So, so

As I ponder, as I look, as I see, hear and watch life transpire

I look, not ever sure, not even clear of my desires…

That is my curse, never sure, never knowing

Never, Never committing, apologies to those I hurt, at least my pain is showing

So many that have crossed my path, trusting but realizing, to move past

I always am happy for you, but thankful many of our friendships last

Can’t explain it, don’t even know… a part of me has grown from all of those that I held close

I see, see you happy, and have some remorse, but truthfully I see you in the meadows

So, so

Meadows of life and embrace the time we had, I am lucky, to you all, my love perseveres

So, so

I simply have taken all my interactions and built, become who you see…  it endears

Spent

The days change but life moves on, and at times it seems,  I am more lost than found

Existing, is easy, living, is hard. Continuing to smile yet troubles abound

Simply we all have a desire to succeed

A presence, a place, we all have needs

A need to show what my not be true

Searching for happiness someone/something new

There is an envy for those that have found, life’s meaning, and how they thrive

Just being themselves and happily alive  

Never content is a curse for sure

Minute by minute, day in day out, searching and searching is truly a chore

Time I have learned,  is not on our side

Many choices have been made and I’ve often cried

Where it began I will never know, being a loner… amongst a crowd

My final desire, my gift, is that my children are happy and proud

Spent, yeah spent, and a little bit tired

I write hoping someone will be inspired

Inspired to learn from my lessons

Go forward, move, give and make a lasting impression

Starting

Starting again, a new chapter, new beginnings,new challenges
Can’t be complacent, can’t be sure, can’t be content
Life moves and we need to have balance
Balance our obligations and our desires, never resent

Seems easy for some, yet a struggle for most
Needing a purpose, a place, this existence seems wasted
What path, what journey should I take, I feel choked
Breathe, Breathe it will work, your destiny is or will be satiated

Move, move forward and don’t look back
Stay the course, diverge as needed, but never slack

Live strong
Love long

It’s a bit tangled the lives we lead
We try to balance, try to appease everyone’s needs
Yet it’s not enough at times and expectations are not met
Leaving a path of disappointment and some are upset

We can only satisfy the needs of one
Be honest , be real, and it’s done
Stay true to who you are and dance to the drummer that you feel
Everyone respects those who are real

Enjoy the time because it is fleeting and there are no guarantees
Don’t pretend, don’t fake it, stay the course, navigate the angry sea’s

When all is done what matters is who you have impacted
Don’t placate, don’t settle, maintain and don’t be reactive
Life will always sneak up and challenge our fortitude
Be you, no apologies, get after it, and sustain a confident attitude

Strange as it seems
We all have dreams

It’s difficult to think of all we shared
A future lies a head and I am scared
Scared to walk without you near
Knowing we made a sensuous pair
Things didn’t go as planned
Drifting apart like a ship unmanned
Pain fills my soul thinking of you with another
But keeping you would continue make it hard to recover
Recover the person that I truly see
Alone,searching so I soon will be

Michael, yeah Michael

That is me

It’s interesting the paths we take
The people we meet the relationships we make
You inspired me to think and write
Giving me hope... despite
Despite my doubts and fears
I feel alive, more alive in years
You shared your love for poems
Now I seek and think, my heart again roams

Because of you

The Song

Life it moves quick, and we don’t realize, time is precious, not long

All of us carry a burden, but also a song

A song we follow within our hearts
Music taps into it, that is where it starts

Follow it, don’t repel
It’s like a spell

A spell that allows you to endure all life has to offer or take
Music, the song it keeps you moving and awake

Feel the beat, feel the rhythm, let it sink in
Your song is playing, inside you, if you follow you win

Be present, show you listen and know the song
Do it now, before you are gone

Feel the song
Live by the song
Hold it close and live
Remember your song is there to give

Thinking

I sit and ponder, do I live in the past
Unable to move forward, missing what’s here
At times I feel like an outcast
Social and adept, yet connection I fear

This is a penance I carry around
Superficial, it feels, which is odd and strange
I believe, truly that I can rebound
From what I do not know it, can I change

Late nights, early mornings alone, thinking, and content
Some think it’s lonely but I see it clear
Prefer it, an existence I feel it’s well spent
I love, I live there is no fear

Timeless

Funny we all worry about our time
Time for this, time for that, clock watching, for what
All that matters is the experiences, the wine
Wine as a metaphor, good times, people, no rut

Surround yourself with friends and love
Stay true, be you and be alive
Walk, run, through this life, a destiny determined above
Stop pleasing, stop doing, time waits for no one, survive

Survive and be the best you
No waiting, time is now, your due

It’s not often you can be amongst the best

Spending time with friends and meeting others

We often don’t realize we are blessed

Blessed to have people who have your back, these guys are my brothers

Brothers I care for, and will keep them close

Family first, and adding new people in

I have a great crew, and it’s a win

No matter what transpires and where it ends

These people, my gal, and my friends  

Days of laughter and fun times are the best

I hope we all have enjoyed, laughed, cried, and expressed

Days like this are to savor

Remember,
Remember,

Don’t fake, be real

Love, embrace, it’s ideal…

Standing in a crowd alone
Thinking, and thinking it is all monotone
No feeling, no hope, no one to care
Waking up to emptiness no one to share
Is a cruel reality, it is true despair
I will seek, I will look but no one is there
My past is present and reveals my fear
Just a soul searching for what, I don’t know
I will sleep and dream, of tomorrow

