I’m so selfish, I confess,
I miss your smile, though you're sad.
Even as the sorrow lingers,
I long for joy I once had.

I wish I could ease your pain,
But all I can do is miss,
The light in your eyes, the warmth in your laugh,
Even when you're lost in the abyss.

- Sun

If you crochet all night,
Your hands will cramp with time.
Pray to whichever god you choose,
And kiss the child goodnight.

My love, you deserve some sleep,
Rest your weary soul awhile.
Close your eyes and let the world
Fade into peace, if only for a while.

- Iolite

I'm so worried, I can't sleep,
But that's selfish, isn't it?
You're the one in pain,
You're the one who struggles with it.

I have no excuse to feel this way,
My tears, my sobs, my sleepless nights,
They undermine your pain,
And in the end, I feel I only care about myself, in spite.

I can't stand seeing you like this,
I wish I could bundle you up,
Take all your sadness and pain away,
And shield you from it all—if I could.

- Cas

I just hope you know,
You can rely on me by now.
I love your smiles, your tears,
Your hopes, and your fears.

You don’t need to pretend,
For me, you don’t have to hide.
Everything you try to bury,
I still see deep inside.

Bags under your eyes—
And they’re wet again.
I can’t help but cry myself,
When I see you in this pain.

I wish I could help,
But I don’t know how.
Oh God, how do I help?
What can I do now?

- Luke and Iolite

I used to care what others thought of me,  
But now, I can't say that I do.  
Ace and Seth, cold assassins, move in the night,  
While Niko and others, demons in flight.  

Hybrids are scattered, a strange, shifting scene,  
The little ones bubbly, bright, full of gleam.  
A cat plays with yarn in a carefree dance,  
While a dragon and babies nest in a trance.  

A baby phoenix watches with curious eyes,  
As the older one spreads its wings to the skies.  
My protector, a shadow, hides me from pain,  
Shielding me quietly from sorrow and strain.  

And my partner, my friend, the one true,  
A system themselves, yet they make me feel new.  
In this world, so strange, and full of the bizarre,  
They make me the happiest guy by far.

"Sometimes you acted like a completely different person."
...Yeah, no ****, Sherlock. Have any other observations?  

"I feel like I don't know you anymore."
...I don't believe we've ever met.  

You’re searching for someone solid,  
one face, one voice, one story.  
But we are shifting constellations,  
flickering in and out of view.  

You want an answer that stays the same,  
a version of me that never wavers.  
But I am echoes and footsteps,  
names that don’t always belong to me.  

So tell me,  
who is it you think you knew?  
And which of us do you want me to be?

I’m tired,  
but I don’t know what of.  

Not just sleep, not just ache—  
something deeper, something unnamed.  

Like a weight I’ve carried too long  
but can’t remember picking up.  
Like a question with no answer,  
a story with no end.  

Maybe it’s everything.  
Maybe it’s nothing.  
Maybe I just am.  

Tired.

The pain hums low, a steady thrum,  
woven into muscle, threaded through bone.  
A history carved into the body’s frame,  
etched deep where no one can see.  

I stand, I move, I carry on,  
as if the weight isn’t there,  
as if my spine isn’t screaming,  
as if my past isn’t pressing against the present.  

Some days, I forget.  
Some days, it reminds me.  
Some days, I wonder  
what it would be like to exist without ache,  
without the echoes of what was broken,  
what was fixed,  
what never fully healed.

- Quartz

I wake to the sound of sobs,
small, hiccuping, afraid.
The air is thick with panic,
the kind that doesn’t have words.

They’re curled up, clutching tight to nothing,
lost in a world too big,
too loud, too much.

I move slowly, steady,
lower my voice, soften my hands.
I am the anchor now,
the shield against what they can’t fight.

“It’s okay,” I murmur,
though I know it isn’t, not for them.
Not yet.

But I let them hold my sleeve,
let them cry until the shaking fades,
until their breaths even out,
until they know—
I am here.

It’s always a strange kind of comfort,
To start drifting in the middle of class,
A familiar sense of disconnection creeping in.
Our partner, attuned to the shift,
Sits beside us without a word,
Their hand gently finding ours,
A silent offer of reassurance.
They’ve seen these signs before,
Lived through the cycles longer than I have,
Each shift in us a reminder of the shared journey.
In their eyes, I know they understand,
The way our minds stretch and splinter,
And how, together, we navigate the fragments.

