Tonight my wall clock tells me I am worthless
And I believe it
My shadow is making me think I’m being hunted
And so I turn off the lights and stand statue still against the wall trapping the figure behind my spine
My breath is screaming lies into the silence
So I will hold my breath
I am a ghost
I watch myself cry while wondering why?
I listen as my tear drops hit my lap
And it sounds to me like my Enemy’s sarcastic clap
I’m watching my thoughts dance clumsily in black ink on the walls
They paint pictures until the ink takes over
Now I’m  in a cave of darkness and the walls are closing in on me
I hear him laugh at the fact I find myself alone after years of begging for attention
His laugh is now muffled by a string of cars driving by outside the ice cold window
They whisper and ask me where I could go past the bridges I've burnt
I know the answer is no where but I  lie and say “home”
The share secrets and inside jokes as they continue on their path and I know
Tonight
I am alone

Daddy taught me that love is  like learning to keep a tight rope sturdy beneath sea legs

gotta scrape a layer off my bones
Dig a ditch into my skull
Purge your voice from my veins
I'll Wash my skin with my tears
till you drip pour drain
Erase your face from my dreams
You're capital and I'm state
I'm dead for now till reconstruction
Demolish your monument
All in attempt to disown the hurt
Because you shook me till tremor became my still
But My safety was in crime scenes
With siren songs mistaken for lullabies
And my mind is a trap for
All the hopes
And the hurting
Because you shook me till tremor became my still
Because you took me till captive became my free

If a picture is worth a thousand words
I've shouted a photo album worth hoping it finds its way to you
It's been far too long since I've seen you this clear
Since life brought us here
Since the knife steered clear from my wrist
And I backed away from the cliff
and your noose was loosened
Like our grip on past fears
It's cold out here
But in my heart there's a fire
Let's huddle around real close
Tell stories and reminisce
Play puppets with our shadows
Dismiss all the crisis
My methods were formed in the midst of madness
But if I'm honest It keeps me writing
So don't stop the war
My dear it's inspiring
And on the nights when we're fighting
Wondering what's next
The street lights will always guide our steps
We've roamed these streets far too long
Not to know when We've reached a stones throw away from a reason to write a new song
Tonight our minds take the form of a playground
You and me take one side of the seesaw and our thoughts and decisions take the other
I remember the day that boy I still see saw abuse at the hand of another
No longer his father
Or even his brother
This time a woman whose words trickled out in a stutter
I still watch him shudder when that image enters his mind
And the weight of worry became his playmate on this oscillating swing
But darling 30 minutes in your arms just left me wanting
By the time this war ends I pray you still want me
Because I know if you leave
These memories will haunt me
And I'll go flying if you leave me alone on this swing
My regrets are to heavy to hold my steady
Balance is impossible without you beside me
**** reality
I'll stick with playing make believe
Baby please take a seat and play with me