I feel as though the sun is trying to push its way through but just can’t seem to overtake the darkness that has surrounded me.

I want to disappear
Not necessarily end my life
Not disappear from others
But from myself
I want a moment to breathe
For my mind to say ‘It’s okay’ and truly mean it
To be able to walk down the hallway and not get overwhelmed
I want to disappear from the monsters in my mind
That makes every tomorrow not wanted

The notes
Locked away
Waiting for a day
The ‘just in case’

Poem I was never afraid of the dark
At least not the way i am now
I’m afraid of the darkness surrounding me
Instead of the darkness around me
Instead of invisible monsters under the bed
I’m afraid of the sick monsters in my head

I'm dancing on the edge
Sometimes in the dark
Sometimes in the light
The crust is crumbling as I move
My motions uneven and sorrowful
The abyss ready to swallow me whole
Just waiting for a misstep
So it can take me down with it
One arm is grabbed
Satans lie's pulling me down
Causing my steps to stumble
Wanting my feet to stop twirling
Making the edge treacherous yet compelling
Ready to give in
My dance is paused
Legs too tired to push on
I start to slip
The lip giving in
I start to succumb
To the darkness below
Then a hand
Holding a rhythm
Strong and steady
The song I know not
Doubt creeping in
And in the pit of despair, his fingers wrapped around mine
Hand holding steady
His grip sure
When I forgot the steps, he led me on
Not a doubt in the world
That I'd carry on
I'm dancing on the edge
The ground gives way, but grace does not