I feel like a peanut! that's been recently shelled- all inside the peanut butter! and under this fn roof that's not ablaze- that's not with cinder –
all while my brain is becoming liquefied to which I am now going to be connected- to what degree can I continue to learn about things in a world that accepts me and then rejects me in bitter tongues..

Residual melodies

Clay shaped human
a cat sitting at the well and licks away
I stand before you sifting and measuring      No!
time to sit is not fathomable and I am still alone-
again my café sits beside me-

You ******* of social light!-  so much detest- with words
engrossed conjecture but substitute, ( no gasp you fools...)  in me?
I want; I need a STOP sign to ingest the evil doers here.

so again I stand before you sitting and measuring

winds sweet with her residue make for a pleasant evening and I could do this forever.

Ape **** and vegetables on a plate - but not for dessert
you mean nothing to me - it is your version that is detestable.
Critical Memoirs

And to stand on your stool and mention nothing but gasps of air
while nostril hair floats on by and you mimic yourself.
Eat me plain and continuous...

so goes the bizarre world---go geek out

Overzealous and underdressed I have no home to call my own, so where has my benevolence gone? Am I an antiquity, am I a forgotten lost treasure of a long ago age where beauty explodes feverishly in a raw
******* ****?  Silken sunken memoirs deep within the pastings of grimy faced lullaby’s etched away in a dust covered passion book called familiar.

My stance on infections can sometimes be a bit overzealous, well...
because I’m searching for that country live wire.

I want u @ 1030am on an early fall morning in some desolate forest
park.

Windbreakers and kisses

If a cat makes its life as a hunter and not the hunted so can a human
become so fixated for the **** that they lust for a taste. Strip away @
anything and you can get something for nothing ...nothing but a taste of juicy hostility and a poisoned arrow. Sin away! Meow

sitting- staring being here right now
caring- loud enough to myself-in my head
grinding and chewing at my inner cheek- waiting for those pancakes
sipping- at my cafe the dry dark roast expresso from a can- it was frozen by my doing
I am a liar and I am a swooner- to myself I list these articles

I crept in late that night and was mesmerized by you. I kissed your brain through your hips that always lead to ur lips and make it springtimes forward to winter for long whiles to maybes with salt skin and ocean reefs breath. I don't wanna go but I’ve been drawn back to some anatomical physical trend that I will live my rest (ofs) with. I don't need a bankroll any longer because in this moment u can fill that void with architecture of a minds daily picture. It’s a violation I so enjoi.

...and as I saw her again, it was in a flash that I remembered my obsession for her dark hair and witty lines, her brisk walk abouts while turning me inside out with her tasteful lips that spewed sensual happenings that I can never have. If I were to reach out and grab @ that which is not mine I would still starve until food replenished was burnt away seeing only fingertips that are empty.

park it ******!
In an instant it was loud and the pops began to deceive deception in itself and i needed to get away...
but i didn't
The gigs are all long gone and sunsets are no more- Do i go in or just play in the barren water?
Salt in both of our eyes and gliding over her wet hair was that natures thing called wind.

Had it never occurred that I needed you. My washed up face and energies spent on the splashed and slashed price tags of our youth. The cigarette toasties and the perfumed hallways melted in the background of the wooden spoked wheel. Looking strangled from the hung & hitched ceramic body with incense laden sprawled askew I can now appreciate what that once was. Plaster always surrounded us in our uniformed uninformed day by dazed existence that went on to makeup our evolutionary now that is. I went my way and you yours and I fear forever that our paths may never cross. I recall this blue and silver pen that I received from my father years back...and like you, it is also non replicable and irreplaceable. Like Clouds for all but gone.

I am not him
I am not the reason you wake up and I am not eligible to feel
I am not your world and I am not your baby's breath
I am not him
I came into what is to be called ???
un·fath·om·a·ble


A weapon of your desire and a torn up wet nap

when I see you -spit forms in my mouth
when I breath you- my arms expand towards the sunlight aiming at the trees and snow that falls on my circulating veins -inside ME!
when I see you- my heartfelt life serum works itself out
and as I list to myself the ways in which I digest you, ingest your curves,
I find your movements habitual---
I cannot cram you into a box or a cylinder tube...

when I see you- I mock myself in my minds mirror
when I need you- it's not really, because I soothe my own emotions
not in depth @ all but with the sensation of feeling
Liquor and winding roads make for a great windblown wood stove
during a wisp- that in which you prove to be a folklore

So I've seen your art and watched your story
your dark skin and night shade hair tied back thicken in sweat
entangled,    I am drawn in

It's an emotional outcry when I feel what I see and listen to the speakers bang-
I am the one tied back, arms burning legs ripped apart
festering mold addict...

