves
sometimes i think about suicide and
then i wouldn't know how much deeper i can
dig i would be Thanatos and nothing else i will just keep going
going smash my face on the floor little
spatters a carve a wineglass in my veins so
i am red on the outside like i am
red and fire on the inside

there can be only one conclusion
we're all terrified and outside is
terrible and in me there are terrible
doors and like a car crash they're all so wide open
and our love is wide open like a bleeding eye and
closed like me at lunch time and by
spring i will be completely empty or opened again it all means
the same thing and at spring or
at lunch time i can't tell the difference anymore
i'll be completely apathetic i will look at
you from a frontal point of view and i will say
i can't feel my legs they do not
take me anywhere anymore all i want is to
have a window to look
out maybe i will see you walking down the street
and i'll hear that music playing in my head

i was thinking of how we behave as cinema
creatures in dark theatres strenuous thumbs
you crawl up to me and become the smallest man in
humanities little hairlocks between
kisses how you raise my elbow to
bring my fingers near your lips how
you raise my elbow

you said feet are a medium for
intimacy and i can't put down
my heels on the streets like i used to

you were never strange you were
always far away and i was always holding up a magnifying glass to
remember every detail always in preparation i was always
holding up a magnifying glass i was always in love i was
always in love

you are standing on the top of
my tree-trunk head you are a beautiful
bird and i am handing
you your wings
i swear i love you excruciatingly
am crushed under your bird feet

lift me up and you never
will and will you ever let me go
can i lift myself out of this dirt or
am i planted like this for now

i enlist whatever i acquiesce
i juxtapose comparisons i drown
myself in learning about the awful ways
of life and lingering

i am controversialist
exceptional conversationist empty
boudoir tired Heidegger
how did i come into waking can i turn
my back one more time

this is not spread out on my skin
this is a foreign object in my house this
is not idle perplexuation this is

stomping grounds metal clinging
clans this is not idolatry this is
not the truth but i but us this is hurricane
horizontal but i but us we are quite
a bit but i but us

something so bright and supernova in
you i must bury my snout in

clamouring for hyperreality like a
shield like a mirror i hold out to
everyone in which i see myself so that i no
longer have to be there
can transgress as an entire cloak-from

when did the smoke leave your palms

thank you for the soap on my plates
thank you for the soap on my plates
i am retracing my origins
no one
please follow me

i imagine a soft picture
and lay down on that sweet pillow
this could be a woman and this could be a man
or this could be a woman and a woman
or this could be a man and man
or they could be nothing
keep walking further from home
with the city resounding in their ears

they might be nearly untouching
not knowing what lies ahead of their feet
in the winter eve and at the halt of nature

or they might be one person
that does not know how completeness manifests itself
instead looks for muchness

thank you for the stumbling in my living room
thank you for the stumbling in my living room
next time i will travel a lot further
cold water the feelings warm on my wrist

you are my
poison my
little poison
i gave myself
an amputated
lover
for christmas
unleash me
into a hell where
i am all alone and
cold all my limbs
cracked and crumbling
a withered little
animal
unable to speak or stand
up or even open my
eyes murmuring
that the black at the
back of
my eyelids is just
as unrecognisable as
everything beyond

everything pink forever please
put your hat on it will make no
difference in me that is now
unsigned of long fingernails and
curly shawl driving through the axis
of your eyes in a sixties suburbia

in me that is now uncoloured curly
smile i twist my thoughts in
paraphernalia that they might fit a
life fathomable by authority i sit
knee deep between surfacing
sheets i want erasure posture
means darkness my spleen
disagrees each morning
body-thoughts and you-suit

i sat on the edge of a rectangular
ear my feet the teeth to bite white
nights to whisper how self-lies and
love hands me nothing but life and
a weak notion that nothing of more
than a bleak scarcity is coming
written on my skinny toes

how do i walk laterally
you raise your head and tail
coincidentally like a skunk is always
perhaps faded like you are always
howling for yourself pitiable
madman how the world is a tragedy
unlike thee how do i stop thinking i
am going to die

i play and my own feet **** in my toes i am little
little funny crawler sheets and heavy ornamental thoughts
and breaths
i am and become and have completely absorbed off-likened thorough maddened let me go and fattened unleashment like a hound