I wake in pieces, scattered in the dawn,
A mind too crowded, yet too far gone.
Thoughts collide like waves that crash and break,
But I’m still here, though hard to stay awake.

In the mirror, I’m a stranger's face,
I catch my breath, but can’t keep up the pace.
I reach for words, but they slip like sand,
I never know if I’m still in command.

One moment, I’m me, then someone I don’t know,
Shifting shapes in a world that never slows.
Who am I now, who will I be tomorrow?
The faces blur, and I feel the sorrow.

The chaos inside is loud, too loud to fight,
A storm of thoughts that twists the day into night.
I’m lost in noise, in a constant race,
But no one can see it, this fractured space.

I feel the pull of a thousand hands,
Each one desperate to understand.
But no one listens, no one sees,
That I'm just trying to find some peace.

ADHD, a fire burning fast,
No pause to catch my breath, to make it last.
I’m always moving, always spinning ‘round,
In a world that says "sit still" but won’t slow down.

Autism, a barrier none can touch,
I want to connect, but I’m too much,
Or maybe I’m not enough, it’s hard to tell,
Living in a body where I rarely dwell.

BPD pulls me under, then sets me free,
Loving too hard, or not enough to see.
I swing from heaven to earth, then crash,
Trying to hold on, but it’s all too rash.

Each piece of me is hidden from the view,
And every day, I try to make it through.
A puzzle unsolved, a question untold,
In a world that demands I fit, but I’m too bold.

And sometimes, when I’m brave enough to fall,
I wonder if I’ll ever feel whole at all.

In the hollow of the night, we drift alone,  
The light a lie, a whisper on the stone.  
We search for warmth, but find the cold instead,  
And wonder why the darkness fills our head.  

The light you crave is faint and far away,  
A fragile hope that flickers, then decays.  
It promises to lift you from despair,  
But leaves you here, abandoned in the air.  

The shadows are not foes, but friends who stay,  
They understand the price we have to pay.  
They linger close, not to torment or break,  
But to remind us of the love we fake.  

For light, it seems, has never filled the hole—  
It only scratches at the edges of the soul.  
And in the dark, where silence fills the space,  
We find a truth too hard for light to face.  

The more we chase, the more we fall behind,  
For what we seek is just a dream confined.  
And in the shadows, we are forced to see,  
That light was never meant to set us free.

What words will be on my tombstone..?

Will they say I was a fighter...?

Or will they call me weak..?

Will they say I did my best...?

That I tried every challenge and every test..?

Or will they say that I was ill...?

My mental and physical fortitude was nonexistent...?

My smiles and effort did not matter at all..?

I don't want to go...

I want to stay...

I want to fight...

Spend the rest of my life...

With them...

With Ciel...

Making him smile...

Kissing away their tears...

Sharing our hopes and fears...

I will live

I WILL live

I WILL LIVE

I will fight, will never give up, will never give in

I am strong. I will win.

- Saeyuri

Sweet coffee and baklava

"The world is my oyster"

And "I lava you"

Cheesy quotes from

Sappy old blokes

Who were probably

Just like me and you

We say or hear those things

In movies or in shows

Even though they're nothing special...

I wonder what will happen with my words after

We, too, have to go?

I am tired of being tired

When my brain refuses to sleep

So many different voices

All fighting for a chance to speak

They have needs and desires

Words that must be heard

But the fact I haven't slept in months

Is absolutely absurd

Close your eyes and shut your mouth

Give me silence just this once

I want to sleep

I need to sleep

But if I close my eyes

...The devil may claim my soul to keep...

Are my words beautiful, do they hold weight?
Do they have meaning, or just imitate?
All of them feel so endlessly reused...
I write to enjoy the feeling I’ve abused.

But I feel nothing, no emotion found,
These words are empty, drifting all around.
Still, I answered the call without regret,
So self-absorbed, I can't escape this set.

That’s all I am, just drifting with the tide,
My words pour out, they come, they will not hide.
Mailbox full of emails, spam once again,
I write as long as I can, but it’s in vain.

