It's just something stupid I do
Something that I assume is out of view
Every time I get really depressed
And sometimes when I get a little stressed
I put a little mark on my arm
A mark that represents self-harm
It's nothing permanent it's only a highlighter
But sometimes it does represent my old lighter
However occasionally it's my old scissor
In a way it's kinda like my own armor
To keep me away from something I used to do
But I swear its only two

Dozen

Okay maybe I lied but it's only a few

Hundred

Fine it might be more than that
But there's no reason for us to have a chat
I have a therapist
So you don't have to get ******
I promise I'm still getting better
It's not like I'm using an old dagger

Or a rusty knife

And hey I haven't taken my own life

I swear no matter what I'll be okay
I can keep the depression at bay
Yes I'm still taking my meds
No I'm not going to tell those boneheads
There's no reason my parent's need to know
It's not like they would give a

Oh

You think I'm being shallow

Well that doesn't matter anyway
It's not like you will want to stay
No one does so don't feel bad

Wait

Why are you getting mad

All I said was what I do
Something that was kept out of view

Do you love me
Like I thought you did
I wonder if you want to be free
As I cry with closed eyelids
Can I simply let it all end
Why must I continue to bend
Why must  I live with all these terrible things
Why must I live while it continues to sting
Can I stop crying myself to sleep
Please I promise I'll make any leap
I don't want you to leave
So don't make me start to grieve
I swear no matter what I won't let you go
As long as there's hope of our tomorrow

I am in extreme panic
And my mind is going a little frantic
I don't know what to do
When I am unbearably blue
My girlfriend decided to go home
She says nothing is wrong
But then she won't respond after that
Until she decided to have a chat
She has me panicked badly
Just by saying she so sorry
But now she won't respond
And so in panic I decided to call her mom
So now I'm sure she will probably hate me
But I understand if it's the way it has to be
But I am crying in the middle of class
Hoping she doesn't slit her wrist with some glass

Some days I just feel like giving in
Some days you throw me in a spin
Some days you make me wanna die
Some days you make me start to cry
Some days I decide not to do it anymore
Some days you drain me to my core
Some days you torture my life
Some days you twist the knife
Some days I can't forget what you did
Some days you built me up like a pyramid
Some days you decide to tear me down
Some days you cause my breakdowns
Some days I miss you even more
Some days you caused my insides to declare war
Some days you stole my heart and caused my issues
And yet Every Day I still love you

You used to be my bestie
We used to stay for the resties
Then a simple little accident
You made your master stunt
I tell you that it slipped
And you tell everyone I'm a little *****
Now you twisted and turned your story
To make me seem a little pervy
Something from you I wouldn't expect
But then again what should I suspect
All you do is make everything big
Even when it wasn't intended to begin
Now all I say is I'm sorry
But you go on a lying spree
But I've worked too hard to give in
To all the pain you put me in
So now I'm saying goodbye
To you and all your lies

Do you ever feel empty inside
Do you ever want to curl up and hide
Do you know right away
That the day is going to be this way
Have you ever felt so very lonely
That you desire to be so very ******
Have you ever wanted to cut it all away
And hope it will all be gone someday
Have you ever felt the need to cry
Have you ever desired to die
Have you ever decided to give up
Have you decided you don't want to grow up
Have you ever grabbed a knife
During a day without life

Once a day I sit and write
I write to avoid another fight
I fight with my dad
I fight with my mom
We always end up mad
And the house is like Vietnam
This happens every single day
And I always end up having to pay
So now there's another fight
At only half-past midnight
And my dad, the source of all my fears
Causes me to be lost in my own tears