on account of lately i want more and
longer nights make me lady of looniness
loneliness written on my left breast on the back of my left ribs terrifying thoughts and wounds and far from the eye
unsatisfied crinkling

of streaming and forward i know nothing my back against
my hopes i will sieve the honey yet keep nothing my tongue retracting into my mouth only silence not oracle

red and black an emblem for apples and craters poison and mindstream paraphernalia and household women on shores women in dresses
and in piles my own two infinite desires

to scorpios all days are multitudes
so long a one-man-feast

it's all good it's all good it's all good i
am driving too far and too fast
it's alright it's alright it's all true everything you say is true even the lies are true insofar as
they incapsulate your face
a chair a back stand to community a hooray for individuals and duels

it is really good to know me truly
like something ethereal; that escapes quickly

divine pleasure
i can season to you every
and push me pull you
slurping stupid purple brain worms
they crawl next to dead spider carcasses
god shoots the food i don't blame anyone

i just saw a feather fall from out of nowhere but i
cannot be deceived anymore
i take in everything through salt circles
i always let my sentiments float
open the box at the wrong end i want to
grab a hold of them and
smash them against the wall i do not like
Pandora anymore

my limbs blank limbs blank
i cannot feel how i am leaning over
dotted lines i am consumerism
scared eagerly not falling but simply icing another
dimension having dinner regularly
doing everything completely right
helpfully fully conscious rambling of the wall
black flies fingernail tinted dumb
at the height of a crap-seated liquorice fashion

and Thom Yorke politely knocks on my ribcage
Are You Okay: No
then he sings I will eat you alive I will eat you alive I will eat you alive I will eat you alive
when you sigh again i can see your breath like an ice cloud it's
because you are cold from the inside it's
because some radiator is stuck in there obviously
even when i see you walking
your limbs are somehow frozen

i draw little shapes on your back and you mimic them on mine, shall we do it like that? you turn me around robot-like: so you want to understand me you just see what you want to see there is no way i can help you out you do not know what it is all about; i give myself a call but i am not home when will i go home? i winter to you -they say, i hear, that life is the only place to resort to; i am here and there in scraps of others and of myself and i sow everything together that i am able to get. we fly like two birds who are illuminated from down under by a glow; the afternoonsun, a nearly-red and the spiders at my feet keep on scaring me and i keep on looking whether they are really there or are merely apparitions and you kiss my feet and everything is solved. come under my wings little bird i swear there is nothing up my sleeve and then we love; our treacherousness; as raw as meat can become, our flight from everything is vertically upwards.

and she is skinny like a deer so she can find the holes in my heart and set foot in them it is winter again
and you bend forward so much more from where i can see you
it is the slowest kind of pain
that you clean your blackest dishes with

THE WHOLE HOUSE OF THE AIR AND THE WATER IS FILTHY
I WILL TAKE THE ROOF AND SPLIT YOU THROUGH IT YOU JUST WATCH OUT YOU JUST WATCH OUT

i mean i HAVE TO GET DESTROYED SOMEHOW i will never have been happier then
me eating your teeth in bed (i will **** you in bed)
you being a mirror towards eternity (in a film that cools down)
you cool down towards the end it is winter again

Marai whispered that towards the end I will remember the beginning powerfully and clearly again
right now i am puzzling the stars pulling energetic lemons into my mouth so i can make strange faces and slap and laugh

mankind in sleeves so atypical it is winter again
it is too cold to be honest to myself
not cold enough to drag myself through that death-chamber
i am crawling towards something else
something so completely devoid of coming home and dinner i
will only have to stretch one finger-punch to touch ice

how have there been nights creating space
a vault of valued silver neck---lace play button play to me
toy tutorial: how to choke me and it is hours after midnight
i am alone in my room uncloaked my pictures upon tiny tiny windows i like to lick the blood out of the slits
grow slimes after midnight like a snail click click the right things and sadden

can i sink my fangs and hydrated as it is
a wet house all of the wallpaper ruined of bottles and of men
i hate that feeling when i put my head down and that is the last thing there is nothing nothing no struggle no bodies and legs
all anger aside i must admit
me all nails and fury me all small fit below the waist die gaily then

has anyone read anything on free will or has anyone stayed or left or has anyone survived can i lend out my own copy of free will two pages high look up the line across my back have you tried to follow me before foresting in motion
**** me in my feelings i have been begging the new moon for a new moon but IT HAS NEVER APPEARED BEFORE ME