Until the **** finally hits the fan...

When I think back to my younger years,  
The memories fade like mist in the light.  
The joy, the laughter, now lost in the years,  
Slipping away, just out of my sight.  

The child I was seems distant, hard to find,  
A person I once knew, but now can’t grasp.  
Time steals the colors that once filled my mind,  
Leaving behind only a hollow past.  

Though I can’t recall the moments so bright,  
Their echoes still linger deep in my chest.  
The feeling of being young, pure, and light,  
A part of me, though time has put it to rest.  

I can’t remember all I used to see,  
But that child’s still somewhere inside of me.

Memories fade fast,  
Childhood whispers in the breeze,  
Gone, but still they last.

You keep getting in my face

Speaking of how I'm "such a disgrace"

But I have seen through you all this time

Because the person you hate...

Is the one who is trapped inside

You shy away from your face in the mirror

So full of anxiety and overwhelming fear

I am not a doll for you to project on

Take a look at me in introspection

Sit on your *** and let me speak

I'll teach you a lesson

Change your ways and do it fast

Because you reap what you sow

And this won't stay in the past

Is it really

Depression

If you can acknowledge

That you're not ok?

Is it really

Denial

If you know why

It turned out this way?

Is it really

Anxiety

If you have a

Valid reason to worry?

What am I running away from?

And where am I going?

Beautiful flowers of hope are wilting...

As anxiety grows in its stead

After once again my parents tell me

Why I never have any friends.

Is it really my fault...?

They don't like the queer, autistic, seemingly optimistic

Secretly pessimistic "the meaning of life is to die"

Teen who is so quick to cry

So who cares if I have no friends?

I've had plenty of fake ones but

They never stayed in the end

So what if I have no friends?

I have my boyfriend he's enough..

So... why does it hurt...?

Why do I have no friends?

I can't hear my own voice...

It's too loud... too many people... too much noise

When was the last time I had peace?

How long ago did silence lull me to sleep?

I wish I may wish I might...

Remember the wish I made on that night...

And if I were to pass in my sleep...

I give my soul to the lord to keep...

What soul? What soul?

So long ago I bartered with the devil...

Soulless, broken, quiet in a loud room

The shadow in the corner

Of the party

My job... is to protect

Not to hope, not to love, not to feel..

Simply to sit and wait in the dark

..Until he needs me again

No, I will not say my name

We will never be friends

I was born to sit here

Until he needs me again

The woes of a protector

Are not things of which

I will ever complain

I simply bide my time

Until he needs me again

And if never again I am needed

I will simply fade away

But this silly teenager...

Needs me everyday

Le ciel, le soleil, les étoiles…  
Aucun ne brille aussi fort que toi.  
Ton doux sourire emplit mon cœur de chaleur,  
Même aux jours les plus glacés de l’hiver.  

Ta beauté rivalise avec la fleur,  
Mais même la plus éclatante des roses s’efface devant toi.  
Je désire chérir ton amour  
Et t’épouser en ce jour.

The smallest, most meek, yet not the least,
My brothers faced your wrath, a furious beast—
Shielding me, their strength became my shield,
In your storm, their love was all they'd yield.

Though the world is cruel, bitter, and cold,
I know they'll stay with me, as we grow old.
As your icy rage begins to fade,
I smile at Jon’s grace, undismayed.

– Quartz

Seen only through my sightless gaze,
The weight of your neglect and pain,
Averted fate, now lost in haze—
Your downfall, carved in sorrow’s chain.

Though young, my brother held great grace,
His wisdom far beyond his years.
At your farewell, none showed a trace—
Not a single tear fell through the years.

I recall the world through clearer eyes,
Though you took that light from me.
Flint, with his mind, not his might,
Was the one who set us free.

– Obsidian

In the dark of night, the moonlight gleams,
A woven net of shadows, tangled dreams.
The air is thick with fragrant wine,
And in my heart, desires entwine.

Beneath my skin, the pulse beats tight,
An ancient vine that twists in the night.
Olive branches bend with weight,
Heavy with words we never state.

Unspoken, they crawl within,
A fever that blooms beneath my skin.
Taste the salt, the sweat, the heat,
Where every thought and breath do meet.

