When I die do not cry .. This place wasn't meant for me you see. I didn't want to be here not then or now. If I loved you know I loved you with all my heart .. And for my kids my soul I would give for you to just want to live, love, laugh, and smile. … but when I die do not cry. It is said that hell we cannot escape but this world this place it was my hell….so my hell I have escaped. As I move onto the unknown know that I longed for the sweet release of death. Never again will I wake and think Oh God not again I will never hold back tears  because I wanted so bad to be gone. I cannot even now tell you why … All I know is that I really wanted to die. It's not that your love wasn't enough my babies you were the lights of my life you are why I held on so long… Mom and Dad please don't be sad or mad you were the best I couldn't have dreamed up better parents...Richard and Keith thank you for being my brothers and my best friends I love you and was lucky to have been your sister… Marshall and Travis my other brothers l love you and I'm so glad to have had u in my lives keep that strength that u have to always be able to rise again.Buddy you are one of the few that knows true happiness I loved you as much as I despised you but you know that I think it was  that  you  could smile and be happy in the worst of times I envied you for that…And to the rest of my family and friends thank you for all the good times and the bad …  I ask that each one of you pass your love for life and knowledge to my kids and be their shoulder to lean on because I just no longer can. ...Remember I loved you ..and …
Do Not Cry When I DIE .
B.R. 2018

Another day she wakes another day she waits ..
Crawling inside now praying longing for her turn To just crawl away.
The pain she almost can't take another long miserable day. No longer caring how it comes be it fast be it slow …
While she's high or low .. Another fake ****** day .. One more fake smile forced laugh please just let it all stop.
From head to toe she aches and hurts body mind and soul...
Just maybe one more fake ****** day
...before I can finally
…..just crawl away.
BR 9-18

From the groins of satans spawn and the hips of an angel she came. Destined for the flame from the beginning . It is her destiny her purpose to suffer on earth as well as  in hell she will never hear heavens bells …. She will never know peace. It is for the ones she loves that she will burn. .. With great strength, sorrow and pain she will endure it all to be sure the ones she loves finds their saving grace… in her end will come hells fury burning all thats left of the angel inside her as she gives her soul so the ones she loves will not have to endure the pain she was burdened with…so they will never have to take their turn.
In flames she will burn.
B.R. 2018