IS THERE ANYONE I CAN HIGHLIGHT IN PURPLE AND OR IS THERE ANYONE I CAN PUT MY BACK AGAINST WHO IS WILLING TO LAY A FINGER ON ME

AND I FEEL BETRAYED should i always be banned
me me in shadows i am aware i have gotten dark i have not given permission for deep-rope-denied-roulette-gratuit-whir-phantasma

EVERYONE ON THIS SLUMP STAGE IS HIDING THEIR FINGERS IN MY MOUTH ONE TO ONE TO ONE I CAN NEVER SEE THE FACE THE FACE HURTS TOO MUCH IT IS THE RED FILTER THE EXPENSIVE ONE AND I CANNOT USE TOO MUCH OF IT IT FALLS BEFORE ME I BREAK MY KNEE-CAPS THANK YOU THANK YOU IT WAS WONDERFUL

my name is ssssss-sweetness all of a sudden
i stand before you and i am so mad i want to break your face-jaw neck-jaw your everything-jaw my name is pinky pinky and mutilation is satiric and narcissistic GO BECOME SICK OF IT AND I WILL SICK AND **** YOU AND THE HINT IS IT WILL CHANGE NOW THE SMELL IS AWAITED and the blood will be beautiful

and will be replenishing i give me another three months do you like my invention please jealous you until you open again
the demon does not possess me and does not wish to thus i received
in a letter from hell thank you thank you it was miserably ethereal

you lick the inside of your cheek
it is warmer in there and
softer and pink secretly
without you having to admit to anyone
which wound you have picked at again

that you do not want to listen to acoustic anymore because
that too is too sweet
you understand the sign of the times
clocked in the ears until
they bleed

and letting go of hands does not hurt
it is cold this time of
year that is why you lick the inside of your
cheek
only the
stretching of the muscles

it is normal to
cool off your head
in the freezing northern breeze
a brisk walk or it is normal
to warm up your red ears
on the stove

like a flavourful dish
and never talk in any case
during family diner
fists hooked behind the back
about what is banging inside

spread out your mouth
spit the streets
the tongue a tracking device
carry me now bed-like
four legged somewhere in a
corner and your entire
body weight planted over me
and do not heat spinach in the microwave
the iron will grow eyes
my back has grown at least three
eyes and my thighs are a compliment
i slit myself no mercy
novelty for free
paper of five and half a kilometer
i sleep near sudoku
while you learn foreign affairs by heart
and i am not choosing a theme and i
am still a thief stole your inner knee
am somewhere ******* myself
paint my face
paint my face
paint my face an axe at my ears
my blood a poem
hello who is this i cannot hear you
i cannot comprehend you too well
i fold dead corners like Frankenstein
it is October and five and twenty degrees and
the summer love still not over
and i wind down the wind it will be alright
turn away lurid child the things around here
they just are and
no one that pays attention to them

so drop me
spit me
taste me trench-like
tear away at the restraints
they call the borders
devour the borders

apostel
do not feed me insulation
parade thee wide piped

rain-dropped down locks
in window reflection
functionally i become fur
keep thee warm

she sees she sees
she statutes stoically

every day i pass the same
**** statue
of a cat
licking her paw

she sees she sees
she knows endurance

but i love that drowning
i step out of the shower and feel as if
i could never be absolutely clean
complete skin removal might do me justice
i would have to become a shade of myself
as would be the ashes of a fire
swatched on my upper arm that i will
always burn some way or other
that i am marked but my whole life is
grey and i choose high and low so often
that i feel like i am venturing on a median wave
never knowing what my destiny is

soon i will be nineteen and
we will celebrate my slow decay and everyone
will laugh at me but to me it is all very real
that it is a criminal offence the amount
of times i say goodbye and hello again
that my hair loops but never when i want it to
always when i want it to be downwards
that i sell conversations and flats on sundays
and my nails on every other day
i try to scratch every vulture i meet
breadth of two meters it is stretched from pillow on my bed to beak in my appendix
breath of ten seconds and then i shed my skin
completely take possession of the vulture’s body
it is me who is flying

