I'm sorry,
I am very ill again,
I don't feel I'm going to make it out this time,
with my sanity in tact,
I can feel the molten core,
with a dark surrounding,
the spasms are wild with a ruff pant,
my heart is pounding.

  Even so,
I love you,
I'll look after you,
I'll give you everything I got,
even If It's not what you want,
I'm right behind you,
In every task...

I hate my self to say this,
but I need help,
Is staying naturally beautiful to much to ask?

I have come to the conclusion,
I might be the only one who can help,
if the doctor found out about your head,
the pills would **** with your meds,
I don't think your strong enough,
to wean off the addiction,
so the pills would twist you till your dead.
   Council would help,
but you feel safe without the attention,
if people knew,
it could be fatal,
so I suppose I'm the only one,
who won't stop helping you,
so I'm your shot at redemption.
   So what can I give you?
   Vitamins and endorphins,
I won't stop trying,
even if I am good for nothing.

You can't catch it,
is what I want to say to them,
it's to fast,
it hides and comes out when it wants to,
you only see it then.

I'm use to it,
I see it all the time,
I am the one who guards it,
like a savage beast,
when it comes I'm in my prime.

when it's out,
I'm with it till the end,
I will stand guard,
or change guard,
on my loyalty it's welfare depends!

Let me tell you something,
something I haven't said to you before,
I've told many others,
but it's about you,
and telling you has worried me for sure.

I can't remember the date,
It was some time last year,
but It was a hard reality check,
which nearly knocked me out,
and it's what brought you so near.

I STOPPED,
don't know where or when,
but I thought of my days with the stoners,
I thought of the protests I made,
and the **** I believed,
and the risks my friends had taken.

I believed that **** had never killed,
and was healthy it majority and medicinal,
but in fact I found later on that it was terrible,
once adapted for the street,
and me not taking it was a miracle.

see what **** really kills is your mind,
you wouldn't be the same girl I knew,
you already have your problems,
see it's killed some of my friends inside,
and I won't let it have you!

The reality check I got,
was of your making,
would I let you be a test dummy of this,
did I really believe what I once said,
on you was the risk really worth taking?

I sink my snout deep into my firm bed,
   from within the quilt a divine scent is shed,

Wood smoke and vibrant gold with strawberry cream,
      reminds me of a festival goddess round a dancing fire who is a blessing to see,

I moved with her when she drifted into my room and caressed my skin,
   it was such an honour for a tempting sin.

Sax
Clarinet,
piano,
Moot,
Wedding,
I want to know.
   Old stages,
super rock,
Is she alright?
double grade 8,
partys,
I hope she sticks to the light.
   Explores,
work,
does she look like the love I know?
money,
independence,
will I find something that she hasn't shown?
   Not enough time to exercise,
A diseased family,
I want endless time with her in my future,
GAD,
sequences,
do I sound like a preacher?
   spots,
maturity,
can I cope?
when will I next see her,
can I manage more motivation,
MAYBE I WON'T !

you...
overly Pierced,
  body stained,
cut and maimed,
      bleached or dyed,
brain fried,
   emotions drained,
drugged and smoked,
      waxed and shamed,
lying,
   arrogant,
unfaithful,
      vain...

for these,
   would I turn and run?
Or make you tame?