Lips part with a trembling sigh,
Touching ink that whispers why.
I drink in your presence, drown in the sound,
As if your soul’s pulse can be found.

The air is velvet, soft and warm,
A breeze that dances, kissing the storm.
Magnolia blooms, creamy and pale,
Petals unfurl like a lover’s tale.

Longing is rooted, deep in my bones,
Hollows echo, like ancient stones.
I write in the silence, ink and wine,
Merging our hearts in a tangled line.

The sun bleeds a crimson kiss,
As desires burn with gentle bliss.
Inside, our bodies pulse and sway,
A rhythm that calls the night to stay.

We crawl together, beneath the vine,
A twist of love, so dark, divine.
A phrase, unspoken, but understood,
A soft, aching truth, forever good.

The night is long, the vine twists tight,
But in this love, we live tonight.

Beneath the rain, I find my place,  
The world a blur of passing time,  
Maybe I’m lost, or maybe I’m free,  
In the silence where shadows climb.  

I reach for light that never fades,  
Through all the fear that fills my chest,  
The love we sought, the years we missed,  
Maybe in darkness, we find our rest.  

Hands will hold, hearts will soar,  
Through every battle, we endure,  
I feel your warmth, though miles apart,  
Maybe it’s love that heals the heart.  

Through all of this fight, we rise,  
In every tear, in every lie,  
I see you standing by my side,  
Upwards, we rise, our souls collide.  

Through the chaos, through the still,  
Maybe we’ll find a place to heal,  
But in the storm, you’re all I need,  
Together, we’re free, together, we breathe.  

And when the night is cold and long,  
I’ll find you in the fading dawn,  
Maybe we’ll be fine, maybe we’ll fall,  
But together, we will rise above it all.

I see you in the dark,
A shadow lost in time,
But your light calls me,
And I find the climb.

Through all the years we've missed,
And all the love we sought,
I reach for you in silence,
In every battle fought.

Your tears fall like the rain,
Washing all that’s past,
But still, your voice whispers,
A promise made to last.

I will stand beside you,
No matter where we go,
Through the quiet and the chaos,
Through every ebb and flow.

Maybe we’ll be fine,  
Rain and tears meet in the night,  
Hands held through the storm.

You say “maybe,” but I say “we’ll try,”  
Through the rain, through the pain, we’ll get by.  
I see your broken pieces, and still, I stay—  
Not to fix, but to love you along the way.  

In every “what if,” I’ll hold you near,  
Not for answers, but for love to clear  
The storm you carry, the doubt you fear—  
Together, we’ll stand, no need to disappear.

You’ve painted your heart with shades of rain and sorrow,  
A canvas so full of ache, I can hardly borrow  
The words to speak, yet still, I stand by your side,  
Wading through the currents where all our doubts collide.  

You say “maybe,” and I feel that hesitation deep,  
But I’m here, my love, to carry you through the steep.  
The rain falls for you, and I wish I could hold the storm,  
To shelter you from the cold, to keep you safe and warm.  

I’ve seen your fears, your losses—pieces of you strewn  
In fragments like puzzle pieces scattered beneath the moon.  
But love, I’ll pick them up, one by one, though we can't fix  
What time’s erased, or what hurts beneath the mix.  

You fear that maybe love's not made to last,  
But let me tell you, my dear, we have more than the past.  
Though we can’t control the threads fate might weave,  
I’ll stand with you, holding you, even when you grieve.  

If I must be the light in your rain-soaked night,  
I’ll be here, to make the darkness feel a little less tight.  
Maybe I can’t promise forever, or change the course of time,  
But with every step I take, I'll make you feel you’re mine.  

Even if we can’t remember what we once knew,  
I’ll love you, and in that love, we’ll make something new.  
For the second chance in February is not too far,  
It’s the present we hold, as we both heal our scars.  

So if your heart breaks into pieces again,  
Know I’ll be here, putting you back together, again and again.  
With each “maybe” and each “I don’t know,”  
I’ll show you we’ve got time, more than we’ll ever know.

I just sat there..

Reading over my lover's poems with tears in my eyes

Reposting them because they're beautiful and deserve love

But crying because of all of the pain

As my heart breaks at every lost or depressed poem

Though you are one who's problems you never bemoan

So I have decided, always and forever, E's poems will be my favorite

I love you

Time rushes past—too quick to hold,
but I’d spend forever in your world.
Each second fades like falling rain,
yet with you, I’d lose time again.

