She comes with gifts
We meet outside
Standing in strong winds
I see her smile
Its easy to make selfish choices
I connive and coerce
Anything to get out the door
She waits for me
To move chess pieces
She expects I will come to my senses
And tell her goodbye, best wishes
But I can't gather my belongings fast enough
Walking out, showing all teeth
Reveled in my accomplishment
Unable to think of what to do next
She follows me to my apartment
Where I drink and she sits
When she speaks, I listen

...

Finally in the same room again
Holding onto words and guessing intention
She believes I am keeping things within
How can she not see it
Have I remained fortunate and hidden
She has to hear me say it
But surely she seeks no end
I will stay tight lipped
Not to touch and not to play
I keep close and enjoy everyday
To protect the trust and stay focused
To remind her of her beauty
And how much she means to me

Insight unable to be abbreviated
She listens
To ramblings of a life not used to being told
An inquisitive and interested notion
She visits me at each time of day
This force that has swept us into change
Feeling welcomed again
I have found you, Unexpected Friend
Days in lush states
Rally the days of complete chaos
Surviving together between four walls
Making every moment a joke
You keep me light-hearted and young
Advances in short stride of time
You dig deeper with every new account
I stumble through getting to know you
As we continue to build on truth
Waking each day knowing you are well
Finding comfort in you finding comfort in me
Constantly pushing my boundaries
Causing me to think
And forcing me to stop thinking
Laughter is a common currency
On days like these
It is easy to be happy
Though we may lose frequency
I will know that you are near to me
For there will be far too many more memories
Things to discuss and places to see
Your light will shine on
And i will cling to it as a moth
Captivated by lessons left to be taught

The vase awaits
As we trim roses
Digging the thorn in deeper
Holding no truths to self
Confessing and not regretting
To realize that I was wrong
Feels like new soil to the feet
We now face the same fate
Making the choice to steer clear
Notions and actions saying different
Remembering to remain as a friend
I must adapt and learn to share
To take in our moments with care
Letting walls fall
Believing in this love instead of its fear
Holding closely to smiles and laughs
She visits me with gifts in hand
To step outside of our lives
Enjoy a song, revisit the past
Dedicate our time to a later date
We make plans to see the spa
Creating a wonderful Saturday
Finding pleasure in sharing my dreams
We continue to pretend
That you are not unique
But I, not so silently, disagree
Today I recognize your silence
You are found missing your true home
I feel your pull against me
Such lengths would be traveled
To make you happy
Waiting for an offer to accompany

An ode to a girl
I can still remember
Has tried to make a change
For the better
Invited me to a kind of party
A celebrated event
To welcome the birth of her first born
Into the world under clouded conditions
Thanked us graciously for gifts given
As a relative notated ownership
In a baby book for later to reminisce
And perhaps to write a "Thank You Card"
It has been quite the journey to carry us here
With as much as i talk **** about you
I can't help but ponder it's entirety
Remembering hospitals and drug binges
Knowing you never let me down
When i needed you the very most
Still working on the indebted interest
I will try my best
To help you both through this
Because to lean is to trust
And you don't find that very much
Regardless of past occurred dividends
I will always try to give a thoughtful present
And offer a kind smile to him
Elias shall never need
You will make sure but will give entrance
To those you gathered in that room today
While wishing you joy
Knowing that we will all adore your boy

Caught in a void
Attached beings beginning to deploy
To sever or board
The loose ropes drifting away
Feeling lost and annoyed
Dredging up deep sand in a current
Of previously unfelt raw emotion
Completely unrelated to the situation
Immediately reverting to a childish state
Remembering a flash of red from frustration
Unresolved by typical attempts
Overwhelmed and left to wonder
Reactionary damage upon return
Small holes burn slowly through
Decisions among opinions
Who seem to get louder each day
Growing a poison that seeps through their skin
Seeking shelter in the one that sees it
Discovering you has been no deciet
Although this time is over
And i will miss these moments almost daily
Your reminder will be hard to miss
But it may offer quick resolution
To a strengthening tide of defeat
The small ways that they can get to me
Working to senseless exhaustion weekly
Finding a slice of laughter in an unexpected friend
Making timeless memories of where it began
This transition extracts the marrow of the bone
So that we can,
Once again,
Stand on our own.
Losing the silver lining
Left to find what was worth finding.