Tortured soul cry- Wheaties all over again with a snow embossed bowl spelling out a Saturday Evening Post article

eat away @ your sins my children- be it as they shall seek slim pants and forclosed homes- banks fold and my eyes weep crusted salt crimson shards- my time here is so far gone and who is more happy than the demon whose grasp is upon a complete stranger called mocking infatuation. Be it not long that night turns on to forever. My penance will never be enough

If I could gather up screenshots and page through them as if they were crumpled up musings I would do this for you. With no care for heat nor rain or tree sapling twigs overgrown in my forest that was unnamed.

yea, it can be a beat up world, though its full of deep ends plight
shallow words two fold scant clad in cup cake platters, but it don't matter as long as the maze commander gets his due, of course who will see it through, you? Obnoxious peasant girls tap on your window feeling you from the inside out star gazing into your eyes glistening as they fade from ocean blue to gray...listening. I want this so much and to adore you is rapture as my heart is torrid in the burning of your lips... In your grips.  To hard is the moment when I found that the nemesis was in the tree bark that held hand carved letters that said...nothing. I am inspired by the corpse of photosynthesis. I am in need of the next level of ingenuity that you created for me, beside me, around me... You stood within me. What good is music when the love I had for it in the feeling I get from it only was to be enhanced when your hand found the inside of mine. People are naturally drawn to white doves because it speaks to them softly, but why do I prefer blackbirds then? ...Tiny rain drops fell here. Why do I get the impression you're still not listening... to me. Why do I keep on trying to give you all that is possible... from me. Will you not listen to me, is it so impossible for you to want to be with me... just me?

Of the spider
you will be one with the nemesis of its web.
Scratch at the sky and bring down the sun
In keeping with her jaw line...

There are many ways to change the course of American history without really doing anything and since violence and discrimination are all used up. I have a new one. Wait and see... It involves LOVE

quite possibly, ok?  so much angst right here, I run, I speculate, and spit on the ground, -because mother nature is around me and sees me in frequencies yet corresponds with my nobody but me tendencies.

been looking at this **** and hearing the spirals.
informing each other of human natures past denials
we have all the tapes and we made all the measures ...for completion
in the words of the few and the actions of many, there is no trifecta.
only deleting and rebuilding, constructing and destroying
making papers out of people...

Love is forever bonded to the acts of *** ******. I feel the molten ****** when I'm being hung in the tree first by one leg and then the other. Skin is often tight around the abs and sweltering ******* but loosened when gripped by the mouth. Sometimes when the breeze hits you right, the body then begins to shake. How long does it take the human form to bleed out once being bitten by a land-shark?

For the days to come by and my spirit awakening I am forever guided by truths be witnessed. For my words that I say and the actions that I display it is my face I have to contend with...not yours! My face is the curse...

So I crept up on her with a box full of yarn
and I slept around in her because it was ripe for the taking
and the trust that developed became sunshine, water and sugar crystals-
and now that the moment has temporarily snagged I may begin to sleep without raging paralysis - to not succumb in gloom  

Tree branches swell with September antidotes inside my temporal lobe and my ears continue to falter in the strength of today- because I've been here already- and my mind's made up of past anti-pretenses of that box full of yarn and it makes me cringe.   Shall I shout out loud or keep it to myself

I do need this and I will have it my way inwards and outwards
seeing for the first time  

...You

Please don't cage me up, Ive got a million things to say
You and I felt the same when we broke it down that day
Let's keep it real and sometimes fragile your lips would tremble the words   I probably paid no attention because to me you were frugal and absurd.
Wanna share this bowl of cherries with me babes, No,Ive got no time for u
Have these reports, chores and school work to finish, gdamn where were you.
It's really getting cold in here baby can you feel the chill in the air
Not really sweets she said to me as her exotic curves grazed the chair
Where were you when I needed you when I cried out for you in fright
I'm not to sure what mean honey you know I was with you last night
You know to come to think of it, it is getting cold in here                   especially when you prefer other naked bodies shivering wet with fear
It's like this coil of rope that I have so I can more thoroughly reflect
but now I understand more fully it was put here for my neck
You don't ******* need me and you sure as hell don't care, whether I live or die tomorrow as long as you brush your hair.
So I live these last moments for you and the dreams I had for us and the self pity and gluttony can now be over and you can finish the trust.

I came and I came all over the place and frothy split lips are now blue
with all and my without I scream at you.
Go!

To the corner store we went to buy pencils and scrap book glue and I folded the papers I mended into failed attempts at flightless airplanes.
still Go!

I know that I can't love you right but I do care how it breaks you and I stay because its clean. Nothing is sharp here, not even my tongue dulled from months wasted into years.
so Climb!

Out of immediate danger but into eventual peril I seek lost dark waves of useless swagger like some kind of slim slick slatter word forever ****** but not to much
Don't!

End this calmly with the turn of a page and a tiny thin glass shard
because I love her

time helps is what they say.
green is the reflection that the water makes
and you are in reflection and in the senses.
in the sense I can still smell you and in every word I repeat u keep coming up somewhere and somehow in everything.