vision serpent
i might be liquid now and frozen tomorrow or
that might never happen global warming
curdles in my stomach i tried to throw up
but my body does not trust me like it used to
i am glue now somewhere
in between Sisyphus’ rock and Narcissus’ puddle
neither solid and sweeping
nor soft standing still
i look into a crystal ball and see myself
i drink loose tea and the leaves are like my limbs always sinking
i read my tarot and keep a careful eye on the stars and avoid dark nights and being alone and it is always me like a little lucifer carrying inferno online like an application
******* obligation
only some god shoots the food right
in front of his eyes

you can see them
you can see them
the nails they pin everything to
the wall next to my bed
father and child unlooking
i am misery and blurry hands and fingered
hands
and woman with mask
woman with lips ****** off
man with hat

brain imploded
when i lie in bed i feel like shaking and like i might survive
another three days

and half blue woman
bird fed by woman's tears
everything next to my bed is woman's
and tears's and slippery what's really happening
dead fireworks of two dates

the old acid buy me more tides
i am led by the waves and they push me aside
complain that it is not enough

i can keep on coming forever
i can twirl
put my head on while hands and
slip away slowly
a course of history
in which i am ever arriving
nine times complete circles on a
seabed of trick trick
brim stick
wide stick
stick stick to me wisely

i have never heard of morals give me more autumn chill me
shiver my shins sleep in my flesh keep warm with bled blanket that only just fits we sit herded on sofas bigger than psychiatry though it holds us barely
our minds a millennium freestyle
i feel revivable, immortal, extorted
went under in a fortnight
now i feel reborn like Zephyrus
i stride westwards never slowly i am storming on
what were strong teeth and pearl mask
this venus retrograde i am unmasking you
my mouth is a telephone spit line and i will call you tomorrow

my memory is split twice and i will never forget how
we sank deeper into my mattress
lowered into the foam
two froth corpses one bite out of my each of my feet
bottled up scabs to heal something else maybe later i am saving on everything now just in case ploughed down my
plan b capitalism saxophonist co-producer nudess star

reverse of i am ways revisited
sent some string quartets to my past self some poems some antlers and me in a black-and-white dream again reliving the uncontrollable
taste the soap lips eyes inwards finger gun pointed
focussed on myself
my essence is wild picking
flowers off of your back a stroll
a toll on my muscles

i crawl
lift my left leg slightly
bend my fronton backwards

i drink more air craft
restricted
gulping
death metal

i want you to
go inside my room
outlive yourself then go
outside amid plains and forget all of the limb peaks and die then rebirth yourself in the morning climb yourself mount yourself
causal cliff
and in front of me
you are hanging by a thread

do not forget me
as i trickle into your skin
funnel babe
trying to slightly breathe again darkwards we move

(undercover king
under covers will be paradise and
inferno
a wasteland of blankets and spit)

cut off my fingertips and i'll remain Other
and i'll somehow Stain you

and i hold on to the tension
spread it out butter on bread
strange breed that is all there is to say about it

the amount of people who
walk on bare feet i
cannot believe the
fragility in the streets

me: with nausea and extra cover
you: starting and pinning and purring and running
we: twosome group of always more cannibalism

animals and cages we
change constantly

a maybe-core

i hope i will bang my head
on that ******* stone at least
four more times

i hope i will hit my head very hard and will have to endure a lot
and be in pain and bleed from at least four different hotels
i meant to write homes but it corrected itself
because i have turned my homes into hotels
making memories to never tell
but whisper them please

you are not waiting for me and this life is ungrateful
but let me hit my head again
on blue barks and tree branches
of oiled backs well wetted and
move backwards get easy

untangle myself
cross my legs and put another slab
of tongue on my chin
eat me
laminate my body and freeze my soul
there is only one way of having me

even you are aware
i step out of my bed
as if i do not have anything to fall for anymore
as if i am descending
stairs of bubble rooms, clay masques, sundown, saliva, ultra violence

lies there
procrastinates outside
and (as in a dream) no one that was affected by anything other than
the wind

drips southwards
with elevators in rivers
and your finger-claws riding around my
neighbourhood
i will be friendly

