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May 17 · 80
don't cry
bleedingink May 17
A pressure cooker,
that's what it is,
this life,
this me.

Simmering sorrow,
a low hum
in the chest,
a vibration in the teeth.

Gotta smile though.
Gotta answer the phone,
"Hey, how are you?"
"Fine, just fine, you know, living the dream."

Living the dream?
Whose dream?
Not the one where
tears flow freely.

A cleansing torrent,
washing away the grit
and grime
of forced composure.

No, can't do that.
Too much to handle.
Too many eyes
watching.

Too much responsibility.
Got to keep it together.
Got to.
Must.

Swallowing it down.
The lump in the throat,
the sting behind the eyes,
the earthquake in the gut.

Down, down,
down.
A metallic taste,
a silent scream.

Pretend, pretend,
pretend.
Laugh at the jokes.
Nod in agreement.

Offer solutions.
Be strong.
Be brave.
Be…okay.

But
the cracks are widening,
thin fissures
on a fragile surface.

And I wonder,
how much longer
can I hold
it all in?

How much longer
before the dam breaks?
And will anyone
even notice the flood
when it finally comes?
May 17 · 77
Here’s to the girls
bleedingink May 17
Here's to the girls with shadows in their eyes,
Here's to the girls who feel the weight of lies.
Here's to the girls who see a flawed reflection,
Here's to the girls facing constant dejection.


Here's to the girls with dreams tucked deep inside,
Here's to the girls who feel they have to hide.
Here's to the girls who battle every day,
Here's to the girls who long to find a way.


Here's to the girls who think they aren't enough,
Here's to the girls who feel life is too tough.
Here's to the girls on the verge of letting go,
Here's to the girls where silent teardrops flow.


Here's to the girls who need a gentle hand,
Here's to the girls who need to understand.
Here's to the girls, your worth is shining bright,
Here's to the girls, embrace your inner light.


So, my loves, remember who you are,
My loves go, reach for that star.
Don't ever give in, don't ever give your fight,
Here's to you girls, you will make it through the night.
May 17 · 77
Quiet
bleedingink May 17
There is not enough quiet,
in this world so loud,
a screaming symphony
of notifications and needs.

A hum,
a thrum,
a constant, gnawing crowd
pressing in, planting anxious little seeds.

Where everything is a race,
where you run till you drown,
chasing shadows,
fleeting glimpses of "enough."

Lost in the echo chamber
of this bustling town,
yearning for stillness,
a touch, gentle and rough.

Like the wind
whispering secrets through tall grass,
or the soft fall of snow
on a winter's night.

A space to breathe,
a moment that will last,
beyond the blinding glare
of artificial light.

A quiet heart,
a quiet mind,
a quiet soul,
lost in the static, searching for control.
May 17 · 121
It doesn't get easier
bleedingink May 17
You’d think that it would be easy, after all this time.
But I still look for your ghost.
Some people never ask for help, forever saying “I’m okay.” until they can't.
May 17 · 83
Lost
bleedingink May 17
Lost.

A whisper in the wind, a fading trace,
A heart adrift in empty, hollow space.
No landmarks rise, no guiding star to see,
Just endless grey where hope used to be.

Lost in the woods of doubt, a tangled vine,
Where shadows dance and twist in serpentine.
Each step a gamble, forward into fear,
A silent scream that no one seems to hear.

Lost in the crowd, a face without a name,
A flicker lost within a burning flame.
No recognition, no familiar hand,
Just anonymity across the land.

Lost in a dream, a phantom memory,
Clinging to fragments of what used to be.
A fragile echo of a life unknown,
A seed of longing, desperately sown.

Lost to the self, a fractured, shattered soul,
Searching for solace to make it whole.
A journey inward, a desperate plea,
To find the path back to what I can be.

But even lost, a chance to start anew,
To forge a self, resilient, strong, and true.
To shed the old, embrace the unknown way,
And find a purpose in the dawning day.
May 16 · 85
Ghost
bleedingink May 16
The house echoes so loud now.
Sunlight falls,
dust motes dancing.
He used to chase them,
a blur.
Now just the quiet remains.
My hand still reaches for fur.

Everywhere,
his ghost lingers,
A favorite toy,
untouched now.
The park we walked,
feels wrong,
Empty pathways taunt me,
Where is your happy bark now?

