Jan C: Poems

12h · 15

Jan C 12h

I see your silence, feel the sting,
The echo of a buried thing.
But know—I never sought to bruise
The healed parts you can’t afford to lose.

I didn’t come to dig the past,
Nor haunt you with a shadow cast.
If I have mirrored pain unknown,
It was never mine to throw, nor own.

You are not at fault for this return,
Nor are you wrong for what still burns.
But maybe in this tender light,
We both can learn to walk more right.

https://open.spotify.com/track/1xr2OxQyZCLdcogmFU53PP?si=538c3b9996a84e1e

12h

Full Circle

Jan C 12h

Full Circle

A breeze, familiar, brushed my skin—
A ghost I thought was caged within.
It sparked the fall, the tear, the doubt,
The shame I tried to live without.

Why now, from you, this aching thread?
Have I become what once I fled?
I walked on eggshells, played it smart,
Yet here I stand—back at the start.

https://open.spotify.com/track/62JPi629msUv8wotWAChOY?si=fa2992d465434820

Jun 27 · 52

The game

Jan C Jun 27

The game

I laced my shoes with trembling hands,
not from pain, but from memory.
The last time I stepped on this court,
love stood beside me,
or so I thought.

It wasn't the spike or fall I feared,
but the echo of a name
heard in every whistle,
each cheer a ghost
of who once watched me shine.

"Stupid," I whispered,
to grieve a shadow
in the game I loved.
But fear is honest,
and healing never asks permission.

Then came the first serve,
not just of the ball,
but of myself,
whole and unshaken,
untethered from the past.

No ache, no flashback,
just sweat, rhythm,
laughter... me.

And when it ended,
I looked for the fear
I thought would follow.
It didn’t.

Because now,
I’m loved where I stand,
not where I used to be.

https://open.spotify.com/track/4JuJZzGcswQszYiKJSnC6i?si=a722a88c22294bfe

Jun 13 · 99

pour l'amour de ma vie

Jan C Jun 13

pour l'amour de ma vie

I held you in silence where words wouldn’t stay,
Loved you in moments you drifted away.
No promises asked, no reasons why—
Just a quiet forever beneath the sky.

If you never return, still know it’s true:
All that I was, I gave to you.

https://open.spotify.com/track/70K8L5UseP3ZuNk3akYeDj?si=7b1f13a64986481c

Jun 13 · 95

Hawak ka

Jan C Jun 13

Hawak ka

Kung limutin man ng langit ang bituin,
At apoy ay lunurin ng dumadaloy na alin,
Mananatili akong naroon—tahimik, totoo,
Yakap pa rin kita, kahit saan magtungo.

Kung ang halakhak ay alingawngaw na lamang,
At ang lupa’y baon na sa katahimikan,
Kahit ganito, hindi ako lalayo,
Pag-ibig ko’y di matitinag, di magbabago.

Hayaan mang gumuho ang kabundukan,
At ang dagat ay sakupin ang kalangitan—
Ako'y magiging bundok mo, matatag, buo,
Nananatili, at patuloy kang inuupo.

https://open.spotify.com/track/6Njoyu4X5lMORCxImcam1K?si=33c72f250a024f4f

Jun 13 · 86

Muscle Memory

Jan C Jun 13

Muscle Memory

Pagkalipas ng mahabang taon,
na hindi ako sumulat,
naalala pa rin ng aking mga kamay
kung paano hawakan ang panulat,
parang pangakong minsang binitawan,
minsan ding minahal.

Bawat guhit ay multo:
halakhak na nakalambit sa kurba,
sigaw na itinago sa matutulis na linya,
luha na dumampi sa pagitan ng mga salita.

Hindi nagtatanong ang tinta,
tumutulo lang ito,
may kasamang tuwa,
may halong hinagpis,
bitbit ang galit na pilit kong nilibing.

Nanginginig ang daliri, hindi dahil sa paglimot,
kundi sa bigat ng alaala.
Bawat letra'y sugat,
bawat paghinto'y dasal,
bawat tuldok ay wakas na di talaga nagtatapos.

Ang mga pahina’y kumukulot na parang pagod na balikat,
ngunit patuloy pa rin ang kuwento,
kahit ayaw ko na sanang isulat.

At heto pa rin ako, sumusulat.
At heto pa rin ang puso, kumikirot.
Dahil naaalala pa rin niya,
masyado pang malinaw.

https://open.spotify.com/track/0jGL1ApJ7QrVWL7nRqLdij?si=94fc780a28ac4a87

Jun 13 · 83

A glimplse

Jan C Jun 13

A glimplse

With just a glimpse, I felt the storm—
no words, no winds, yet far from warm.
Your silence louder than a shout,
a quiet way to cast me out.

A second's glance, your face was steel,
no flicker showed I made you feel.
No breath of ease, no softening gaze—
just frost beneath the summer haze.

I didn’t need to meet your eyes,
the ache was plain, the truth precise.
Each blink, each sigh, a subtle plea:
“Please—don’t stay here next to me.”

https://open.spotify.com/track/3tJjZMHLqhD8DaGgdBICnc?si=YGmsz5ciQ1WisxxNCZFHuA

Jun 13 · 389

That night

Jan C Jun 13

That night

I never begged for anyone to stay—
not once, not in silence, not in stray
glances that lingered longer than pride
would ever let me justify.

But that night,
the stars felt too loud
and the world too hollow.

Every inch of me—
bone, breath, memory—
itched like a wound that knew
its healer was walking away.
Even the atoms trembled,
each particle aching
to betray my mouth
and scream
“Please…”

https://open.spotify.com/track/4nyF5lmSziBAt7ESAUjpbx?si=81cde1c7c91449ac

Jun 12 · 76

Biyahe Pauwi

Jan C Jun 12

Biyahe Pauwi

Pagod ang katawan, mabigat ang araw,
pero nariyan ka, kaya’t gumagaan ang galaw.
Hindi kailangan ng magarang tanawin,
balikat ko’t hikab mo’y sapat na aliwin.

Sa gitna ng usok, ingay, at pila,
may tahimik tayong mundo na tila
walang ibang tao kundi ikaw at ako—
dalawang pusong sabay humihinto.

Dahan-dahan kang sumasayaw sa tanaw,
kahit hindi kita kinakausap, alam **** ikaw
ang dahilan kung bakit di ko na alintana
ang layo, ang trapik, ang problema.

Sana'y huwag matapos ang ganitong tagpo,
kung saan ang simpleng pagtingin ay totoo.
Wala tayong yaman o oras na sobra,
pero habang magkasama tayo—sapat na.

https://open.spotify.com/track/1Sb17ULI2TTxIDKiqKV2zv?si=73819d9e94c145b9

Jun 12 · 60

The other way around

Jan C Jun 12

The other way around

I need you to listen, just like I do—
I held my tongue and sat through you.
When things came out, I stayed, stayed kind,
No blame, no rage, just open mind.

You spoke your truth, I gave you space,
I met your flaws with calm and grace.
I asked, you shared, I understood,
Did all the things I thought I should.

But now it's me with things to say,
And you just turn and walk away.
No room, no time, no ear to lend—
No space for me to just defend.

It feels so cold, it feels so wrong,
Like I’ve been fair for far too long.
Why is your voice the only one?
Why does mine get left undone?

https://open.spotify.com/track/7JVAVLkkhpKOp8g4jX5Z12?si=d90e12c1d5e448fe

— The End —