when you interrogate me
i will sweetly tie you up
with bow and myrrh
you could be a christmas present at autumn equinox
meaning always keeping the wrong fête in mind
i will resort to dating only palms and knees

total antagonist
repetitious permissive
fantastic utopian
analogue submissive

ask me in time how to dim two lights at once
short buildings
with folded stories

mail me to underground aquaria
see who will take me
honeysuckle my inner thigh

fishnet tights
resist my eyes and trust yourself
******-corner revealed
spotted tattoos in verity
you have four minutes

the fourth one being most crucial
in my crystal castle
medieval Medea versus myself

the peaks of my purple life:
i am reading all of my friends
I SCREEN
i need to fall head forwards and
we are never alone anymore

ADDRESS ME
i am half covered like a geiser
fuming but we'll be able to make out

some form or shape
i am very half covered
a careful mix of red and blue

my thighs available
i return my forgivings at night
nothing counts at night the laws
of life tongue my feet and i
do not trust my second language
for a second

i cannot be undrawn to you
very well understand that i am not
enough malleable to qualify as
co-operative

i want to let my eyes fall down
till i see red veils i stand often in dim light chin up
with my legs small and kneeled
oedipal slits never eroding
a little sage across my bed solely an ode to cleansing

serpent valentine
forever blinded and biting its way through
two layers of black cotton
venomous overtime king with scepter
my neck ornamented almost a warning for casualties

a mindless centenary every second written down on paper
falling notes a rhythm difficult to follow
a corner unfolding metaphysically
toothless symbolism softly smelling of super mist

grey magic
conch shell
chest floored
binary pair of hands collapsing ten seconds at a time
pentacles carved into city-clogged skin
reconnecting to fire almost within reach of
combustion

i often have to search not long but
very hard to find a little integrity left
in my body
and when i wake up i am completely confused because
evening and morning are two loose ends of
the same black hole

every night i lose the feeling in my legs
washed up jelly legs
every morning i wake up all solidified
it takes me over five hours to seal my sheets

"under trees which are still bravely
competing against autumn"
there, i stole your sentence
what's it going to be then, eh?

****** anarchist
we live in a power house greater than this world
i crawl through a hidden door in the attic
little metal plate on my chest
two lightning chambers powered by dark energy
walls dripping smell
of fresh herbs

the window a post for reminiscing
restoration hour

we struggle with red we always have
we tap roses
i am dizzy been drinking coffee
their thorns looking down on us always dominant

my little thorns are so razor
that you can cradle me in both hands splash it
and **** the blood right out of my pinky pinky
and stay cornered

i will recede
until me that you can fit in both hands
or bend until futuristic dreams and i am doing my best to stay rooted
but i like the pain in my toes
cut off the daily worn

i cannot make sense ever
because i see the last of the summer smoke not the windows
i never see through only between
that makes me feel good
because i kiss the sun's reflection without daring to look up

it took me over a month to
crack the puzzle
now i am rolling backwards i am
stone dead flung over you

things are just as they always were

i try to crack my teeth on frozen fruit
strawberries cranberries raspberry the red juices flowing
into my neck cold and numb i want to be
bitten
i used to put my head into the freezer
power food
i cannot keep myself from flowing

I HELD MY BREATH UNTIL I WAS IN
AN EXCRUTIATING PAIN AND I
REALIZED I COULD NEVER
SUFFOCATE MYSELF
THE WAY I SUFFOCATE OTHERS

then i went to our place
screamed my lungs out
then i went home
and that was death

i think the first step will be to realise
that i will never understand myself among others

then i went to our place
smashed all the plates i could find
then i woke up
i was in my own kitchen