I am alone here but maybe that was the problem u had with me.
I was physical, I was present but not available.
Marry me to the social objects I prefer and Marry me away to someone elses availability. Marry me to my own earthly pleasures.
Marry me to the ground I walk on, but don't enlist me to commitment that leads to containment... because it is finished.

(Gotta have life insurance to be a responsible person in today's society)      "Need to be clean cut and tight lipped to get where you want" said the 5ft 9' ******* on the street corner who just sold me a dime store pen. " Gotta take the ins and outs like a man and worm your way through these hapless streets EVEN when you don't have to!" The more the relentless vagabond spoke, the more I wanted to lash out and dice up his tongue as a blender would @ three speed. But I didn't. I held back. Kept hearing this faint melody in my brain with words spinning round and round. "Tick tock, tick tock, what a **** a doodle doo making a run for it, a run for it, a run for it, may day, may day, may dayyyyyyy".  I really do like the early spring month's.

In case she saw through my backward tilt I made a double latched handle for extra security. It had two dead bolts. In her mind and in his were pathways still existent by voices bouncing off the wood paneled walls. In the dark recesses of yesterday it became evident that friendships can exist not just from talking robotic tablet keys but faint little pictures in the minds eye.

U r amazing like the see through- a couple of mirrors lay shattered in the middle room while whole grain rice gets eaten - a midnight snack is consumed.  It’s the time when alarm clocks send blue chimes and ****** up the new sounds of the day. It has been seized tossed and contained.

lemon and limes, oranges with juju beans and everything in between. u me and a shark movie.

I  send out my love to all of you anywhere and everywhere- somewhere in the dark and in the daylight we can meet again.

Saw you once in the distance sitting on a swing your body making movements that I liked.

Your skirt bustling and your lips parted just right.

Bright red satiny crisp apples falling from the trees and cotton spiders shimmering through the air being splintered by the sunlight.

This is my home and I'm coming back to you

Sparingly  Sparingly  Sparingly  F@ ***.
Its obvious the squalor that the platypus lives.  Arp Arp Arp drka doop!

Scrub that ****** soul
there are no guarantees
you can only die!

Scream @ times sleep @ times
be mellow don't be mellow
color within the lines

put yourself in front
your IQ is what? Paper or plastic?
Email me with your information

love can be heartless and cold laying dormant until awakend from its own anxiety...

What do I got, I HAVE...huh? and this is where Im at now in the middle of a pawn shop selling the gold from some dead relatives past life- SCREAMING inside my head, POUNDING away at my insides and my muscles ache from a hard days baked goods-  She winces just a little and enough that I notice her jealousy of my wit and declaration of her character flaws- WHO ARE YOU? she calls out but I don't listen and the pathways I once knew now are drowned out by the fear that another soul close to me withers away-moves on- blocks me out-so far gone

If I am indeed mad then let my madness reign- if my madness dictates ur jollys... well then my good sir, u r indeed mad too

in a cool nights air she took on the comfort of her bed and rested her weary head and gasped for air convincingly because she yearned for the smoothness of the sheets to suit her evening ritual...of sleep

How can we learn to love if loves been redefined in real time?

Her heroic efforts make 4 a great escape in the midst of that see through skirt.  Pessimistic and wise true to itself.

Its all tight in here, not to terribly bad ,not always comfortable
I can probably fit maybe,... 2 more in with some movement, sssshhhaaaa,
Ok that will be just about right,   yeaaaa a little moreover your way..little bit more, keep moving, keep moving, yea yea yea just a little more space for me is all I  really need. Yeaaaaaaaa that's fine. Ok Ok Ok, lo siento, one more inch will do.  Thank You.

My love for you is useful, my lungs my cells and my blood.

... A lifetime lifeline ...

Cant be in and around her when I wanted to had to get inside her head and feel around. My MissC.  ...Messages being sent out through airwaves tapped on the compu screen. Like lady bugs in the first taste of desperation. She climbed through the mystical time piece and ate at my lungs. In the end she was to be near...always

Conceptualize,  Intellectual Stiffs and so and so. No more beasts of burden ridden by yellow pompous Jack & Jill's during the winter.  Yelp tells exactly 💯% of what anyway.

I am angry that I cannot die. I am angry that I cannot know.
I am committed to this life by finances, familia and debt rationing
Will I stay or will I go???  This is nothing new...

in the middle of this life I will never be undone by you...

SADNESS is not = to being full of ****!

In that library in that film he stood - the librarian stated that the professors original notes,books of interest and other things of consequence lay just upstairs and inside that room. "Can I look @ them?" Mr Hart asked. "No! unless you have specific privileges or the written consent from the professor himself."

The room in this basement is unkept and unknown. It smells of decay with no direction. Am I to allow it to go unnoticed or bellow out into its darkness.  Be gone with its squalor and heart with no body with depths of depression below.
  Get out!  Go!  No more!   I long for fear and graditude as I shut the door.