And just like that,
that part of your life is over.
And a new one has begun.
Good things happen
& bad things too.
No matter the impact on your life
even if your world stops
Time will continue to pass you by.

She is hurting.
her lips dance a pretty smile,
while her heart calls for death.
She lives in fear of being alone
because that's all that she's ever known.
Her simple eyes are constantly swimming in a sea of salt,
and drowning in a pool of fear.
Her innocence is lost
along with her mind.
She dreams of being able to speak without her thoughts being restrained by shackles.
Every night, the moment she lost her soul plays over
and over again.
And each time she starts to feel, she is reminded of all the times she lost a piece of her heart.
The eternal silence in her mind
blinds her every chance to be happy.
She can't ever sit still because the last time she stayed in place
she lost it all.
There she stood as her life slipped between the cracks.
As she watched her happiness fade away
the light that was once in her eyes flooded down the drain like the soap you rinse from your body.
And she is numb.
*a.n.p.

A week after you left, I didn't know how to live my life.
I didn't know how to fall asleep or how to go to school.
I forgot how to simply be myself.
A month after you left, I felt okay.
I remembered how to fall asleep & go to school-but not without a fight.
I wasn't myself, I was different.
3 months after you left, I laughed.
I fell asleep willingly & went to school because that's what would make you proud.
I recognized the person in the mirror.
I was me-the person you made me.
It's November 27th & I am not okay.
I miss you & your smile & your quirky laugh.
The holidays have made it but you have not.
I remembered how to fall asleep, but forgot how to wake up.
It is November 28th- Thanksgiving & 6 months you've been gone.
I saw you in a dream last night, but then I remembered ghosts are see through-they do not want to be seen.
No one ever said you couldn't see an angel.
**a.n.p.

Sadness thrives when you are most vulnerable.
It consumes you when you dwell on the past.
It wants to eat up your happiness,
So you can not feel it anymore.
It injects mourning into your soul,
So that is all that you feel.
I know that it is hard.
I will not say that I know what you're going through.
I will not say that I understand,
Because death has always been a subject that perplexes me beyond words.
I will say, that you will survive.
You must rejoice in the memories you have shared.
Not in the simple truth you are scared.
You must face reality so that you do not lose yourself in a fantasy.
He would want you to go on.
He would want you to remember all the times that made your life worth living.
Not the times that you feel you aren't.
Do not dwell in your sadness.
Live in your happiness.

*(a.n.p)

I used to think you were
never around enough.
I took for granted all the times
you asked to go out
or
tried to have a conversation.
I used to think the time you had
wasn't meant for me
but more for someone of your desire.
I used to tell myself
"Next week we will hangout"
but now
there are only weeks filled
without you.
I used to think you were
never around enough.
But now that you're gone
I can see
how present you
really were.

*(a.n.p.)