Lonely world,
rearranged wrong.
Each day a mountain to climb.
Looking for you in the breeze,
In every kind, gentle face.

Maybe in dreams,
we'll meet.
Running free,
no more pain.
Until then,
I search for you,
In this life,
so strange and new,
Hoping one day,
I will see you again.
Sometimes our greatest friends never say a word.
May 16 · 88
On the floor
bleedingink May 16
On the floor,
against the wall,
someone screaming, “call for help”
spinning, can’t focus.
the chipped paint mocks me.

Voices fade,
in and out,
a distant siren wails, a plea?

My own breath,
shallow, tight,
is this really happening now?

The cold tile,
a harsh embrace,
numbness creeping, slowly stealing.

Just stay awake,
just breathe deep,
before it all disappears.

Is that my name they’re calling?
Everything is getting dark.
May 16 · 70
Sanctuary
bleedingink May 16
She smiles,
just a little,
and the tension in my shoulders
melts,
like snow on warm skin.

Her voice,
a low, steady current,
is like coming home.
This girl,
with her soft eyes,
and gentle words,
is…

the harbor in my storm,
the fire in my winter,
the reason I remember
how to breathe again.

She is the quiet promise
whispered in the wind,
that peace, at last,
might finally be granted.

She is the reason
my heart knows how to beat,
a melody both ancient
and eternally new.
She is sanctuary,
in its purest form,
a haven built of kindness,
and offered just to me.
<3
May 16 · 208
Panic
bleedingink May 16
A breath caught,
snagged on a jagged edge,
pure, white terror blooms,
a blinding fog.

Footsteps echo,
too loud,
everywhere, a frantic pulse,
a hummingbird trapped.

Panic, a cold fist
around the throat,
can't see, can't think,
just run. Where?
Doesn't matter, just away.
Blind.
May 16 · 87
My everything
bleedingink May 16
He is the earth,
this horse,
a solid, breathing ground
beneath my fingertips.

The summer sun catches
in the rich, dark copper
of his rippling coat,
a warmth that lingers
even when the days grow cold.

He is the quiet rhythm
of breath and heartbeat,
a steady counterpoint
to the frantic pulse of the world.

He is patience,
a silent understanding
that blooms like wildflowers
in the space between us.

He is everything,
this horse.
My anchor.
My home.
He is solid and sweet. An angel in disguise.
bleedingink May 15
She is a girl in a gilded cage, it is beautiful to look at, bars made of finest gold, engraved with delicate flowers and shimmering vines. But it is still a cage.
She is a girl in a gilded cage, protected, sheltered, safe, but not free. Like an elegant songbird, she is expected to sing, and she does, forever obedient, forever trying to please.
She is a girl in a gilded cage, never allowed out, always behind those beautiful bars while they shout at her, for she did not sing their favorite song that day.
She is a girl in a gilded cage. Begging with her eyes for someone to see beyond the sweet and happy melody she sings, to open the little door, to let her out.
She is a girl in a gilded cage, cowering in a corner as they make the cage smaller, for she did not play her part, instead doing something they will not allow.
She is a girl in a gilded cage, when they are gone she hurts herself, believing she deserves to hurt for being a disappointment.
She is a girl in a gilded cage, sitting on the floor, her only true friend lifeless in her arms, a sob suppressed for she cannot show she is hurting, always happy.
She is a girl in a gilded cage, her innocence taken too early, too fast, looking for a way out because anything is better than this pain, shredding her from the inside.
She is a girl in a gilded cage, learning how to pick the lock because no one will save her so she has to save herself.
She is a girl in a gilded cage, going to parties and getting drunk, hooking up with strangers, even though the one she really wants is there, but so far away.
She is a girl in a gilded cage, coming back every time, because they have trained her to believe she needs them to survive.
She is a girl in a gilded cage, still singing, but her eyes hold secrets and pain that she has never voiced out loud.
She is a girl in a gilded cage, something cracked within her, and someone finally notices and asks what is wrong, but she will not say, afraid of the abandonment given by so many others.
She is a girl in a gilded cage, singing, laughing, joking, and no one will ever know that she is a prisoner, one who might not make it out alive.
Sometimes we have to die before we can live.

— The End —