It was finished @ the start and words were never enough-
Counter production @ it's finest and I sit still for additional anguish- Fortifications must be built and weathering conditions continue on-
Time tested with no where to go but ahead of schedule-
bent, broken and alone- Again...

It was me all of the time. I was at the center of everything when the news hit. Rock ****** hard in the murky pools of the Chesapeake while I looked overboard longing for an evasive maneuver. ******* it hurt so much that I felt my teeth chatter and my lungs expand so rapidly that my eye sockets welled. My arms ached and my fists clenched at the idea of nothingness that lay ahead. The swell of the tide would drag me deeper and deeper into the green until all that was me existed no more.

Transplanting is sometimes devious
Removal of what was supposed to work
Powers being re-situated hurriedly
None of us really understanding why...

In case she saw through my backward tilt I made a double latched handle for extra security. It had two dead bolts. In her mind and in his were pathways still existent by voices bouncing off the wood paneled walls. In the dark recesses of yesterday it became evident that friendships can exist not just from talking robotic tablet keys but faint little pictures in the minds eye.

and on to the next one and then to the next one, and then another and maybe another, never quite enough, just as a mosquito suckles the ankles remarkably akin to my work related habits. Which meals do I detest the most? The lemon & orange cream sauce or a lightly scented skin sample from the feline named Jezebel?

Years back I wrote you and found that you had vanished. We were supposed to be family  closer than actual siblings but shared no blood. I thought I see you grow. 25 years has passed and I found you again but hesitate I must. We were supposed to watch each other's back, we had plans to watch our families evolve. One day you vanished without even a call. Soon so did I, not by choice but local distress and the birth of my 1st born. Now I have 2 children and both are grown.  

I saw your family with you yesterday in pictures,  I cruised through your photos while my eyes watered and my heart further blackened. Where did you go sister? We were preteens, we were high school graduates then off to college. Why won't you see me, hear me? This hurts more than I can take.  Where are u???

Who is this Jimmy Charles character?  Always repeating the fold until it comes undone.
So the word (Seriously) come to mind. Use of this word in the English language is becoming habitual in my head so much so I'm writing this **** down to confirm that I'm actually currently thinking of the word Seriously and certain that I am serious about this.   Fn Jimmy Charles.

So I crept up on her with a box full of yarn
and I slept around in her because it was ripe for the taking
and the trust that developed became sunshine, water and sugar crystals-
and now that the moment has temporarily snagged I may begin to sleep without raging paralysis - to not succumb in gloom  

Tree branches swell with September antidotes inside my temporal lobe and my ears continue to falter in the strength of today- because I've been here already- and my mind's made up of past anti-pretenses of that box full of yarn and it makes me cringe.   Shall I shout out loud or keep it to myself

I do need this and I will have it my way inwards and outwards
seeing for the first time  

...You

Of the spider
you will be one with the nemesis of its web.
Scratch at the sky and bring down the sun
In keeping with her jaw line...

sitting- staring being here right now
caring- loud enough to myself-in my head
grinding and chewing at my inner cheek- waiting for those pancakes
sipping- at my cafe the dry dark roast expresso from a can- it was frozen by my doing
I am a liar and I am a swooner- to myself I list these articles

be where your heart tells you to be- sing songs that make you a memory-
uncategorize your heart and be free...

Big Phat Pecker! Puckity Pootersmish

Rah Rah Rah,  Owllllllllooooof,  yeaaaag.

Big Phat Pecker

He was under 30, had kids. Loved to cook and bake. We smoked those bluntz! We talked and had conversations about all types of ****. He lived and breathed, he was a plump light skinned brother who lived and died being himself...     BLACK

My dude got shot dead in Baltimore 2 days back. Apparently the 5 0 refused medical attention until paramedics got there,  so my boy died because of fn politics.
...BLACK

This guy this dude! Making it look hard and impossible. Doubled over and bent in shapes unimaginable were the roots of exposed pixies. Candace walked by and grabbed the bucket that swung above the Walmart wall clock.

