and she is skinny like a deer so she can find the holes in my heart and set foot in them it is winter again
and you bend forward so much more from where i can see you
it is the slowest kind of pain
that you clean your blackest dishes with

THE WHOLE HOUSE OF THE AIR AND THE WATER IS FILTHY
I WILL TAKE THE ROOF AND SPLIT YOU THROUGH IT YOU JUST WATCH OUT YOU JUST WATCH OUT

i mean i HAVE TO GET DESTROYED SOMEHOW i will never have been happier then
me eating your teeth in bed (i will **** you in bed)
you being a mirror towards eternity (in a film that cools down)
you cool down towards the end it is winter again

Marai whispered that towards the end I will remember the beginning powerfully and clearly again
right now i am puzzling the stars pulling energetic lemons into my mouth so i can make strange faces and slap and laugh

mankind in sleeves so atypical it is winter again
it is too cold to be honest to myself
not cold enough to drag myself through that death-chamber
i am crawling towards something else
something so completely devoid of coming home and dinner i
will only have to stretch one finger-punch to touch ice

how have there been nights creating space
a vault of valued silver neck---lace play button play to me
toy tutorial: how to choke me and it is hours after midnight
i am alone in my room uncloaked my pictures upon tiny tiny windows i like to lick the blood out of the slits
grow slimes after midnight like a snail click click the right things and sadden

can i sink my fangs and hydrated as it is
a wet house all of the wallpaper ruined of bottles and of men
i hate that feeling when i put my head down and that is the last thing there is nothing nothing no struggle no bodies and legs
all anger aside i must admit
me all nails and fury me all small fit below the waist die gaily then

has anyone read anything on free will or has anyone stayed or left or has anyone survived can i lend out my own copy of free will two pages high look up the line across my back have you tried to follow me before foresting in motion
**** me in my feelings i have been begging the new moon for a new moon but IT HAS NEVER APPEARED BEFORE ME

IS THERE ANYONE I CAN HIGHLIGHT IN PURPLE AND OR IS THERE ANYONE I CAN PUT MY BACK AGAINST WHO IS WILLING TO LAY A FINGER ON ME

AND I FEEL BETRAYED should i always be banned
me me in shadows i am aware i have gotten dark i have not given permission for deep-rope-denied-roulette-gratuit-whir-phantasma

EVERYONE ON THIS SLUMP STAGE IS HIDING THEIR FINGERS IN MY MOUTH ONE TO ONE TO ONE I CAN NEVER SEE THE FACE THE FACE HURTS TOO MUCH IT IS THE RED FILTER THE EXPENSIVE ONE AND I CANNOT USE TOO MUCH OF IT IT FALLS BEFORE ME I BREAK MY KNEE-CAPS THANK YOU THANK YOU IT WAS WONDERFUL

my name is ssssss-sweetness all of a sudden
i stand before you and i am so mad i want to break your face-jaw neck-jaw your everything-jaw my name is pinky pinky and mutilation is satiric and narcissistic GO BECOME SICK OF IT AND I WILL SICK AND **** YOU AND THE HINT IS IT WILL CHANGE NOW THE SMELL IS AWAITED and the blood will be beautiful

and will be replenishing i give me another three months do you like my invention please jealous you until you open again
the demon does not possess me and does not wish to thus i received
in a letter from hell thank you thank you it was miserably ethereal

you lick the inside of your cheek
it is warmer in there and
softer and pink secretly
without you having to admit to anyone
which wound you have picked at again

that you do not want to listen to acoustic anymore because
that too is too sweet
you understand the sign of the times
clocked in the ears until
they bleed

and letting go of hands does not hurt
it is cold this time of
year that is why you lick the inside of your
cheek
only the
stretching of the muscles

it is normal to
cool off your head
in the freezing northern breeze
a brisk walk or it is normal
to warm up your red ears
on the stove

like a flavourful dish
and never talk in any case
during family diner
fists hooked behind the back
about what is banging inside

spread out your mouth
spit the streets
the tongue a tracking device
carry me now bed-like
four legged somewhere in a
corner and your entire
body weight planted over me
and do not heat spinach in the microwave
the iron will grow eyes
my back has grown at least three
eyes and my thighs are a compliment
i slit myself no mercy
novelty for free
paper of five and half a kilometer
i sleep near sudoku
while you learn foreign affairs by heart
and i am not choosing a theme and i
am still a thief stole your inner knee
am somewhere ******* myself
paint my face
paint my face
paint my face an axe at my ears
my blood a poem
hello who is this i cannot hear you
i cannot comprehend you too well
i fold dead corners like Frankenstein
it is October and five and twenty degrees and
the summer love still not over
and i wind down the wind it will be alright
turn away lurid child the things around here
they just are and
no one that pays attention to them

so drop me
spit me
taste me trench-like
tear away at the restraints
they call the borders
devour the borders

apostel
do not feed me insulation
parade thee wide piped

rain-dropped down locks
in window reflection
functionally i become fur
keep thee warm

she sees she sees
she statutes stoically

every day i pass the same
**** statue
of a cat
licking her paw

she sees she sees
she knows endurance

but i love that drowning
i step out of the shower and feel as if
i could never be absolutely clean
complete skin removal might do me justice
i would have to become a shade of myself
as would be the ashes of a fire
swatched on my upper arm that i will
always burn some way or other
that i am marked but my whole life is
grey and i choose high and low so often
that i feel like i am venturing on a median wave
never knowing what my destiny is

soon i will be nineteen and
we will celebrate my slow decay and everyone
will laugh at me but to me it is all very real
that it is a criminal offence the amount
of times i say goodbye and hello again
that my hair loops but never when i want it to
always when i want it to be downwards
that i sell conversations and flats on sundays
and my nails on every other day
i try to scratch every vulture i meet
breadth of two meters it is stretched from pillow on my bed to beak in my appendix
breath of ten seconds and then i shed my skin
completely take possession of the vulture’s body
it is me who is flying

vision serpent
i might be liquid now and frozen tomorrow or
that might never happen global warming
curdles in my stomach i tried to throw up
but my body does not trust me like it used to
i am glue now somewhere
in between Sisyphus’ rock and Narcissus’ puddle
neither solid and sweeping
nor soft standing still
i look into a crystal ball and see myself
i drink loose tea and the leaves are like my limbs always sinking
i read my tarot and keep a careful eye on the stars and avoid dark nights and being alone and it is always me like a little lucifer carrying inferno online like an application
******* obligation
only some god shoots the food right
in front of his eyes

you can see them
you can see them
the nails they pin everything to
the wall next to my bed
father and child unlooking
i am misery and blurry hands and fingered
hands
and woman with mask
woman with lips ****** off
man with hat

brain imploded
when i lie in bed i feel like shaking and like i might survive
another three days

and half blue woman
bird fed by woman's tears
everything next to my bed is woman's
and tears's and slippery what's really happening
dead fireworks of two dates

the old acid buy me more tides
i am led by the waves and they push me aside
complain that it is not enough

i can keep on coming forever
i can twirl
put my head on while hands and
slip away slowly
a course of history
in which i am ever arriving
nine times complete circles on a
seabed of trick trick
brim stick
wide stick
stick stick to me wisely