I WILL BE LEFT WITH SINGLE WORDS ONLY:

funky
mistress
petulant
asylum

in exactly two days i will have an aneurysm
for now i have taken flight in
between the wall and my wooden bedframe
if i squeeze myself a little
deeper it almost feels like an embrace
i am in too terribly deep
a full moon
everything has come full moon
it is the addiction talking
about this great concern for me
how i kind of still fit in another life
if someone would build a wall between my house and their
backyard then buried
me in the cellar at the neighbours
how i kind of still fit in another life
this great concern for me
if i am coping
if i am over it because it is
over and that needs to be repeated for educational purposes
IT IS OVER
for educational purposes scientific studies perhaps
stop massaging my brain it feels
relaxing but afterwards i cannot tell where i stand
what i want if left is a
nice colour and if i should go
outside tomorrow buy razors or
bottled water or branches stained with blood if i should use real or
fake blood if i should take pictures
am i a colony or a crown
dependency i wish i was queen
WHEN I LOOK DOWN I CANNOT
SEE MY OWN FACE
i carry gemstones in my pockets always
to compensate

excusez-moi and we will talk soon
you need not slice through the jelly ***** of
reality in search of understanding
you need not destroy since everything is
see-through slice your own eyelids start there

you need not break the clouds there
are too many things above the clouds
even when you cannot see them
pulling you towards one direction or another

do you understand that our bodies
are made up of water
bodies of water under directorial reign of the moon

is it really that difficult then to understand the rope you are
holding at full moon? the red paint?
the bare bodies at full rotation
passionately trying to match the speed of the moon
at complete curve
arching backs to receive some more warmth and
the summer is only now coming to an end

can you feel the sharpness of our
breaths that the earth is a ****** globe every
crack inviting to twirl every
cliff asking to get fingered when
storms collide do you not feel heartbroken something
has collapsed within the brain do
you understand you must decide on these things

and the belly stretches out for miles
for you a living bed, organism, blanket
come, sleep in me
come, lay your head down in me

save the anonymous

longing for pink

My mind is a bathtub
Quickly fill up
Momentarily do not look
then clean up the Chaos
she has spilled herself Again
a pity that her surroundings
were Completely unadjusted and
She does not think anymore before doing
she Surrenders

your thought

Now the sea is deepening
so Are my thoughts
i was hoping for a quick recovery but
have to accept
i cannot cope with this

some wound

Please let the neighbourhood know
Again what kind of child
lives among Shells and skeletons
near an imaginary Beach
where another sea waves to itself
and calls For her mother

Strange friend, past, present, and to be;
Loved deeplier, darklier understood;
Behold I dream a dream of good;
And mingle all the world with thee;

THAT NIGHT WAS
A FRAIL ANIMAL
LIGHT BULB IN THE BACK OF HER HEAD
A LITTLE SQUEAMISH
AND IN THE PROCESS OF FALLING

ALWAYS THE FALLING
SHE ALLOWS THE RED FLAMES TO LICK HER
AND NEVER GETTING UP ON TIME
SHE SQUEEZES A TUBE OF PAINT
AND COMMENCES HER RITUAL

BLACK ANTS OCCUPY THE KITCHEN
WITH WHICH SHE FILLS HER STOMACH
SOMEONE WANTS TO COME IN
TAKE HER ARMS SOME PLACE HIGH AND DRY
THEY WERE PAINTED RED FIVE THICK COATS

1.black lipstick
2.see-through dress
3.rosemary, strand
4.tap water+tired eyes
6.pain, stomach

i will just do my evening walk
it has become kind of a routine
every time something releases itself
from my city-clogged skin
it wants to be free
and is soluble i can see
it drifting in the air
i wonder what i am losing

THERE STILL IS NOTHING GUILTY
TO BE SAID ABOUT YOU
BITE ME HARDER THEN
THERE ARE TWO MOONS TUMBLING
I AM ALWAYS TOO MUCH
I RETURN TO THE FROZEN LAKE
BEFORE WHICH I LEARNT TO BE LIKE A PAINTING
AND EVERYTHING IS QUIET
HERE IT IS AGAIN
THE NIGHT IS OVERWHELMING
LET US TEAR IT APART IN UNISON
OTHERWISE WE WILL DROWN

surely i am the Moon Queen
surely my back itched
how did you expect me not to be
my long paragraphs about my
desire for water were not only witness to a great
desire in me they also understood that i need to dip my fingers
how my back ached wishing it could press tighter against my heart
i need warm bare flesh
another form of protection

surely my desire to change the past cannot move backwards
it bounces back into my chest and mind and hits and hits
we are two swans
elegant and defending another fort both widowed
black swans
that might have been the reason why

surely when the fire dies it still
is ardent among the ashes
for a long time