Why is it so easy, to fall back into how it was before?
Why is it so simple, to forget what you were moving towards?
It's so easy, to just give up.
What is the point anymore?

put on a smile, force cheer into your voice
smile, and laugh, and mess around.
because no one can know that inside your head you are screaming,
or just numb.
no one can know that as soon as you get away, get to your room,
that you will try to make the pain go away.
but then there comes a yell
and you shoot up,
hiding the pain in your voice as you call back,
trying to fix your face so the moment you walk out that door,
no one knows.
and you are perfect and sweet and fine all over agin.
how long,
can you do this?
before you can't anymore.

The way the light hits when you’re
talking,
like a secret just for me,
catching on something
I can’t quite name.


It’s like that moment
when the sun breaks through
after a storm,
everything looks brighter,
sharper.


Or maybe it’s just
the way you tilt your head,
and suddenly
the room gets smaller,
all my attention
snagged.


Like something out of a movie,
but real.
And I’m just
standing here,
trying to remember
what I was going to say.

the good days don't always last,
you sink, deeper and deeper,
back to that place you tried so hard to get out of.

its always, "just once more"
but it never stops,
and you can't get back out.

reach for the stars, they say
they never tell you
how much it will hurt
when you fall.

spread your wings, they say
but they forget to mention
they will be shot full of holes
before you've barely flown.

climb that mountain, they say
never telling you
that sometimes the mountains just get bigger
not smaller.

you can do it, they say
but when you've tried
over and over and over again
you stop believing, you just want to give up.

Tiny rivers down my face,
blink them away but its too late.
Call me a monster,
but you don't know that i cry.

You are beautiful,
You are smart,
You are funny,
You are brilliant,
You are, you are, you are.