The silent creak of the small blood vessels Closing in on themselves
Restless in my scarred hands
Killing me silently

The freezing cold silence washes over me
The stillness unbroken
But for the steam rising,
This tea dying,
To warm me in a zero sum game,
wishing,
To reach the moon through miles of cool air

But
falling
  from
    this
     still
      tree,

Holding me out,
offering me to this starry sky,
Holding me out,
far from this cliff
High above shallow river water and muddy banks.

I sit here in this cradle,
Finally alone again,
without attachments
Finally myself again,
lighting a cigarette
to clear the silence,
to ward off the cold...

And as this smoke
Fills my head
Warms my chest

My heartbeat fades from my ears
Hearing unwarranted storms in the silence
Born from the swirling smoke in my thoughts
I think,
'Who am I now that I am myself again?'

There is an enchanting place
Timeless in the forever of the night
Where stars shine in unclear skies,
the moon is radiant,
celestial light permeate the shadows, exhaling twilight.
And in this place of the past, present, and future,
in the drunken haze where I am drunk enough,
but not too drunk,
to write,
I live.

This room of mine; temporarily,
ephemerally inhabited with my presence,
mingled with the shadows of chai, whiskey, and cinnamon,
in the clutter of my discordance.

A dimly lit chandelier embraces the darkness dancing along the windows absent of moonlight.

Rivers of cold spirits and hot tea flow into images of paths taken and not,
cigarette smoke billows into shifting semblances of possible futures..

and my eyes close to hear the whispers of my mind,
(Telling me to build something)
and my eyes close to listen to the desires of my heart,
(Yelling at me to run away far from here)
And my eyes close, unsure if I want them to open again,
(Knowing that if you were here, I would know where to go).

Hushed words and whispered promises
spiral softly through the dark of night,
intertwining among the foundations of carefully built walls..

Remnants lay around us
(marking our grave)
torn asunder in loves cataclysm,
unearthed skeletons,
embrace in moonlit darkness

Surrounded by their presence
Breathing in the moment
Holding it in under a starry sky
Praying to gods they don't believe in
To never let go.