Being a mother to you
Is being a mother to me.
And that little girl is
so thankful for you.

When I kiss your cheeks,
When I hold you in the middle of the night.
When I dry your tears,
When I make you laugh,
When I watch you at the playground,
When I hold your hand,
That little girl heals more than anything else that's tried to heal her.

I am prettiest when I am myself.
My skin shows me how much life
I've lived.
And everything has softened
Over the years.
I've done less running away
And more standing strong.
I've done more crying
And spent less days frozen.
My hands are more rough
But my heart is more free.
My bones are louder
But my mind is quieter.

I am prettiest when I am myself.

Every other woman comes before his own daughter.
They have so much more to offer.
What good is a woman he can't touch?
I am always too much and never enough.

Forgiving my father without hearing him say "I'm sorry"
Is my super power.

This girl I met in the bathroom at the bar put glitter on my eyes.
I only met her 2 min ago as we passed at the stall.
When I came out she was reapplying her lipstick and she casually says
"I think this would look so good on you"
She walks over and gently rests her hand on my cheek as she puts it over my eyelids,
I see stars fall out of my eyelashes
And she says
"Amazing. It was meant for you"
She tells the girl behind me she loves her hair color
And we all trade smiles.

This is the universal language of a woman.

I killed my father's daughter.
So now whos going to play opposite you?

I've already grieved her death,
It's been 7 years since I buried her.

This doesn't hurt me anymore.

But I can tell by how you hold yourself around me,
It hurts you.

There are cracks in the bones
And flaws in the foundation.
They tell me we are so lucky
We have eachother.
But our talks are never honest.
I walk into your home and I feel the furthest away from home.
You think if I put the hypersensitivity back on, and the fawning suit I used to wear it means we are back to being ourselves.
When all it is,
Is love on your terms again.

Thankyou for consistently teaching me to listen to my needs and learn to implement boundaries

If I were to do girlhood again,
I'd have more anger.
I'd flirt with kerosene
And encourage myself to light the match.
The bridges would burn and I wouldn't feel one bit of hesitation.
I'd feel the feelings
And scream them at the top of mountains.
Everyone would hear me
And I wouldn't apologize to a single soul.
My parents would give me space,
They would ask for my attention but never assume it's available.
I'd feel alive
it'd be written all over my skin.
And whenever someone asked me about what those words meant, I would tell them.
My tone would be firm, and gentle.
I would expose every syllable
Without fear.
Because being known for who I truly was,
Wouldn't be scary
Like it is now.