True that tomorrow’s are not a “for sure”

Often we wait for something more

More never comes and we are often lost

Lost because the waiting came with a cost

A cost of time, memories and connections

Pause for a moment... take time for reflection

Do it now... or later will be too late

Just be you, choose and discover your fate

Time slips by as I wait for you
You is a metaphor for something new
A soul I can hold and share our dreams
A woman, a partner will strengthen our team
Moving forward and feeling some strain
Crying at times, laughing and some pain
My heart is open for someone more
But a piece is missing when you walked out that door

Slowly and softly I kiss your neck
Our bodies in sync as we connect

The passion, excitement cannot be contained
You feel my arousal, and it won’t be tame

Your movements, acceptance, for what’s to come
I touch you, lick u it’s part of our fun

Breathing deeply you feel complete
Caressing and holding as we slip off to sleep

Troubled times are surely ahead
Like a boat captain, quarterback you expect it prepare, accept challenges
Yet those times allow you to enjoy the peace, and not be misled
It’s alway a struggle no matter your station in life, it all balances

Enjoy the good times, take every moment, savor, certainly it could be your last
Forever be true, honest and develop relationships that endure
Moment to moment things could end, cultivate, maintain, stay steadfast

Time ticks away, we often let minor disputes cloud our path
Friends for years should never end over a trivial matter
Regret will take over, longing to repair, you’ll be left with only the aftermath
So reach out, compromise or everything will be left in tatters

True friends never separate
True friends never separate

Repair what you’ve lost or let go
Honestly, relationships, friends, their the ones that truly know

Twists

Many roads, many travels, seeing the world, people and who they are

Some I have met near and some from afar

Sharing stories of life family and our struggles

Avoid the boastful few who seem to be all around

Salt of the earth types those are my people, I have found

Let’s talk of love lost, family and our travels

Before things get difficult and the world unravels

Find that being alone, in a crowded space, is my safe place

Love to see interaction, love to see others embrace

Embrace their world, their people and their being

So enriching to observe those loving and living

Time slips past quickly, take hold of what you can, and never relent or give up

Do what is needed, and forge a existence you can leave behind

A life, friendships and family that will always have you on their mind…

A life that is lost is only one that simply had no one

No one to carry their torch and continue their journey

I want my time to to have gifted others friendship and love, I want none to ever mourn me

Please, my time is not up, yet I want it known, I live for my children and my friends

For that I know my story will never end

Uncharted

So it seems things continue to be convoluted
Despite my love, it’s difficult, maybe I should be substituted

My wish, is that I don’t infect others in my scheme
I have hope, I dream

Yet, those that fall are left without
They see, they doubt

Worthiness is an expectation that often I cannot meet
Told before my mind, my thoughts, defeat

Can’t be the regular guy, one who simply exists
I have a mind, ideas and they twist

No changes needed, it’s a walk I must endure
soulmate, friend and lover, I am sure

Truly inept at keeping those close
Tragic, lonely at times, life continues, happiness and I oppose

Days will be great and nights fun
Yet in the end, absent of commitment who has won

Time
Time
Moving, never slowing
Choices to be made, never knowing

Unsettled

So strange the roads we choose
The journey’s we embark
We hope we pray, that we don’t lose
Lose our way, our sight, it can be dark

Troubled is a state I live
Guessing, wandering, why
Just trying to love, to give
I hope I make an impact before I die

Never have I been one to hide
My world, my feelings are there to be seen
Wishing I had someone to confide
Life it seems has some irony, I ponder my dream

I spend a lot of time inside my head
Makes it difficult, sometimes impossible to go to bed

I fear I have made many mistakes
I review, redo, and I contemplate

What did I do to end up here?
But realize soon after, it has been simply fear

Fear to change, fear to move on, fear to commit
At times I think I am an idiot

However, when the night is done
I look in the mirror and realize I have won

Won, a winner, whatever because I have been true
true to what life is about, and realize there is always something new

New friends, new experiences, new opportunities
And in the end, we leave behind, simply a legacy

So it’s time for me to see

See the person I can be

Not the man that currently exists

But a lover, a friend who you can’t resist

I will find love I am sure

Love that is impossible to endure

For I cannot give my all

For fearing, for anticipating, the expected  fall

A fall I won’t recover

So I will move on to another

Why

So as I think, review and contemplate

Realize that, oh, forget the state

State of my life, state of relationships and all is intertwined

The things I review, instead of moving ahead, keep me confined

Unsteady and unsure

Trying to keep up, but failing I am sure

Why, why do I not see past the trees
See what is in front of me

My pain is self inflicted
My life self… self conflicted

Time to grasp what is important and dear

Time to be and no longer care

No longer care what others say

Live my life, tomorrow is a new day

Others can judge and think they know
Yet, what do they show

Most are faking and wish they could be me
Simply living and being free

Go away all you judgmental fools

I am me, I like what I see, drink your drink and continue to be cruel

I write

Why, why do I write the things that pass through my head
It’s a need, a passion but often it’s hard
I could be doing a lot of other things instead
Yet, to clear my mind, to feel and understand this world is something I can’t disregard

I write
I write

It’s a way to learn, a way to show
Show empathy, show acknowledgment and a way to grow

Not sure if my words are heard or if they matter
However I will continue because it feeds my soul
I do a lot, I live, I love, there is much on my platter
I write to inspire, to challenge and to console

I write because when I am gone there will only be what’s written

And that’s why I write, to make a difference