‘I’m fine’
When did those words change meaning
When did they go from ‘I’m fine’;
To ‘help me’
To ‘I’m drowning’
To ‘I want you to know’
To ‘god I hope they can’t see it’
The tears we cry
Don’t always fall from our eyes
Sometimes they fall with those words;
                 I’m fine
                                 I’m fine
             I’m fine
                I’m fine
         Fine
                Fine
              Fine
         F I N E
            FINE
I’m fine_.
Each word is a scream
Each letter is a promise to stop hoping
Each time we hear it we don’t realize what it means
Its plain in front of you
We’re all drowning  
But some scream silently
With the words
I’m fine.

Life
Nobody talks about it
All the hushed whispers in the hall are never
About
Life
Death
They’re about death
We say it’s a taboo subject but it’s almost all you ever hear
Life is just
There
The wingwoman at a bar
The third wheel that’s dying on the inside
That person in the middle of the class that’s not cool enough to sit in the back nor nerd enough to sit in the front
They’re
Just
There
Like life
You never notice them until
They’re gone
Then
They’re
The whispers in the hall
They’re the taboo subject
But they’re all everyone talks about now
You never notice them until
They’re gone

But there are those moments
When you look around and let yourself be amazed by that beam of sunlight shooting across the wood grain
When you breathe and feel the air filling your lungs and finally realize it for the miracle that it is
Realize that it was always meant to be there
When you finally see the spark you thought was gone in a strangers eyes
When you realize it’s not about the end
But how you reach it

I used to love the water
The way it glided between my fingers
The way the light bounced of the surface
I used to love the water
It’s beautiful ripples
It’s majestic tidal waves
I used
To love the water
Until it’s ripples surrounded me
Until it’s waves drowned me
I hate the water
The way you never know how deep you’ll fall if you jump
How a small wave in the distance grows to a tsunami
How you never know what it’ll take next
A slipper
A hat
A watch
All I know is I got two sets of identical purple pajamas
I never wanted them
All I know is I would give up all the purple pajamas in the world
To get back what I lost

I’m unremarkable
But I’m not stupid
I’m unknown
But not forgotten
I do so many bad things
But also good things
I never keep all my promises
But I keep most
I hope for better days
But I’m not crushed if my hopes don’t come true
I’m not good
But I’m not bad
I’m not generic
But I’m not unique
I’m not a genius
But I get good grades
I’m not beautiful
But I’m not ugly
Can you see where this is going
Can’t you see I have nowhere to belong
I’m not good enough to be the hero
But I’m not bad enough to be the villain
I belong nowhere
Nowhere to belong
Nowhere that owns me
Nowhere to confide in
Where does that put me
Huh
Where
            Do
                  I
                    Belong.

                           Did
                         I
                  Ever
        Belong
   To
                     Begin with?