All of this happening during the eclipse of evil. Manifestations of the cosmic peanut are now common to the average eye. On the Daily. Eventually coming forth to end all of this is Mr.Brock Sawyers Esquire. He leaned in and imprinted his legacy within the conversation

Conceptualize,  Intellectual Stiffs and so and so. No more beasts of burden ridden by yellow pompous Jack & Jill's during the winter.  Yelp tells exactly 💯% of what anyway.

I woke up as usual but this time gots to leave earlier
have to make breakfast and lunch, I'm gonna cook it myself - but at a friend's house.
I've been starving lately because my poverty is brought on by my living art form. People thinks it cool- others may think it bogus- while she says she loves it.
It defines me- my hunger for words and ink and food!
I need it to survive...

I've slept way to less because of your false tales. My livelihood is forever threatened. I cannot forgive,  I will never forget!
Soon I will again breach those mountains and lay dormant however this time I've devised your demise. The 4 of you will never again smell the fresh air only the dirt as it covers your choking breath.
I've longed for this moment,  very soon all of you willnot even be a memory.  Your blood will boil. Your graves will be desecrated and your offspring tarnished. You are Death.

Chocolate cake and blow jobs always help me when I'm feeling blue.

*inspired through life's experiences

I crept in late that night and was mesmerized by you. I kissed your brain through your hips that always lead to ur lips and make it springtimes forward to winter for long whiles to maybes with salt skin and ocean reefs breath. I don't wanna go but I’ve been drawn back to some anatomical physical trend that I will live my rest (ofs) with. I don't need a bankroll any longer because in this moment u can fill that void with architecture of a minds daily picture. It’s a violation I so enjoi.

Scraping by on pennies added to dimes with 25 cent pieces in the           laundry mat- sure to make fine dining at a cost of some old sailor who’s early retirement was all but his own

Killed in the heart but @ the mercy of men and fielded in newspapers swept under the cold damp dank swell of emotion- and (I) enjoi the cafe immensely

Candles burned and tuna can saliva made for glossed over window sills

So I've seen your art and watched your story
your dark skin and night shade hair tied back thicken in sweat
entangled,    I am drawn in

It's an emotional outcry when I feel what I see and listen to the speakers bang-
I am the one tied back, arms burning legs ripped apart
festering mold addict...

Tortured soul cry- Wheaties all over again with a snow embossed bowl spelling out a Saturday Evening Post article

Ok- so my visions (optics) are ******* my expeditions are undefined
unrelated to consequences but at least they are mine (treasure).

I feel irrational (abandoned) sometimes so at void but in disarray (snarl)... I hurt -Foundations are in rapid decay Everyday (prosaic).

I traveled on college campuses and saw love, I saw inspirations and aspirations of knowledge (expertise) and I (myself)
viewed (observed perceived examined) mans view of **** and working class structure (CHAOS maybe?).

What is contained (incorporate) within my lines of verse
Is it a call to action which is parallel and no rhythm (cadence)
there is no form to this!!!!!!!!!!

again and again again again again- REFRESH

It's become common throughout this beings time that loneliness is what it is to be alone.  Stay in line walk the path of least resistance while feuding with oneself.  Only to find broken fences that no one else care to fix.

Ape **** and vegetables on a plate - but not for dessert
you mean nothing to me - it is your version that is detestable.
Critical Memoirs

And to stand on your stool and mention nothing but gasps of air
while nostril hair floats on by and you mimic yourself.
Eat me plain and continuous...

so goes the bizarre world---go geek out

And a dilemma is?  Fixing the cafe while preparing your breakfast shake so elegantly. Hurriedly to turn on the news upon the squashed HD  as you settle down on the white roundy, the sound turned down just enough not to wake the neighbors. Where has this life taken me?
Dark dank daily routines...