The stars still shine, the winds still call,
but nothing matters, not at all—
except the way you say my name,
the way your love still soothes my pain.

Flowers bloom where graves remain,
love and loss both carved the same.
But if this life means holding you,
I’d suffer fate, I’d see it through.

Someday, when skies are warm and clear,
when lilies bloom and winds turn near,
you’ll find the love we left behind,
never lost—just intertwined.

I’m almost seventeen…

Next year, I’ll stand on the edge of time,
a senior, while he lingers behind.
Happy birthday to me—
one step further, one year more,
always just ahead of him.

Is this how Bella felt in Twilight,
watching the days slip through her fingers,
aging past the one she loved?

But if every birthday
is a moment spent with you,
then let the years come—
I’ll cherish them all,
so long as they belong to us.

I took a chance

Told you I was not perfect

And yet you love me

I told you my hopes and my fears

Scars and insecurities

But you still stayed here

I want your hand in mine til the end of time

And I heard Queer Time works differently..

Wonder if you'll ever marry me?

With you, I would rest—
an open grave, full of blooms,
gazing at the stars.

I hear so many lovers swear,
"I'd die for you,"—as if they dare.
But love like that, so light, so thin,
Is more a whisper than a vow within.

A promise spoken, easy to break,
A weight most hearts can never take.

But here and now, I swear to you—
Not just in words, but all I do:

I’d live for you, **** for you,
Laugh with you, cry with you.
I’d fight for you, break for you,
Give my soul, my self, for you.

Not just to die, but to endure—
My everything is yours.

And for those of us who’ve known the night,
That promise carries all its might.

Can you still see me

Standing in this dark room

Talking to the memory of you

Your hand is back in my hair

The love is still there

Just like you never left

But that is not my life

I couldn't sit pretty

To let you create a pretty lie

And now I'm here and for all I know..

You may have died.

Close my eyes

Take a hard look inside

Time to face my memories

I'm so scared of what I'll see

Shielding my eyes from images of sunbeams

Removing fake perceptions like lowly weeds

I need to see my past to get a future

One where you and me are together

So I'll let myself fall deep

Choking as old feelings take root inside me

But I'm not nearly done yet

For you I'll stare into the sun

I would lasso the moon

Just to see a smile from you

Sometimes I feel

I'm running out of time

Smiling but drowning in

Insecurity inside

Only with you, I don't have to hide

The only one in which

I confide

Complimenting everyone I meet

Actually meaning it is a rare feat

For I and all human beings

Are two sides of the same coin

What we show others and what we dont

Memories hiding in the back of my mind

Feeling at ease whenever you're by my side

In the shadows, our past seems to hide

Our realities are mixing, and our fates collide

I am not perfect

I do not fit inside the box

For I decided to be the box

If I were a line I would not be straight

I do not believe in destiny;

Though I romanticize fate

My favorite animal may be a wolf;

Though I identify more with a cat or a fox

And everyone who knows me seems to like me alright

My boss always says I'm doing fine

But if I wasn't, would it be such a crime?

I try to do my best when I can

But there's only so much more I can stand...

Can someone give me a hand?

My life

My love

My loyalty

You've got it all

What else to you want from me?

Just watch me fall

I can see your eyes on me

Hello to the demon

Standing down the hall

The bane of my existence

Or the reason I'm here after all?

If I'm in trouble

Who should I call?

Looking back

Laughing at the past

Feeling less like trash

Looking back

Watching the flames burn

Falling in the ash

Looking back

Data overload the computer

Starts to crash

But I'm still looking back

Down like the ashes

My heart sinks now

My happiness fading

As dread starts to grow

You may be moving

I wish you wouldn't go

A place for you is in my heart

A hole forms when we're apart

Your hand is all mine needs

As you're more important

Than the very air I breathe

I'm so confused

Scars mar my heart

Unsure of which path

Would be right to chose

I'm tired of being used

I gave you my options

But you simply refused

My mentality I feel you

Purposefully abused

I cross my fingers

And make a wish

Flying to heaven

On the wings of

Your last kiss