I am angry that I cannot die. I am angry that I cannot know.
I am committed to this life by finances, familia and debt rationing
Will I stay or will I go???  This is nothing new...

To understand the mentally unfit you must first understand everything about yourself. I don't know much.

Love is forever bonded to the acts of *** ******. I feel the molten ****** when I'm being hung in the tree first by one leg and then the other. Skin is often tight around the abs and sweltering ******* but loosened when gripped by the mouth. Sometimes when the breeze hits you right, the body then begins to shake. How long does it take the human form to bleed out once being bitten by a land-shark?

If I could gather up screenshots and page through them as if they were crumpled up musings I would do this for you. With no care for heat nor rain or tree sapling twigs overgrown in my forest that was unnamed.

Your still and always 📉 losing . Paint them with their own blood. You mean nothing

Your still and always  losing . Paint them with their own blood. You mean nothing

Cant be in and around her when I wanted to had to get inside her head and feel around. My MissC.  ...Messages being sent out through airwaves tapped on the compu screen. Like lady bugs in the first taste of desperation. She climbed through the mystical time piece and ate at my lungs. In the end she was to be near...always

Spaghetti worms put into place feeling  me rapture in the tall glassed enclosure of whiskey

It comes to mind that drinking such things will never cease my thirst but enhance my visions til the resting place becomes  in tune  & clear-  much more obvious

Cannibalism is a far reach from eating the fowl that splits my tongue and salivates my juices as I enter the rock fish bottom- No strings attached and it is now a jar of clay--

No connection --- only the dots pass me by

If a cat makes its life as a hunter and not the hunted so can a human
become so fixated for the **** that they lust for a taste. Strip away @
anything and you can get something for nothing ...nothing but a taste of juicy hostility and a poisoned arrow. Sin away! Meow

I've got nothing. In the world of words and here I exist non-complacent,ready to jump into anything.... I sat with a flower and it only outdid me. I once turned down a flame and it bumped up and burnt me. I took a leap of faith and it leaped up and bit me. How did he do and who did he do it to to make it all surreal?

I'm not a perfect picture, I'm not always an inspiration  I don't have perfect pitch, but I'm close because I try.

as I'm ferociously attacking the windmills

food and ****
**** and food
both have 2 o's

they will never believe you
it will be hard and a push for them to perceive you
and bunny's will come to your viewing

its a matter of fact and fiction
sales tactics and diction
a scepter in a kings hand with directness and prowl

and what about now?

hopping from building to bridge- window sills
living on bread, juice and liquor store discounts
candy apples @ a apple blossom fair... WITH
Ezra, MariAnn, Jackieboy @ hands length

say that again?

I got one for that rooftop and more for loose teeth
six pence worth of flattery for an old millstone worker whose jaws flap in anticipation of a non existent paycheck
hes tired of Malt-O-Meal

Forgiveness is abandoned absolutes.

However by definition,

"Disillusionment" is

disappointment resulting from the discovery that something is not as good as one believed it to be.

Her heroic efforts make 4 a great escape in the midst of that see through skirt.  Pessimistic and wise true to itself.

Clay shaped human
a cat sitting at the well and licks away
I stand before you sifting and measuring      No!
time to sit is not fathomable and I am still alone-
again my café sits beside me-

You ******* of social light!-  so much detest- with words
engrossed conjecture but substitute, ( no gasp you fools...)  in me?
I want; I need a STOP sign to ingest the evil doers here.

so again I stand before you sitting and measuring

park it ******!
In an instant it was loud and the pops began to deceive deception in itself and i needed to get away...
but i didn't
The gigs are all long gone and sunsets are no more- Do i go in or just play in the barren water?
Salt in both of our eyes and gliding over her wet hair was that natures thing called wind.

As I look down I see the concrete rushing in and I trust it

As I see a housing market crumble and food lines fill...I see the concrete rushing in
The man @ the end of the street strangled his dog to avoid future vet bills and the local fruit market closed down due to food borne illness....I see the concrete rushing in
He says he wants to build us a wall to keep the filth out and
I say So be it!  
In the name of revolution can we convey the messages of free enterprise with our fenced in resources? -...and I just allowed the conjugated verbs.

I see the concrete rushing in and I trust it

Your religions are my prisons and I paid for this gasoline.

These bodies that scream for their freedoms can be incinerated.

Your abortion is another person's salvation. Gun buybacks are fun.

Self inflicted stab wounds
Gun shots to the abdomen
Nakedness in birth, Nakedness in death... how smooth.

A Japanese forest with thoughtfulness and a dock workers greed$ = ?

Shotgun shells ejected from the wrong side. Antihero is the new norm, assisted suicides aren't given enough thought.

No true direction in a american constitution, preached political institution from your empty churches. I can smell the mosques and crosses burned.

**** ****! **** and with any luck let the LGBTQ teach your children to ****. Metal Detectors are a menace but it's OK because all downed planes have the black box.

Fender Mo Shu?  Fender Mo Shu!
Scraps pelting me from above- this conversation could take 20 to 30 minutes. Do you have that kind of time available?
... and I just met Larry Cherry @ the local carnival stand. His old frame stands at half tilt and his feeble bones creak as he swings the 10lb hammer down to connect up to the chime prize. Ding! zip zap sounds resonate as his eyes wide shut contemplate his success, and then it was over.

I have had to watch you walk on by as I bare witness to your *** stained ******* found under my mattress.  I smell your blonde hair and sometimes weep alone as I know you **** him hard along the roadside. It does me no kindness to aerosol the hallways but it helps me function as I break your black eyeliners and grind away @ mirrors that I otherwise would have smashed.
I am to you as dead as the night as air is to a lifeless corpse.

I had it all or so I believed. Impartial were my thoughts at most things yet left empty standing inside the outside.

I never grasped prosperity or the ingenuity of know how.
I enjoyed the falsehoods less the wiser as I ignored logic and claimed prominence.

The thick rope now engulfs me with the familiar circle called meaning. My fingers cramp and my teeth are yellow with worn out gums.

Was I the salesmen or was I the commoner?

Please don't cage me up, Ive got a million things to say
You and I felt the same when we broke it down that day
Let's keep it real and sometimes fragile your lips would tremble the words   I probably paid no attention because to me you were frugal and absurd.
Wanna share this bowl of cherries with me babes, No,Ive got no time for u
Have these reports, chores and school work to finish, gdamn where were you.
It's really getting cold in here baby can you feel the chill in the air
Not really sweets she said to me as her exotic curves grazed the chair
Where were you when I needed you when I cried out for you in fright
I'm not to sure what mean honey you know I was with you last night
You know to come to think of it, it is getting cold in here                   especially when you prefer other naked bodies shivering wet with fear
It's like this coil of rope that I have so I can more thoroughly reflect
but now I understand more fully it was put here for my neck
You don't ******* need me and you sure as hell don't care, whether I live or die tomorrow as long as you brush your hair.
So I live these last moments for you and the dreams I had for us and the self pity and gluttony can now be over and you can finish the trust.

I saw it in a mirror ball

Where did you get that face? And how can I erase it from my data bank- Pious, shallow and naive- all put together to make a bouncy ball that I pick at & chew when I'm in a self-medicated daze.
I saw it all in a mirror ball

Crammed up in this space- legs getting stiff, unused- I am a shell of a pathetic liar, a man who’s groomed himself to be accepted, to be left alone- The wave length of my concentration has reverted into this so called malnutrition soul of ADHD, stereotypical in regards to daily     diagnosis by many- says a head nurse.

I type here and glance at the television and see mouth movements and hand gestures- the volume is on MUTE...and I see playing kittens.

I saw it all in a mirror ball